Diversify Your Dating Life By David Wygant
I got a message from a woman tonight who told me, “I just wish I could be able to tell from a guy’s online profile whether or not we’ll have chemistry. There must be a simple way to be able to read a profile and know if we’re going to get along?”
Let me tell you something: profiles lie. People write the most ridiculous things in their profiles – I think of online profiles as Fantasyland half of the time.
It’s like an advertisement for a new weight loss pill: “lose 300 pounds in two minutes!” In their online profiles, everybody seems to write things that express who they want to be and not who they really are.
For instance, if someone is in his or her late forties, they always write, “I’m 48, but I’m a young 48. I don’t look like I’m 48.” Nobody thinks that they look like their age. You either look good for your age, or you don’t.
I’m 46 years old, and I look good for my age. I know people who are my age that don’t – and they admit it. Some of us look good for our age, and some of us don’t. It’s the way life is. The way we are depends on the way we take care of ourselves – our exercise routines, our genes, everything.
So stop building yourself up on your profile. Let the reader make a decision based on your photo about if you look good for your age. When you build yourself up like this, you’re setting yourself up for failure. If you say, “I really look great for my age,” and somebody upon seeing your photo disagrees, then you will take it as a personal insult.
Profiles are just fantasy – and often nothing more. People write whatever they want to write. They don’t tell you the truth! If someone is slightly overweight, they aren’t going to tell you that in their profile! They will give you this beautiful picture of who they are.
We’re people, and we all have our faults. We all have flaws. And the only way to find that out is to go out and meet people. If you took the amount of time you spend online dating and actually went out into the real world to talk to people, you wouldn’t go back to spending so much time with online dating.
You can’t make one thing your only resource. You need to do what I call the ’20-20-20-20-20 rule.’ 20% of your life can be online dating, 20% can be meeting men or women in supermarkets, 20% can be meeting them in coffee shops, 20% can be parties… whatever it is.
You have to diversify your portfolio – your dating and people meeting portfolio. If this year, all you invested in was the S & P 500, you’d be down about 20% in the stock market right now.
If you bought real estate in 2005 thinking the market would get better, you’d be down about 40% – 80% right now, depending on the market that you’re in. Life is all about diversification.
The next time that you are angry with the internet, or angry with people in their online dating profiles, ask yourself: are you diversified in the way you meet people? If you’re not, you are never going to meet anybody.
So get out there and diversify!
Today lets spend our Sunday talking about nice guys.
Are you a nice guy that always seems to be in the friend zone.
Todays podcast will open your eyes to say the least.
Have a great Sunday.
David, once again, good blog! that’s why I don’t do online dating!
Your podcast was even better
It made me think, though.. You guys were talking about nice guys, and how they(you used to) go through such lengths just to please the girl! I was thinking; what do you think about women? Have you talked to women and how there are “nice women” and “bad women”? I mean, I would feel pretty guilty over letting a guy drive me for miles.. I couldn’t even accept such an offer! Seems to me that “nice women” fall for “bad guys” and “nice guys” like “bad women”.. No?
haha, i just came to think of how i used to be in junior high school; i would help ANY guy that would ask me… i made drawings for their projects, help them with homework.. now i realize why everyone would just run all over me :p
Patrick, David, that was funny xD
JustYou, that’s so sweet it’s like caramel fudge. Unhealthily sweet
I know where you’re coming from, oh I got mine to share, but let me answer your question first.
I never think in terms of ‘nice women’ and ‘bad women’.
There are a few women who act bitchy – sometimes because she’s troubled, sometimes because you’re being a wimp, sometimes because that’s just what she is like.
There are also women who make me think… EXCITE ME! – all you do is corrode my teeth! Don’t get me wrong, I looove sweet women. But if she’s living a goody-goody two-shoe life with only sweetness and compassion in it, she could use an attractive bit of dancing, acting crazy, and being a sassy wise-ass. (I can’t STAND it if she gets excited like a maniac yet still can’t throw back a single dirty word argh >.<)
So yeah, sometimes a man meets someone who is too rude or spiceless for him.
But otherwise, there are just Women
With no prefix
Ok ‘nice guy story’ that’s easy…….
Man I was a nice guy in elementary school. Can you imagine, the sweetest kid crazily liking the bitchiest little girl and going out of his way… Lol. She wanted to wear my watch. Then I’d make her a CD. In fact, I rode to her house four times before I caught her home so that I could HAND IT TO HER. Can you say silver platter.
I still haven’t had any horrible online dates or met anyone that didn’t look like his pic. They usually look better than the pic because guys don’t know how to pose. Am I just lucky? Is there anyone else here who has had a good experience with online dating?
I do agree it should not be the only place to meet people. I started marathon training. I show up for early morning training runs (6:30 am – yuck!) with no makeup, maybe combed my hair because I literally just rolled out of bed and I’m meeting more guys this way than when I get all dressed up. Explain that one to me. I don’t get it.
Hehe, Pete.. yea, those days were sweet, until I discovered I was being waayyy tooo nice!
I see what you mean, but I tend to think that way about guys as well.. I told this guy I know, that I don’t think of people as “bad” or “nice”, but as people with feelings… I go deeper than that, because I’ve changed so much myself..
Guess I think of men the way you think of women
But I am also aware that there are some REAL bad boys out there (used to be with one) and so changes coming their way is with more difficulties than let’s say… with people that are more open to change themselves 
Hmm, Jen, I’ve heard that men find women running VERY sexy! I go jogging myself, and experienced more attention because of that
i’m 6′2 and make 250k+ a year on my online dating profile!
hey i was just joking about how all online profiles are lies, but honestly great blog, i learned that this not only applies to dating but everything i do in life with the 20-20-20-20-20 rule, because life is all about learning and gaining from every aspect of things.
Diversity is key in meeting people because it makes you the selector, which makes you less worried or nervous about any one girl, which make every girl more attracted to you. Then you can get the one you want!! Its hard to get there but worth the effort!
“..a womans not going to go, ‘F** me now, Mr. Nice Guy”
Hahah
Yeah, people with feelings.
And hobbies. Running perhaps! :p