I’ve always been one of the horniest guys I’ve ever met.

I basically started having sex at 18 and a half, and didn’t stop ever.

My longest stretch ever of not having sex happened to have been this year, 2016. It was about nine months.

Nine months and I didn’t really miss it at all.

I love sex, but I’m going to explain to you why sex is really, really annoying at times.

1. I don’t need it three times in 12 hours anymore.

What I find beautiful in women now is that they are so into pleasing me as a man, and I really love that. They want to blow me.

They want to have sex.

They want me to cum a lot.

But what they don’t realize is that my 54 year old penis, my 54 year old testosterone, and my 54 year old balls don’t really want to cum three times in 12 years.

It’s physically exhausting to me.

I know some of you are thinking right now, well, he must have low testosterone.

I actually don’t. My testosterone levels are pretty high.

I just don’t want to cum three times in 12 years anymore. I don’t need sex three times a day. And I think to myself:

2. Where were you when I needed you?

Oh my god, you beautiful, loving, amazing woman that wants to please me nonstop that’s so turned on to me that can’t get enough of having me inside her, can’t get enough of touching me, can’t get enough of sucking me, I am so happy that I met you. You’re like a dream come true for the 24 year old in me.

When I was 24 years old, all I wanted to do is have sex, Saturday, Sunday, all day, all night, five, six, seven times. I was ready to pump away. I was ready to have sex. I could have sex six, seven hours a day when I was 24 and 25, even 34 and 35, even 40, 41, 42.

But right now, my 54 year old penis, and 54 year old balls, and 54 year old body does not crave sex three times in 12 years.

Where were you when I needed you?

Where were you when I got all those great erections, when I was in my 20s and I was pressing up against you and you’d look at me and go, can you stop doing that I need to go to sleep. What a sick role reversal life has become. Which leads us to number three:

It’s a fucking role reversal.

It’s the biggest comedy in nature.

As men age, we want sex less. As women age, they go into their sexual prime. They don’t want to have sex with the young guys for a long period of time because the young guys can’t equal their emotional needs, or their emotional desires. So they’re stuck with our old broken down penis.

Our plumbing that no longer desires it as much as them, and they’ve got to then go and do what?

Accept it.

3. I don’t need my penis to be touched that often.

I love sex, don’t get me wrong, I think it’s fucking great. I think it’s one of the best things in the world. I could still eat pussy for three, four hours a day. I love pleasing, but my god, leave my penis alone.

Once a day I can have sex, probably five days a week and I’m fine. But on those other two days, I allow myself to get back into my body, build back up my chi, make my orgasms get stronger because to be honest with you:

When I’m on my third time cumming in 12 hours, it’s like the water fountain at a park. You know those water fountains that just spit the water slowly over the side and there’s just no force to it. And you think to yourself, there’s no way in the world I’m going to put my lips down on that thing and drink from that.

Well, that’s what a woman does when she goes down on me. She’s drinking from a broken down water fountain that needs to be fixed because the plumbing is exhausted.

I’m so appreciative of beautiful women. So appreciative that they have a great sex drive for me, so appreciative that they want to have sex with me on a regular basis.

But I need a break. I’m exhausted the next day when I’ve had sex three times. I don’t feel like I used to feel. I don’t feel empowered. I don’t feel fantastic. I just feel, like, tired.

There are other ways to express love and other ways to express passion. It’s amazing how the roles have reversed. And I try my best to please my woman as best as possible. But sometimes my balls, my penis, they need a break.