Dear David – Am I Making The #1 Online Dating Mistake?

April 11, 2014 142 Comments Men Online Dating, Uncategorized

Dear David Wygant“Dear David” time on the blog again, and this email is from a guy making the biggest online dating mistake possible. Let’s see if we can help him out shall we. Here’s what he said…

“Dear David, I don’t get why online dating isn’t working for me. I send messages to women, and most the time I get quite a few responses. I then email back with my number saying, I’d love to speak more. Give me a call, but none of them ever do. What am I doing wrong?”

David says…

Wow!

OK, my friend, you need some serious help. You have this ALL wrong, and until you change the way you’re doing things online, you’re never going to get a date.

What I’m about to reveal isn’t just the worst online dating mistake guys make, but also one of the biggest mistakes men make with women altogether. Now I don’t care whether you’re shy with women, already been married twice, or you’re an alien like ET who is only dating women for the first time ; the first thing you need to learn is that women want men to make the first move.

That’s right. Most women see you as a pussy unless you can call them first, or make the first move. You turn them off instantly if you’re one of these guys. So how does this relate to online dating, and how can you avoid this major online dating mistake I’m talking about?

OK, so you’ve joined an online dating site. You email a woman. She emails you back. Great. She’s showing interest. You email her back with your telephone number, and tell her to “give you a call.” Big mistake! Are you too afraid to give her a call?

This is what it says to a woman when you send her your number. It says, “this guy is too afraid to call me. Women have probably rejected him so many times before. He must think he can get a date online he’d never normally get before.”

It goes even deeper than that too. She looks at you as a man who can’t approach women, and probably doesn’t know how to date. She thinks you’re cheap. You want HER to pick up the phone and make the first call. Now she wonders whether you’re the kind of guy who passes the check on the first date. Don’t forget, women see this kind of behavior from men all the time offline, and they don’t like it.

Men approach them at a party, stand chatting awkwardly for a few minutes and then hand them a business card, expecting them to call and arrange a date. Are you serious? This woman has actually taken the time to respond to you. She’s saying she’s interested in you in some way. Don’t put the ball back in her court. Close her. Email her back and say, “Give me your number. I’d like to call you.”

Once again, you’re taking control. You’re not just asking for her number, you’re telling her you’re going to call her. It paints you as a hero, and women want a hero not a zero. Not taking control loses you dates offline, and it loses you even more dates online. Remember, you’re not the online guy sending this woman messages. She’s probably had 50 emails from men wanting to meet her. Out of all of those guys, she chose you and maybe one or two others to respond to. If you don’t jump on the opportunity and grab her number, one of the others will.

If you leave it for her to call you, you’re giving other men who will push to make the first call the advantage. Don’t let them in. Don’t make yourself look like a big pussy. Don’t look like the guy who never follows through. Women want men of action, not men of weakness. This is a great chance for you to show you’re a man of action!

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Andreas says

2015-10-15 16:26:33

Interesting notion! I agree that the guy has to be more active to stand out in the crowd. To be on the critical side however I sometimes wounder just how much exactly one is expected to do. It is extremely frustrating to constatly bend over backwards to arrange everyting and get noting but indifference back. A commitment should be 50-50 right?.... Even online.
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Sumeet Dhillon says

2015-01-03 08:58:50

Hi im a young 18 year old who was dating a girl for 3 months everything was great and out of know where she wasn't happy that what she told me she is an grade 12 student who is finishing her last year of high school. so I'm not sure if it was just school we meet on Instagram and we moved on pretty fast i asked her out the first time i meet her and i feel like i fall in love with her we broke up and its been almost 2 months and i still think of here and i wanna fixes things because i feel like its not over what should i do and one more thing she has not deleted the pictures of me and her. what does that mean. PLEASE GIVE ME ADVISE
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Bob says

2014-04-18 04:29:24

Forget the list. Act like Bob, get many women!
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Bob says

2014-04-18 04:18:57

I've already rode this pony Techo. You won't get past first gear, white belt, 101, junior college, with it.  I was hopin', but alas...I will keep searching, and if I hit paydirt, you can take the reins.
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Bob says

2014-04-18 04:10:21

It the ones you always least expect techo... Kinda sad to find out you're not the big dog on the blog, no mo...Huh?
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Technoboy says

2014-04-18 04:01:39

Hmm you just took me up on a challenge. I was being cute - I did not actually have a top ten list to be honest. Call a guy out why don't you? But here it goes - Technoboy's list of 10 hypothetical reactions to the last post that are preferable over 'sorry i offended you': Talk about how to spoil and pamper men Talk about how women like to get spoiled and pampered Give me some shit about being a whiny baby, making sure to exaggerate along the way Zero in on the 'you and me might just get along' part No it's not a mens 'secret'. I know all about that secret, and many others. men are such open books. Ha ME spoil and pamper a man?! never. How men react (or dont react) to compliments / noticing details Talk about calling guys out on their BS Talk about guys calling you out A man needs to EARN being pampered, and here's how Lists are fun arent they? They are good way to jog your brain for starters.
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Technoboy says

2014-04-18 03:38:37

Colleen, Looks like I just went over your head. No worries, I have that effect on a lot of people. I am not selling any product. I was just acting out an example how grown men in my area talk like teenage girls. Read it again more slowly - it's a real thigh slapper. By the way I am in a liberal stronghold. THE liberal stronghold, perhaps. So yes I have seen some holes poked into my 'men are tough' theory lately :( Keeping the ball rolling though: If I wanted your input on a product, I might word it like: "Hey Colleen do you have a minute? I want to pick your brain about something I am working on" or "I have something I want to share with you, Colleen. It's a new product idea. Do you have some time right now? if i wanted to get cute outside of work, i might say: "I have an idea I want to bounce off of you. Can you give me your honest opinion though? I need to know whether the idea stinks or not... you can? really? I don't know ... when is the last time you told a guy their idea stunk? hmm?" I have a colorful imagination as you can see.
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Technoboy says

2014-04-18 03:14:11

Well slap my banjo and toot my flute - cowboy Bob here just done sounded like an intie-lectual. Hoo - wee! Ya hear that, ladies? :) Don't let it rub off on you too much Bob - it's a lonely crowd out here with us city slickers.
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Pam says

2014-04-18 01:41:27

Keep in mind that David occasionally writes for other sites, not just his own. He has a new article up on Cupid's Pulse and has been featured on the Huffington Post.  I discovered James Michael Sama's dating blog a while ago: https://jamesmsama.com/ His advice focuses on those who are in/desire long-term relationships, not so much how to approach people and get dates. He has also been in a long-term relationship himself for quite a while now and saw his girlfriend through her medical crisis with cancer. 
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Colleen says

2014-04-17 20:04:55

I'd be interested too.   btw Is David on vacation?  I just get on here and *POOF* he's gone!  
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Caroline says

2014-04-17 19:57:47

Rick-can I ask what that blog is? I'd also be interested :)
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Colleen says

2014-04-17 19:28:19

Technoboy, You know I like lists per my exuberant response to Hans' tourist list for picking up chicks. So have at it.  I like them witty or useful, preferably both.  Same as men.   "Men are tough."  Really?  From what I can tell on this blog, and in real life, some men pretend to be tough.  But most are pussies, especially in liberal strongholds, like the northeast.  I'm moving to Charleston.  Hopefully, men are men there, but if not, at least I'll be with my own tribe. As far as your product goes, I am new here, and thus, in the dark.  What EXACTLY are you selling? I will be happy to provide input.  
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Bob says

2014-04-17 14:15:29

Getting warmer Techno Your obvious analytical approach, and intelligence, is unappealing to MOST women, at the introduction level. The first thing they are thinking is safety, and sexual suitability.  So, the intellectual side, should be reserved for post approach and the comfort, and  compatibility phase.  I deploy a variety of vernacular approaches, suited to the woman's obvious tastes, and of course the surroundings and environment.  Bar, dog park, concert, etc, determines the initial, appropriate, venue to use on her for my contact.  That should help.  Like you said, attract them with the reptilian side, retain them with the mental intelligence and compatability factor , that you ascertain from your physical and instinctual foundation.
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Technoboy says

2014-04-17 07:49:50

Lol! You girls ARE fun. It's more interesting here now with you around. How did you end up here anyway? And how come no one scared you off yet? Try not to say anything stupid or make any typos, guys, because Caroline will never let you hear the end of it :)
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Technoboy says

2014-04-17 07:43:36

Are you saying there are no professional, fit, attractive police officers? :) ! And it's even funnier when you consider that the last time I went to a donut shop, I chatted with a VERY fit and attractive officer there haha. In Pam's defense though 'professional' usually it means 'office job' or 'six or more figures'.  
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Technoboy says

2014-04-17 07:34:27

It's spelled Iron MAN, Elizabeth. Iron MAN. Get it right. :) So I take it you got a restraining order and never saw your ex again? I stuns me when I hear women make excuses for men who abused them. Try not to take it out on any of us though. I saw a cockroach the other day and took it outside because I didn't want to squish it. Keep me posted on how your team change goes. I would probably be better off if I liked men's bodies myself. Except women's bodies just look SO much better in bathing suits it's unbelievable. Can't blame you for switching.
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Technoboy says

2014-04-17 07:05:51

'didnt mean to offend you' was not on the top ten list of reactions i was hoping for. you'd think that after studying mental jiu jitsu for over a year a guy would be past the white belt level :( men are tough, colleen. the upside to that is you don't have to act like you are stepping on egg shells or walking on rice paper around them. the downside is you usually have to smack them upside the head with a point before they will even register it. or maybe i'm wrong. maybe men are not tough and blunt anymore. maybe it's just me. i have seen my share of grown men talking like teenage girls since i moved to NoCal, colleen :) 'Ummmm. Yeah. So what I'm here for is to kind of like, you know, maybe, like get your input a little? On this new product? That I have been working on? If you don't mind, that is. That would be GREAT.'
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Technoboy says

2014-04-17 06:45:17

That was a penetrating observation and comment, Bob. I am going to sleep on that one. I have an observation for you too: I think the redneck act is a cover. A sleight of hand. You have a fast and critical mind, but you choose to direct attention away from it. Because when you highlight the side of you that wrangles beasts, you are getting her attention on a different level - a level that will get her off her stupid iPhone, out of her neurotic head, and into your house where she belongs. Because you speak to her animal and reptile brain, not her human brain. So am I right, or am I full of shit? Or a little bit of both?
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Technoboy says

2014-04-17 06:31:36

Wow, thanks for the detailed response Christina. Looks like I hit a hot button topic with you. I am completely with you on cutting down the chatter and getting her out of her head. That is THE most important thing I think. Easier said than done when you have a head as hyper as mine... I chuckled when i saw this: "girls are like horses in that we will respond to the energy you send out" I chuckled because I said 'women are like horses - they spook easily' once or twice myself. Ha!   The part where we split ways though is how meaningful and deep responding to a guy's energy is. I couldn't disagree with you more on this point. I think judging a man by his vibe and energy is superficial and wrong and sets you up for poor decisions. And I have a wealth of evidence to support me. On telling the truth: I am thinking of a study in which confederates lied 50% of the time and test subjects were asked to detect lies. The average person was only marginally better than chance (!!). Yet when asked about how confident they are of being right people gave themselves very favorable reviews. Except this one is probably more relevant to our discussion: in job interviews, companies often select candidates by checking their gut on whether the candidate is a good fit. This has been shown to be a poor indicator  - a much more accurate approach is to anonymously critique the work of several candidates. Otherwise you will tend to eliminate the blue haired tatooed guy whose work is good enough to redefine your company in favor of the polished guy whose only marketable skills are his agreeableness and his obedience. And there I go being a big blabbermouth again even though I know it is unattractive. Oops! I like to use this forum to organize my thoughts and to blow off steam, by the way.
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Colleen says

2014-04-16 14:54:15

Wasn't directing the whining comment to you Techno.  I did not mean to offend you.
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Rick L says

2014-04-16 12:24:12

I hear you Bobby. While everyone on here is not “shitty”,  I did have something else in mind when I found this blog. David doesn’t believe in moderating the blog though. He says if you don’t like what someone is saying, ignore them. I have another forum that helps me balance out this one though. The difference is night and day. Party on people…..
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James says

2014-04-16 07:15:56

Oklahoma I think...
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Technoboy says

2014-04-16 03:59:21

You got me Colleen. I have been whining lately. Call a guy out why don't you? Yes it is exhausting being in control all the time. next time you meet a real man try to bring that one up - I think he will get a kick out of you noticing that detail. And let me tell you a secret all men have: when we are exhausted, we like getting spoiled and pampered just as much as you do. Shhhh, don't tell anyone I said that - it's a secret. As long as you remember that, and I remember to keep my whiny mouth shut, you and me might just get along.
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john says

2014-04-15 23:01:50

Is it filmed in Kentucky?
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john says

2014-04-15 23:00:34

zzzzzzzzz... 
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Bob says

2014-04-15 21:33:22

Oh my.  The two eunuchs return for the Jack Ass 12 premier.  Another one of your lousy movies. 
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Laura N. says

2014-04-15 21:16:46

And, you're the bomb, Colleen...
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Laura N. says

2014-04-15 21:13:27

Pot, meet the Kettle...you're both black...
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john says

2014-04-15 20:36:56

Jeez... you are such a fucking cry baby.
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James says

2014-04-15 20:35:59

I am watching 'Wrong Turn 2: Dead End', where hideously deformed inbred cannibals ruthlessly butcher a group of reality show contestants.
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Bobby says

2014-04-15 19:49:39

This has got to be the worst discussion board with the shittiest people on the entire fucking internet. But I just can't look away... Its like a trainwreck of circle jerks, narcissists, and hopelessly insecure people.  Just losers validating others "loserness" so they feel less lonely and don't have to risk developing as a person. Really wish you would moderate your board David... so there can actually be some constructive discussion.  Nice blog by the way. Basic but true.
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john says

2014-04-15 19:42:45

Oh, now you guys have done it. I can see them now... "Let's make a deal" is long over, "Rachel Ray" is on the TV now, the frozen yogurt has run out, and they are in a PANIC. The're screaming at the cat to go get more, cat doesn't understand. They just got done flipping through their 12 messages on Match.com, they all say "hi baby, you look purrrty, give me your number", they aren't interested, so they clicked over here, and their wrinkly old fingers are typing away while they come up with a cutsey way to say "John is really stupid". Cat is no longer interested and is drinking out of the toilet...
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Bob says

2014-04-15 19:22:19

Better hurry!  Golden Girls is on next!!
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Bob says

2014-04-15 19:15:55

James, (tampon boy) You are so ignorant, and  obviously lack the intelligence, to understand any of  my even simplest methods, I deploy.  (not only ignorant, but stupid) that you can't begin to decipher the many nuances, hidden subliminal innuendos, sexual connotations and intentional   and varied myriad, of vernaculars, that I use on women, on a continual,  and daily basis, to achieve unlimited success,  with as many as I choose, at will.  (you can look up some of the big words) My techniques are so advanced, poor James, that it is like trying to explain rocket science to a mouse running on his little treadmill, thinking he is actually achieving forward progress.  So like most hapless, and hopeless individuals, you resort to retaliation,  anger, and resentment, to what you do not, and can not ever understand. Your one and only, kiss ass, mangina "technique" that you employ,  is so commonplace, boring, and repetitive, that women will continue to dismiss you as just another loser, flattering, spending his money, and trying to complement his way into their panties, like all the other buffoons before you.
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James says

2014-04-15 18:47:30

There actually is a slight difference between John and Cowboy Bob: John is highly intelligent and witty, while Cowboy Bob is desperately trying to play in a league that is not his own. Cowboy Bob reminds me of a punching bag, the hits keep on coming, but he sucks it all up. He keeps believing that women are dumb creatures that want and need to be manipulated. That is because he never looked any further than the next trailer park, where appliances are used as lawn ornaments, and where having three or more car wrecks sitting in your front yard makes you look rich.
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Caroline says

2014-04-15 18:04:38

Oh I see, Bob has to get them DRUNK first! Put that on your list guys: rule#6. 
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Pam says

2014-04-15 17:50:21

LMAO....too funny!
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Laura N. says

2014-04-15 17:37:22

Well, this has certainly made for some entertaining lunch time reading... HAHAHAHAHA
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Caroline says

2014-04-15 17:34:12

Oh man, I'm just taking my lunch break and saw the blog.  I missed John and Bob's dumb and dumber routine!! Oh my bad, dum and dummest:)
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john says

2014-04-15 17:04:57

Hahaha.. I can just see them now.. "Ellen" is over, it's "let's make a deal" on the T.V. now, the're swinging their spoons in the air, mouth full of yogurt, screaming "screw you too, cowboy Bob!" yogurt flying all over the television... Hahahaha... That's ok Bob, I got em' all warmed up for ya. 
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Bob says

2014-04-15 16:30:02

Just don't be too strong, and let on that you are a whole lot smarter than her, Techno.  They just can't handle it when they can't keep up, so learn to dumb it up for her a little bit, to make her feel good.
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Bob says

2014-04-15 16:17:13

Go away for five minutes and another hen party, taking over the Rooster pole.  Hang in their John, I'll be coming to the party in a bit,  to clean things up, and we'll be having a chicken fest tonight (no need to go to Chic Fillet).  I'll   get the pot to boiling  for  the  old, eggless, stewin' Hens.  Ain't no use no more, anyway.  Might as well boil em up, and get em outta her for the nice young  pullets  I picked up.
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john says

2014-04-15 15:28:43

I can just picture you old broads sitting on your couches in front of the T.V. watching "Ellen", downing a pint of frozen yogurt, with your laptops on your laps, screaming "fuck you John!!!" Typing your little old wrinkly fingers away.  Lmao..
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john says

2014-04-15 15:21:06

Lol, I just felt like getting them all stirred up! I can smell the estrogen boiling in here.
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Pam says

2014-04-15 15:04:43

HA HA HA HA HA HA!
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Colleen says

2014-04-15 14:59:12

Hahahahaha, Caroline!   I don't know what's up with you, John.  I think the chicks on here are the bomb.
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Elizabeth says

2014-04-15 14:48:53

Actually,  John I run half-marathons and am in training for an Iron Men event.  I'm nearly 10 years divorced and still dealing with issues from my marriage. (It ended after my now ex held a gun to my head and threatened to kill me if I left him.)  The only reason why I didn't throw his ass in jail is because of our kids.   They are now in their teens, and I devoted myself to raising a healthy, emotionally balanced young woman and young man.  And I have succeeded...with help from my family and friends. (And no help or support from my psycho of an ex.  As far as I am concerned he was a sperm donor and I did not want my children to be further exposed to his idea of manhood and relationships.) That's what a lot of you men don't get about women.  Many of us have been abused and taken advantage of by men like some of you.  Get that through your heads.  I know there are plenty of crazy women out there, but it cuts both ways. I'm only now getting close to being "relationship-ready"... but after reading what some of you guys are say, I'm thinking about changing teams and going lesbian...  
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Caroline says

2014-04-15 14:48:13

John, there were fit and attractive officers there BUT they were all taken. I just KNOW it!!! Their sparkly gold bands on their fingers were BLINDING.  Wah wah
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Caroline says

2014-04-15 14:44:49

John... There were fit, attractive police officers there but they were all taken. I just KNOW it!!! The sparkly gold bands on their fingers were blinding!!! Wah wah
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Caroline says

2014-04-15 14:37:13

John...there were fit and attractive police officers BUT they were all taken. I just KNOW it!!!! They all had sparkly gold bands on their fingers. It was blinding!!! Wah wah  
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john says

2014-04-15 14:34:25

Commie.
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john says

2014-04-15 14:29:19

Are you saying there are no professional, fit, attractive police officers?
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Pam says

2014-04-15 14:25:03

Hey everybody--I went to Dunkin' Donuts this morning expecting to see some fit, professional, attractive single men in there and there NONE! OMG, THEY DON'T EXIST! SO ALL OF DAVID'S ADVICE IS WRONG!
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Pam says

2014-04-15 14:23:21

John, you act like a three year-old on this blog...calling women pigs and dogfaces and saying they're fugly and everything else. You can't come up with anything else in response (because you know what Elizabeth and everyone else says is true) so you throw a dumb name back. Sticks and stones, man...
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john says

2014-04-15 14:21:21

Some of you people seriously need to read a blog post about "how to take a joke."
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john says

2014-04-15 14:17:54

Based on what you've said, I'll bet you're a big freakin war-pig!
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Elizabeth says

2014-04-15 14:07:51

Go ahead, and keep on calling us dumb broads, John.   David also talks about mind set, being open to meeting people, and being positive in all of your dealings with others. (Male or female.)  Calling people names (dumb broads), calling women"ugly," calling women "fatties," or "fugly" is NOT being positive in your interactions with others. Not taking stock of yourself and finding SOMETHING you like about yourself is not taking positive action either. Finally, women can pick up on phonies, John.  All your talk BS about being friendly, open, smiling, etc. isn't GENUINE. Not if you keep calling yourself fat, ugly and unattractive. You are suffering from the mindset of many women in this country who also see themselves as a "fatty" or "fugly."  Until you can love who you are, NO woman will love you. 
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john says

2014-04-15 14:01:24

Oh, I thought you were the one who commented on my "at Chick-fil-a" update.  My bad.
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john says

2014-04-15 13:59:05

Why don't you all go back to your OWN BLOG, You bunch of wrinkly, old prune, leather snached, dogfaced ugly hags!
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Colleen says

2014-04-15 13:57:09

I love the list!  You guys are a hoot.  Can't believe I've been missing out on such great entertainment all this time.   @John, don't be such a cranky pants.  Seriously, lighten up, dude.  The Chick-fil-A comment was not directed at you.  Heck, I didn't even know you liked Chick-fil-A.
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john says

2014-04-15 13:55:16

Should be "you PEOPLE claim..." DAMMIT! (Yes, I meant to spell that DAMMIT.)
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john says

2014-04-15 13:52:07

You ARE a bunch of DUMB BROADS! lol. Seriously, you peoole claim to follow David, read his products, listen to his podcasts, etc. , and yet, you don't LEARN FROM WHAT HE SAYS!  How many times does he say "it's not what you say, it's how you say it"... and then you attack Bob for what he says when he's bantering with DRUNK GIRLS at the HONKEY TONK! It doesn't MATTER! Bob says it works, and I take his word for it, because I WASN'T THERE.
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Elizabeth says

2014-04-15 13:41:17

Hahaha! Peter.  Actually, it was calling us dumb broads that brought the heat. @Hans:  Add that to your list...don't call US women dumb broads. :)  
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Peter says

2014-04-15 13:38:21

John is taking the heat for that typo. Another one for that tourist list: US women don't like typos.
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Hans says

2014-04-15 13:34:12

Hey guys, I am taking this all in. My next vacation in the US will be a blast. What do I have so far:   Honky Tonk = pick up purty girls Chick-Fil-A = pick up no girls Golden Coral = pick up girls if you want to do some heavy lifting, quite literally Los Angeles = need to hug girls first New Hampshire = need a PhD from MIT to pick up girls This should be in all tourist guides !
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Elizabeth says

2014-04-15 13:32:06

John, I graduated from college summa cum laude (with high honors in case you don't know Latin), and can discuss literature, art, politics, current events and sports with anyone. I am funny, considerate, and open minded.  You are closed minded and unwilling to accept that until you work on your attitude and start exuding positive energy women will be repelled by you.  I don't care if you are 20 pounds overweight and have acne scars.  There are out of shape people with bad skin who have no problem finding love. Go to WalMart and find a guy who looks like you... and see if he is wearing a ring or with a woman.  There are  women out there who will find you attractive.  You live in a fairly large city... so... yes... you will find someone IF YOU OPEN YOUR EYES AND LOOK, you passive aggressive jackass. And I'm smart enough to PROOFREAD before I post. (It's spelled dumbest, not dummest... and don't blame your phone's auto correct function for that mistake.)
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john says

2014-04-15 13:24:20

It was a TYPO. But I'll still give that one to you.
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john says

2014-04-15 13:22:36

Hahaha..  Ok, you got me on that one.   
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Pam says

2014-04-15 13:09:29

<I swear the women on this blog have to be the DUMMEST broads on the internet.> Um...John? It isn't spelled "dummest"; it's dumbest. 
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john says

2014-04-15 12:19:51

You people on this blog talk so much BULLSHIT. LOL. Like any of you have any idea what Bob really says while picking up young girls down at the honkey tonk.  When are you people going to understand that it is all about looks first, and after that it makes no difference WHAT YOU SAY, It's HOW YOU SAY IT. It's tonality, posture, eye contact, the right smile.. etc.   Bob could walk up to a girl in the honkey tonk and say "Hey little lady, I'll bet you poop turds bigger than a cow pie!" , and if said right, STILL PICK HER UP.  And the stupid "Chick-fil-a" remark.. I mentioned I was in a Chick-fil-a at the moment, and it was packed, and no single women were there.. I NEVER SAID I go to "Chick-fil-a" to pick up women.  Earlier that day I said I was at a coffee shop. After that I said I was at an outdoor patio in Mt. Adams. I was saying where I was and wether there were any single women my age there. Had NOTHING TO DO with picking up women at a fast food restaurant. I swear the women on this blog have to be the DUMMEST broads on the internet.
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James says

2014-04-15 10:24:18

Gotta hand it to Bob, he thinks he is hot shit, despite all the evidence to the contrary. That shoe leather vagina joke would make a sewer rat cringe, but hey, we mere mortals do not have a thorough understanding of what goes on in a world where girls fall for first cousins and where the entire trailer park community vies for the starring role in the sequel to 'Deliverance' or 'Wrong Turn'. Those beautiful young things he picks up are probably those who did not make the cut at the local beauty pageant, where the toughest entry requirement is to be in possession of a full set of teeth.
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christina says

2014-04-15 04:09:48

well, i get your point and it may seem so --- however, basic instincts always comes first. and basic instincts are not shallow; they run deep and surpass any level of "pseudy-oh-i-am-sooo-blabber-deep talk". most of us talk too much and kill the moment. as girls, we are so stuck in our heads most of the time (am i too fat, am i too skinny, am i too old, does he like me, does my ass look big in this, maybe he likes my friend, does she look better than me... and on and on it goes), that if a guy cannot pull us out of our heads via basic instincts, then he's going to get into the friend zone, because we don't want to date ourselves - we already are with ourselves day in and day out. just like guys do not want to start a relationship with a girl who cannot connect with his soul - if she just blablablabbers on and on, he's going to sleep with her and move on, because he sure as heck can't stand to listen to all that gossip and mindblabber non-stop. talking is not very sexy. the less you talk, the more power your words have. the better you are at sending off a vibe - of making your words come through the person you are, the more people will be attracted to you. your basic instinct becomes a direct reflection of your soul  values. and that is immensely powerful. people can FEEL who you are, what you are about without you even saying anything - you need not show off or talk about your qualities, because you are it, and people can feel it. especially these days, because most of us are drowning in iphone, ipads and icrap... and people are talking a lot without nothing to say. and then there is the issue that some guys think that they need to talk and talk and talk and relate to her as one of her girlfriends would to get into her pants; he is usually not sending out any sexual energy because he is super nervous and busy focusing on "trying". girls are like horses in that we will respond to the energy you send out, if you're pretending to be mr. nice guy and we sense this weird energy, we're just going to get weirded out. if you have strong, powerful energy, we match that. most females have spent a lot of time mastering putting on a play --- i mean think about it: make-up, we are trained to pretend and put on faces. because we try very hard for a very long time of our lives to live up to expectations (physical etc.)-- therefore we can spot the insecurity in "trying" immediately in others - and that turns us off. there is so much talk and very, very little action in this world today. we complain about where we live, money, friends, being single, not being single, being fat, being too skinny - it just goes on and on and on. instead of just shutting up and doing something about it. most os us do not know ourselves very well, so we can't understand other people either. it's kinda like if you've ever had a penetrating weakness like an addiction, then you can spot it immediately in other people - because you know how the pain of that weakness/secretive behavior expresses itself -i.e. addict knows another addict miles away, whereas it may take forever for the immediate family to figure out what's up -- because they do not know these traits. same as any other human trait, just on a smaller scale - when you know the trait in yourself, it's easy to pick up in others.  you can pick up other people's body language and understand their traits very quickly --- body language is very telling. you know when someone hits on you, pretends to not be interested but really is, or when someone has fallen for you not by what they say, but it's just small things in the way they act, when you hide nothing --- like when someone loves you, they can't hide it - and there are so many ways that it is obvious if you've ever opened up for loving someone yourself, then you know what that feeling expresses itself like ---- you will know exactly what it looks like. the only catch is, you won't recognize it, if you have not opened up that part of yourself ever.  it's like when we know someone is lying, yet there is no reason why we should know --- but fact is, most of us have at some point told a lie - and many times, we can "feel' when someone else is doing it ---something just doesn't feel right. we recognize the traits associated with this behavior in another being whether we know it or not - we just sense something is off. the energy we are drawn to will depend on our own level of self-development, insight on our needs etc. this is not shallow - it's just the instinct will be so strong that we FEEL it in every cell of our body. the issue is that most of us are super confused  about who we really are when we are all alone, what we have to offer, what we need etc. etc. and then of course we do not have a clue to what we want to attract and we are attracting a lot of other messed up, emotionally unstable types.  how i see it, anyway.
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Bob says

2014-04-15 03:53:46

Oh hey Sweetie, You back already, huntin' for me, wantin' some more?   No need to get jelous.  She didn't mean nothin' to me.  Just another one of my bimbos anyhow... Figured you were still stumblin' around in the moonlight down on Narragansett beach, lookin for a Skipper or some such, since the sky jockey didn't work out.  Hey, did you know tonight is a "blood moon", let's watch it together  and  make up.  I'll open a nice bottle of  Sharaz , and meet  on the beach.  I'll bring   a big blanket,  candles,  and a nice fluffy pillow, to keep you all comfy,  while we watch the blood  moon rise, since that's seems like your kind of thing.  And I always aim to please.   It'll be fun!  Sassy, city girl and the Cowboy, together forever!
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Pam says

2014-04-15 03:39:06

Correct, Brad. I think Mike mentioned at one time he tried putting up a fake women's profile as an experiment to see what it would attract, but I could be wrong. Anyways, that is exactly what I've been getting...I won't even look at their profile if they only write something trivial such as "hey sexy" or "U R hot." I just delete them. They need to show me, even if it's just a mention of something small, that they actually read the profile, not just scrolled through the photos. 
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Colleen says

2014-04-15 03:16:46

Technoboy, You are right on.  Strong, confident women want a man to take charge,because it is exhausting being the one in control all of the time.  I want to be taken by a man who has the balls to take me.  Not many do, because I don't NEED a man, I want the right man. Not some emotionally void playah, or some pussy.  A man who knows what he wants and goes after it without whining about having to do so.    
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Colleen says

2014-04-15 03:07:52

There ya go again, Bob, making my point.  Dating a girl who asks you about your "pee pee".  Did ya pick her up at Chick-fil-A?  Or maybe that's a little too high fallutin'?
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Technoboy says

2014-04-15 02:22:04

Christina, Good points, but you speak of deep and shallow connections as if they are mutually exclusive. So seriously: in your opinion, how do you know if a guy connects with you on a deep level? I happen to have strong opinions on this subject myself. I am a person of depth, substance, and integrity but my style is not as polished as you would like. So what does a guy get when he has substance but not style? One of two things, in my experience: The 'best' case scenario is the friend zone. You will enjoy talking to me and connecting with me and hearing my perspective. Mostly about the guys you are dating and how they are not working out. But shucks, there is just no chemistry between us :(. Or if you want to phrase it even more flatteringly, you can use: we have such a good friendship, and you wouldn't want to lose that. Also for some reason the women in this camp tend to be 40-ish and looking for more gray-haired men than myself. I tell them young men are more athletic and playful and they laugh :) The other scenario is you label me as 'creepy' based on my vibe within a few seconds without even knowing anything about me.   So: getting the shallow stuff down is a prerequisite to making a deep connection in my experience. I think every woman should go through the experience of trying to connect with another woman as a man - it would be a real eye opener.
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Yureon says

2014-04-15 02:05:43

"You should have been there when one of our former regulars got the ‘what do you want to do’ email from a man. She was the intelligent, attractive, ballsy, funny, successful, and choosy type – kind of like Colleen over here. And yet she panicked like a little girl when that happened. It was hilarious. I was cracking up on the inside." Yeah I know GOD forbid they make some effort to plan...it could have even been something she has been wanting to do for some time but could not because there was no one to go with... BUT NO NO. HE is the MAN, it's HIS JOB. "The moral of the story is that women still very much want a man to take charge. Which is even more important for the powerful and independent ones, because that means the man needs to have even more initiative and leadership than she does. They want the MAN they are ATTRACTED TO to take charge...(for the have no interest whether or not someone unattractive takes initiative or not) If anything they hope he doesn't so they don't have the displeasure of dealing with him. "By the way it must be nice having someone take initiative and make arrangements for you. I don’t remember the last time that happened to me. What’s it like?" I can only imagine...    
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Technoboy says

2014-04-15 01:52:00

Yureon, You should have been there when one of our former regulars got the 'what do you want to do' email from a man. She was the intelligent, attractive, ballsy, funny, successful, and choosy type - kind of like Colleen over here. And yet she panicked like a little girl when that happened. It was hilarious. I was cracking up on the inside. The moral of the story is that women still very much want a man to take charge. Which is even more important for the powerful and independent ones, because that means the man needs to have even more initiative and leadership than she does. As for the detail of men having to do all the work and what's the big deal: I think you are right, but only in the logical sense. By the way it must be nice having someone take initiative and make arrangements for you. I don't remember the last time that happened to me. What's it like?
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Bob says

2014-04-15 01:21:25

You are asking the wrong person, Peter...
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caroline says

2014-04-14 23:20:33

James...hilarious as ever:)
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caroline says

2014-04-14 23:15:47

to ya!  this blog fries your brain
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caroline says

2014-04-14 23:14:31

Well put Christina. I guess that is where the real disconnect lies between the sexes on this blog.It really makes me wonder what these guys are looking for at times  because most the stuff they ramble off comes from some belief they got from the pua industry.  Hey, if that's what you want, more power too ya.  I think most the ladies on here are looking for a real connection with a guy. Bob is right in that, bantering and putting her a little off guard is a good thing but I can't imagine a relationship ready woman putting up with that crap he thinks is funny.  I believe quite a few of the gals on here could stand toe to toe bantering with him. That is if they could get past his ego and pornstache...
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Laura N. says

2014-04-14 23:07:39

Oh, I am seeing a guy who appreciates it... thus proving that not all middle aged men want to date "purty young things..."
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caroline says

2014-04-14 22:56:09

Whew...and I was so worried you'd get pissy again. It is all just "entertainment and to help the boys, right?" :)
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Bob says

2014-04-14 22:37:01

Dang Colleen, You sure get around!  How many "real" cowboys have you know, anyway, up there in the wild west, New Hampshire?  Land of 1 cowboy (or is it up to 2 now)?  At least you admit I was "the man" once.  Damn fillies can kick  like a mule, sounds like...
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Bob says

2014-04-14 22:29:01

Funny!  Love a gal with a sense of deprecating humor. most of you girls here are top notch!  To bad you can't find a guy who appreciates it as much as I do.
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caroline says

2014-04-14 22:11:49

I bet she got paid extra to put up with those bullcrap jokes:)
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Bob says

2014-04-14 21:45:59

James, I actually used the "shoe leather" joke very effectively,  not long ago in FL,  along with a bunch of other statements that would probably shock you and some of the other guys.  I had been dating a nice young lady, and after a couple dates, while we were driving back to my place,  after  dinner,  bantering, laughing, and making conversation.  She asked if I had "been" with a lot of women? (As all  women  invariably  do at one time or another, in a reltationship) I laughed,  smiled, and  immediately said no, not many, why?  She laughed and said yea, right,  "I bet you have callouses on your "pee pee", you have had so many."  I smiled, laughed, and shot back, well, if they could figure out how to make shoes out of you guys vaginas, I'd patent it and be an instant billionaire!!  She laughed for five minutes, and the night only got better and better from then on.  So, you see James.  That is the whole point.  You guys quit being so damn polite, submissive, and subservient to women.   The "how many women" thing is always a shit test. They all give you a bunch of these "tests" to check your confidence, social skills, comfort being around women, and saying whatever you please.  They don't want some pussy, looking down, counting on his fingers, and shyly telling them "oh not many,   just two..."
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Pam says

2014-04-14 21:23:43

James, you crack me up!
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Yureon says

2014-04-14 21:18:52

"the first thing you need to learn is that women want men to make the first move." This is just a never ending conundrum... He MADE the First move, when he looked at the profile... He MADE the First move in sending an email. He MADE the First mover in exchanging or providing a number. He then MAKES the First move talking about getting together and a Date. Then MAKES the First move in taking them out... The ONLY thing she has to do in all of the situations is say YES or NO...and can decline at anytime and that would be that. This is a classic example of how men have to do all the work and women won't even budge a little bit.( she is going to let a potentially good guy go to waste JUST because he didn't dot an I?) Happens more than one would think. They might as well have no say in the matter either and just do as they are told (no wait that sounds controlling) but the point is they hardly participate in the interaction. He has been making moves throughout the whole exchange. They can't even come up and give him a call? Or at least say here is MY number CALL me (you know offer it first instead of pulling it like teeth?.)  "OK, my friend, you need some serious help. You have this ALL wrong, and until you change the way you’re doing things online, you’re never going to get a date." Total embellishment man. He doesn't need "Serious" help. He, by the looks of it needs a screwdriver tweak... and that tweak being (make all the moves and don't count on her budging a little. Oh, and don't ASK for the number, just GET it and don't give yours.) That's really it.   
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Laura N. says

2014-04-14 21:10:37

You are absolutely correct, Christina. I'm reading "Naked" (again) by David.  And it's reinforcing all the work and self exploration I did before I started dating again. You do have to be willing to open yourself up to being hurt in order to love and be loved.
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Colleen says

2014-04-14 20:45:25

Well said, Christina.
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Colleen says

2014-04-14 20:41:08

Not on your life, Peter.  I don't do players, whether real or self-proclaimed.  Although I have to say that if we were all to attend the same party, I'd get a kick out of watching him swagger around being "all that and a bag of chips".  What Bob represents is really something pitiable, as James stated; a guy who probably got his heart kicked in by some filly and hasn't had the cajones to get back up on the horse.  Instead he wears his under armour real tight and chases after low hanging fruit to convince himself that he's still the man.  I've got nothing against the guy, but I have to say his manners are not befitting an actual cowboy; most of whom I have found to be real gentlemen.
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christina says

2014-04-14 20:36:03

james... getting laid around town vs. making love and connecting with another person on a soul level.... very different self-development involved. getting laid, engaging a woman in banter and feeding her ego, is on p. 2 in any player book to get her to take off her panties. most of us who at some point in our lives have chosen the player life, is related to a time when we chose to disconnect from deeper feelings -- when we have been hurt deeply; and depending on whether we feel a need to connect on a deeper level that satisfies our soul, we may very well choose what we perceive as "the simple life". never exposing ourselves, never fearing hurt and rejection --- in the end wind up hurting us much deeper than risking rejection. getting laid is not rocket science, sorry to disappoint you, but yes, it is very simple actually, if that's all you want in life. the only thing that is complex is exposing your naked self and letting someone love you... in spite of you. and that's what most of us struggle with our entire life. yeayeahyeah, so i swallowed dr. freud in my morning coffee but regardless.
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Elizabeth says

2014-04-14 20:08:29

BWHAHAHAHAHA,  James...
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Peter says

2014-04-14 19:30:17

Colleen, if you are still on the blog, and just for the record: would you go out with Bob ?
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Hans says

2014-04-14 19:28:54

Hey, I'll give that 'purty' thing a try next time I am in the US. The 'tough as shoe leather' thing, well, I might skip that.
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James says

2014-04-14 19:24:01

A quick question for the ladies: imagine a grown up man would walk up to you and say 'hey you look purrrtttyyy', and subsequently ask you if it is true that a woman's vagina is as tough as shoe leather. Would you slap him in the face, kick him in the groin, do both, or call 9-1-1 ? I have been to many countries, and met many women, but none, really none, would fall for the crap Bob is trying to pull. Even here on the blog, there has yet to be ONE woman with more than one brain cell who feels anything but pity for the old, balding, chubby, self proclaimed cowboy. Seems to me the only thing he is pulling is that wrinkled worm between his legs, and it probably takes some hard pulling to make it move.
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Laura N. says

2014-04-14 14:43:55

Touche, Caroline!  
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Laura N. says

2014-04-14 14:40:41

Amen, Brad.  Online dating is hard...no matter which sex you are.  We all experience rejection or being ignored...it's part of the process. On OKC, I don't even pay attention to a man if he isn't at least an 80% match. At that point, we probably have enough in common to make a conversation worthwhile.  If he is a 90% match, I'll at least message him...even if it is just to say... "too bad you are too far away."  (I have 200 mile travel radius.   That's about a three hour drive from my hometown, and it includes a couple of large cities where I have friends...so it's easy enough for me to plan a weekend trip and visit with some friends and meet a "date.") You are right, Brad...the winks and "favorites" are like being yelled at by construction workers when you walk by a work site....
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caroline says

2014-04-14 13:48:56

Colleen, I really enjoyed your sparring match.  You definitely know how to" fight like a girl" :)
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James says

2014-04-14 10:38:13

Foreplay ? Are you serious ? Seems more like utter disbelief of the level some men operate at. In another blog, cowboy Bob claims that a woman's vagina is tough as shoe leather. I am going to use that the next time I am in hot pursuit of some tail, it seems to work !
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Technoboy says

2014-04-14 08:54:32

There are many reasons why a guy might get your number and not call. I did this exactly once to a girl. In my case, I got very sick, then had a vacation (part of the two overlapped). By the time I got back many weeks had elapsed so calling would have been awkward. You never know. Oh, and I just remembered her name. It was a unique and mellifluous one. You would have liked it.
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Technoboy says

2014-04-14 08:44:11

I did say the wiser ones pull the 'let me get your number' trick instead of giving out their number when they are not interested. And I tend to do much better with the wiser ones than with the young ones overall. I am in a transitional phase. Blocking numbers got a lot easier in iOS7 now that it is a feature of the operating system, lucky for you and your family. In iOS6 you would have to rely on the carrier, and AT&T did not have a number blocking feature at all! I would not recommend switching to Verizon just for the number blocking feature though because of their customer service. Wait, what were we talking about? Right, dating.
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caroline says

2014-04-14 08:11:44

Technoboy, I'm not trying to be prickly, the blaming the other sex remarks get me down a bit (not you:)  they have added up to crazy amounts across this blog).  I just know that the only person you can truly change is yourself.  If I thought that all men were like the guys on this site, I'd give up yesterday!:)  I personally know I'm the biggest problem in me finding a partner.
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christina says

2014-04-14 07:27:01

mmmh, mike - bob actually has the upper-hand in this interaction. when women really are truly not interested, we need not say it in any more than one sentence, nor will we ever feel the need to talk about how hard we are to get  - as any player knows, more than that and it's foreplay.
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caroline says

2014-04-14 07:19:09

And I believe every woman can attest to giving her number to a man, then never  call her.  Who knows why he didn't call, maybe changed his mind the next day, someone else came along that night and he contacted her, yada, yada, yada..it could be a million possible reasons.  who cares, it just means it wasn't meant to to be.  Now if you had a string of women giving you their number and then flaking on you, well you might have to look at the common denominator in the scenario...you. 
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caroline says

2014-04-14 07:02:20

@technoboy Respectfully, I would never give a man my number if I wasn't interested in him calling me.  I'm a grown up, I don't play silly games with men's feelings.  And it is not a fun task to block someone's number.  We had to block one of my son's past girlfriends from our family's phones and it was a real hassle.  We had to go to our carrier and actually pay for it.  In dating, at some point you have to trust yourself and others to connect. 
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Technoboy says

2014-04-14 05:58:20

You're a spunky one, Colleen. And funny, too. Intellect and sophistication. That one cracks me up. You forgot to add sense of humor and ambition though. Because that is what every woman wants if you ask her. If there were any truth to it though, I would be typing this with my feet since I would have a woman in each arm. You want a man whose mental jiu jitsu is stronger than yours, to be more clear. I enjoyed watching you and Bob toss each other around on this forum. Thanks for the entertainment :)
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Technoboy says

2014-04-14 05:19:34

One time I had her etch the digits onto my hands because I couldn't find anything to write on and wasn't smart enough to use the phone trick. Word of advice: make sure to confirm the number with her when you do that, especially if she has wacky loopy sixes. Otherwise you might have an awkward call or two before reaching the correct number. Hehe.
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Technoboy says

2014-04-14 04:59:58

"I’ve never worried too much about it since I knew I could block his number if I had to" Aha! That solves a long standing mystery. I had a phase where I collected numbers and was amazed at how quickly women give away their numbers. Their REAL numbers, to a guy they don't know and have no interest in meeting up with. Thanks for the insight, Caroline :). And welcome to the site. I have seen the older, wiser ones pull the 'actually let me get YOUR number' trick. It's a clever and crafty way to blow a guy off without exposing yourselves, ladies. Of course saying no would be effective too, in addition to being honest, bold,  and respectful of a guy's time. That's just the men's perspective on the issue.
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Bob says

2014-04-14 04:28:38

There was a point to the exchange,  Mike.  I was hoping some of the guys would recognize it. You never will, until you change your entire approach, and interactions  with women, which is based entirely on flattering, complementing, and agreeing.  Keep studying...
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Mike says

2014-04-14 03:54:00

Never seen Bob beg so much for a date, good job Colleen :) 
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Laura N. says

2014-04-14 03:03:49

Great blog, David.  You are spot on with this one.  Please  please please call her...  Usually when a guy gives met his number online, I always respond with mine.  If he calls or texts, then I know he is actually interested.  
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Bob says

2014-04-13 22:43:40

Damn, Got her writin' poetry to me, and playin' hard to git already.   Now I know she took a shine to me!  See ya soon, Darlin'.  I got a beach house that you can look at the moon without leaving the front door, case you might wanna git outta that rat race, northern wasteland.  You think of your cowboy ridin off into that sunset with ya, on my white horse, while you're watchin that moon come up!  Nice sparin' with ya.
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Colleen says

2014-04-13 22:16:15

bahahahaha!  Well, heck, if this isn't more fun than a room full of old white Republican men, then I don't know what is.  A sputtering cowboy, and a  peanut gallery of Germans and myriad other on-lookers.  Think I'm gonna take a breather from all of the excitement and take a walk on my beach here on Narragansett Bay.  Maybe watch some sailboats floating by the rising full moon, and the sparkling diamond lights of the Newport Bridge.  Peace out, boys.  As we say here in Yankee land, it's been a pleashah!
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Bob says

2014-04-13 21:54:48

Well, Damn, Darlin.   ain't you a spunky one?  I might just be in love... I like ya mor'en ever now.  What else ya got?  Just keep your mouth shut (or at least don't talk, ifin ya know what I mean).  I don't cotton to ya'lls weird way a talking from up there in Northern  Yankee country.  You jess walk long sidea me and look purrrty,   en let me do all the thinkin, so ya don't strain your pretty little head,  and I might just cotton to ya and keep ya along for the ride for a  bit.
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Colleen says

2014-04-13 21:40:15

Someone's getting their chaps all in a twist.  Never make assumptions, sweet pea; you know what they say about that.  You may wrangle calves; I wrangle northeastern smarty-pants Progressives and leave them with whiplash, business suits and all.   I guarantee you've never met any woman with my particular combo of grit, feistiness, class, and sass.  But heck, I'm just a lil NH tea party girl.  You're probably right.
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john says

2014-04-13 21:26:23

Lmao. 
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Hans says

2014-04-13 21:26:13

Way to go, Bob ! Show us how you get her hot for you ! When you are done, tell us how it all went down. I can already tell she loves you !
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Bob says

2014-04-13 20:52:18

You could use the biggest 10 dollar words your fancy pants mind can think of, ying and yang all day long, and you would still be just another pretty gal to me, like all the rest.  I have found that the smartest, educated, most successful, well dressed,   fancy dressed women, are the easiest of all for me to attract.    In fact, they usually come after me, or wave me over, with big old shit eatin' grins,  when I'm out. decked out in cowboy boots, Buckle, Hat and swaggering  around them (They always tell me I walk with a "swagger", which I guess is a good thing).    And about since I'm usually the only "real" man,  in a building  full of straight  suited,  and tied men, yakking about  the stock market,  their business deals, promotions, and self absorbed BS, I am told what a "breath of fresh air" I am, time and again. So, no sweetie, you or no woman, no matter how fancy pants you are, are ever "out of my league, and there isn't a woman alive that "intimidates" me.  Sorry Doll...
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Colleen says

2014-04-13 20:04:21

Well, if that ain't just about the most charming pseudo-proposition a girl ever heard, Bob.  That's kinda cute.  The thing is, I discovered rather quickly that players are intimidated by women who are the equal yin to his yang, or who are just plain out of his league, instead preferring purty low-hanging fruit.   Oh, btw, I don't go for whirls.  Unless it's in an F-18.    
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Brad says

2014-04-13 19:44:40

I was a woman once, on OKCupid. As a matter of fact, I still am...I would agree that women really don't have it much easier than guys when it comes to online dating. Sure, they get emails and winks, but that is just basic biology. Most guys don't seem to read profiles, they only look at the pictures, and they respond even if they are completely incompatible. It is the equivalent of 20 year old college girls being stared at by 50 year old creepers.
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Hans says

2014-04-13 19:31:31

Julie ! Please never die ! And you are dam right: don't share anything with a guy until you know he is loaded !
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Bob says

2014-04-13 19:25:04

As most of you know by now. I sold part of my ranch in OK, so heading to FL beaches full time, at least for now.  Packing is hard work!  I hate it, so reading the blog and catching up on emails from all my crying babes, calling wanting to go with me, in between.  ;)  Well, Colleen, you do look right purrttyy.  I might take you for a whirl some time, if given the chance.  I bet that air jockey was the most fun you had in a long time.  I would wager you find yourself remembering back, and smiling time to time.  Well, at least if he was anything like me,  you would... And I'd have your number after the first contact. No question about it darlin'.  Sweet dreams about your flying player.
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Colleen says

2014-04-13 19:12:15

David is correct; woman are pummeled with emails and likes and honks and toots and waves. It's like standing in front of a tennis ball machine gone mad.  If you are the one guy that gets the response, then be a man and take charge.  I'll give my number out after a couple of substantive emails, which give me a sense of the guy's level of intellect and sophistication as well as potential compatibility. Bob cracks me up.  I dated a Bob once.  Reminds me of the movie "Snakes on a Plane".  Only difference was that he was a pilot, not a cowboy.  Hey, no offense Bob.  Live Free or Die, babe.      
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julie says

2014-04-13 17:43:04

I only respond to the tallest, richest, best looking men online. I am very hot. I deserve only the best. I demand to see notorized financial statements, pictures of his house, his cars, and purchase records and documentation proving they are his, before I would even think about sharing my contact information.  The last thing I want is to get stuck speaking to another ugly loser. I deserve better than that.
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Caroline says

2014-04-13 12:51:09

I think when each of you has a smartphone, you can definitely use the double blind email system (on match-free sites may not have this capability) to inform each other. I've only had my iPhone for a short time before that I had one of those disposable phones where you can't email. I have used the number blocking feature when I've talked with men online and I think that is wise. I've had numerous men who have had to travel over an hour to meet, so I think it would very insensitive to not give them my number just in case. That being said I have personally been stood up on first meets more than once! The men might be asking for a number to avoid the chance if women flaking on them. I certainly don't have all the answers on this
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John says

2014-04-13 12:10:06

Ok, well maybe I'm wrong about that. I have only gotten a few responses from women online, and every time I emailed them and asked for their number, they always said "No". When I asked why, they always told me because they don't know me well enough, and they don't give their number to strangers. Maybe it was just because it was me, and women just have zero interest in me.
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Hans says

2014-04-13 10:40:46

Only Bob is going to get that number, every single time. How he does it...but he does !
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Hans says

2014-04-13 10:02:30

I miss Julie ! Can't you just revive her, like the Bride of Frankenstein ?
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Bob says

2014-04-13 03:46:34

I always ask them for their number, after the FIRST  response from an email I send them. I have never emailed a woman more than twice and not got a number.  That is a waste of time for me.  I want to hear her voice and see if she can hold a real conversation.  Never had one turn me down for it yet.  Women want to talk to the man that they may be interested in, to hear his voice and see if he can hold an interesting conversation.  I have talked to half a dozen women in one night.  It really is no big deal to get a number.  Also, I have never been on a first date with a woman, without knowing her phone number.  They really aren't that "secretive" about giving out their numbers.  I did have a couple say, "I'll call you, what is your number" and even told me to answer my phone, because it would say "caller blocked" because they wanted to talk to me first, before giving me their number.  But, that is very rare, at least for me...
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John says

2014-04-13 01:25:04

Again, like I said..  Take back the "vapid" remark, and I'll gladly take back the "ugly old dogface" comment.  :)  
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Caroline says

2014-04-13 00:29:39

Oh and I'm sorry I directed my response to you John. What I meant to say was "woof, woof".
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Caroline says

2014-04-13 00:15:35

I get it John. I've never worried too much about it since I knew I could block his number if I had to. but I guess meeting in person will serve as an extra layer if protection. Being that you can usually get a good gut feeling on a person 
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john says

2014-04-12 21:36:09

And, just to further my point... "JULIE" was ME people! I created a person out of thin air online, inless than five minutes. That perfect guy you meet online could be ANYBODY. Fake name, fake pictures, fake stats, 100% FABRICATED. You have NO IDEA who you are giving your personal contact info to. It's a BAD IDEA. Again, I back up my statement that online dating is a complete WASTE OF TIME.
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john says

2014-04-12 21:28:30

I agree 100% about the live, or "at a party" example. But online? No. Bullshit advice.  No woman with a lick of sense is going to give her phone number to a random guy online who she has never met. (And until you have met her in person, you are just that.. a RANDOM guy.) Any woman who does is either stupid, or really desperate. I call bullshit.
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James says

2014-04-11 19:12:19

Great blog ! You need to be the man with a plan, and that not only holds true for dating, but for all other aspects of life as well. I have found that every time you make a plan, things work out. NO plan always results in NO result.
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Yureon says

2014-04-11 17:11:12

The number 1 mistake... Being a man on those sites.  
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Caroline says

2014-04-11 16:57:39

And one of the best ways to get her number when you've met in person is to give her your phone and let her type it in saying "I want to get the correct spelling". online , one if the best ways, in my opinion, is what a lot of guys do. They set a meetup for coffee or a drink and when you confirm before the date ( usually an email through the online system, you ask to trade numbers (giving yours in the email) and tell her just in case a last minute emergency comes up:). That way you already have her number and don't have to go through the awkwardness.
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Caroline says

2014-04-11 16:41:33

David this is A great blog!  I've had several men give me their business card when I'm out and about. What I do is take it, pull a pen out if my purse and write my first name with my number and hand it back to him with a smile. 
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