emotionally openI don’t know why, but I just felt like writing this today. As I was driving around Los Angeles on a Sunday afternoon, about the only time you can drive around Los Angeles because there’s not a brutal amount of traffic, I realized…

I am really emotionally blocked. It’s been so long since I’ve had a good cry. I don’t even remember what it feels like. Now don’t get me wrong, I will tear up in my eye sometimes when I meditate. My guided meditation teacher will say, “Think of something beautiful in your life,” and I’ll think of my sweet, precious daughter and tears will come in my eye. That’s the extent of it.

Sometimes when I watch a movie, I’ll tear up for a second but no more than that. I see beautiful things all the time. I feel things emotionally. I love my friends and I love the people in my life, but expressing emotions, goddamn is it a challenge for me. I’m great at helping all of you express emotions, but for me it’s something I’m still working on.

As I drove around, it started to sink in, I’m emotionally blocked. There are times I’m lonely. There are times I wish I could just express myself better. I can express certain emotions, like anger, frustration, because those are emotions I used to see in my mom all the time. My mom was always angry and frustrated that her life wasn’t how she thought it should be for her.

So I always saw her angry and frustrated, taking her moods out on her kids, and other people. I do vent and dump on people sometimes, we all do. I shouldn’t do it but sometimes I do. On my birthday recently, the thing I told myself I’d really work on this year was becoming more of an emotional person.

The other night, I was invited to a private concert of Jason Mraz. What impressed me the most about Jason Mraz was his ability to express his emotions. His songs are great, but it’s what he says between the songs that got me. It was a private little concert for about 40 people in Santa Monica, for a friend’s birthday.

What he was able to express in his words between the songs really inspired me, and made me realize how beautiful it is to watch a man express his emotions. I mean he is a singer songwriter, and he has deep dues, but it inspired me to strive to express myself even more.

Right now, I appreciate your reading this. It’s important that my readers know that I’m a human being, not just this guru that dispenses dating advice. Life isn’t perfect. Nobody’s life is perfect. Everybody needs work on something in their lives.

That means like you, I have things to work on. As I enter another year of my life, I realize I want to learn to express myself better emotionally. I have so many beautiful things in my life. I want to feel more. I want to stop being so afraid of the feeling and I want to start to feel. I love all of you for listening. Thank you.