About a week ago, I went out on a date.
And this date is a date that I need to share with all of you.
I’ll tell you a little bit about her, and I’ll change her name. Let’s just call her Amy, for the sake of you identifying with her real name.
Amy was pretty amazing.
She was single and 44 years old.
She never had kids.
Wanted them, but that moment, as she put it ever so clearly, passed by her.
She talked all about she learned from all her lessons.
And how she really wants a love in her life.
So, what’s wrong so far?
Here’s a woman who is open.
A woman who has admitted the fact that the child train has passed her by.
Well, what happened next is what men truly never want to hear, and it’s not what men desire.
We had a great conversation up until this point.
I told her how open I am.
How my daughter has taught me what real love is all about.
How I’ve worked on my issues and my stories. How I literally have become the new man that I am today.
I talk about all of my experiences as being very positive ones, because they really were, and how I’ve set my time aside to bring somebody in.
How I’m open most nights, because I believe in the spontaneity. And I also believe that the universe will delivery somebody upon me when my life is open.
She agreed, and then she said to me the thing that no man wants to hear.
She said, “I’ve got such a full life. I want to meet somebody as well, but I don’t really need a man.”
I felt like ET sticking my finger up, and saying Ouch.
I have to say it one more time. Ouch.
You know why men don’t want to hear that?
It’s that they don’t feel needed, and men need to feel needed.
She then proceeded to tell me how full her life was. Her trips, her travels. How busy she is at work. How committed she is to her clients, her resources, and her business.
She literally had the next three months scheduled.
Ouch, said David again.
At that point, I wanted to fake like ET and phone home, because I knew the date was officially over.
You see, even though she says she wants a relationship, in turn, she actually doesn’t.
Believe me, the coach in me wanted to come out, and literally coach her at this point.
She’s a walking contradiction. Her words say one thing, but she doesn’t open up any space or her time, for a man to fit into her life.
Her life is so busy that I don’t think she’d even fit in any time for a man.
At the end of the date, I gave her a hug.
I pulled back, she gave me that kissy face, love that kissy face.
And I looked at her, and I said, listen. You are awesome. But, we’re not a match.
She goes, why?
I said, because you’re not open.
She goes, I am.
And I say, your words are open, your life is not. I can’t fit into your life.
You see, I don’t schedule my life for the next three months. I leave my nights pretty much open so I can download, and hangout with somebody when I’m not with my daughter.
That’s being open.
As you described your life, I was sitting there thinking maybe we can have another dinner again in three weeks, because that was your next opening night.
She looked at me all sad, and I looked at her and I said, figure out what you’re running from, and once you do that, you’ll truly be able to connect to a man. The door is open for you to come back in, because I think you’re spectacular. But I only want to come back in when you have room.
You see, that’s what men want to hear.