I get this question a lot and I think we need to address it today.

How to kindly say no to a Tinder or a Bumble match.

Let me be honest and upfront with you right now. I’m going to tell you how I Bumble.

How I say no is this: I delete it.

I swipe right for everything on Bumble. Because I know that in order to get what I want and make it time efficient, I don’t look at each picture or read each file. I just quickly swipe right. Because I know that women are either going to choose or not choose. Not only that, but I also know that women get to act first. I’m not going to waste my time looking and reading through people that may or may not swipe right on me.

So then, what happens is women will meet my match or whatever you call it.

Then, they’ll contact me. They’ll come up with a hello, or hi, or how are you, or whatever it might be. Then I’ll go and look at their photos, check out their profile.

Then I’ll kindly delete it.

I’m not going to send them an e-mail, a text, an IM, whatever it might be, and say hey thanks for contacting me, but I just don’t find you attractive.

Or thanks for contacting me, but you’re really not my type.

There’s really nothing you can do to be nice. You don’t want to say, gee thanks for contacting me. You sound like a really great person, but I’m not attracted to you. What are you going to say to somebody? Because people get so bent out of shape, and this is part of what online dating is. App dating and online dating is a delete system.

It’s expected. I don’t take it personally when I reach out first on Tinder. 95% of the time when I’m matched with somebody on Tinder, I send them a very clever text.

I hear nothing back but crickets and ghosts. Why? I have no idea. I’m not going to speculate. I don’t care. I just assume somebody else was more clever than I am.

Somebody else was better looking than I am.

Maybe they just didn’t get Tinder notifications.

Maybe they just weren’t interested once they thought about it.

That’s life. I don’t get angry, I don’t get bent out of shape. I don’t lose my shit. I don’t swear off of Bumble and Tinder forever, that it sucks. I just realize it’s part of the game. It’s part of how things are done.

And until you get that through your mind, you’re going to always take these things personally.

There’s nothing personal about swiping or online dating. It’s the way it is. This is what you need to do to move forward.

I have probably sent out thousands of texts on Tinder, Bumble, Match, Hinge, whatever it might be. I’ve gotten back no responses a lot of the time.

Or, I texted and gotten along with somebody. I was attracted to them. We were vibing and all of a sudden they vanished into thin air.

Do I get upset? Do I let my underwear go in bunches? No.

It’s all part of it. Do I give up? Absolutely not. You see, I’ll never give up until I meet the person I’m supposed to be with. Until I meet the person I’m going to fall in love with. Until then, life will be a series of ridiculous texts and rejections, and swipe rights, and deletes and everything else.

I don’t take this personally.

Deleting will be and always has been a numbers game. Anything in life is a numbers game. The more successful you’re going to be in anything, the less consumed you’re going to be with the outcome. So, with all this in mind.

Bring on the next batch of Bumble, and Tinder, and Hinge women.

Because one day, whether I meet you in person, or I meet you online, or I meet you somewhere, we’re both going to recognize each other. We’re going to get past all the bullshit. We’re going to go and text and connect and meet and have that chemistry that we’re looking for.

Until then, there’ll be endless text conversations, deleting people I’m not interested in, and dealing with people who are not interested in me. That’s all we can do. That’s the power that we have. That’s the power you need to have when it comes down to dating in any way, shape, and form. Stop taking it personally.