You own a pair of Nikes. why you should not date a married man

If not, do you own a pair of New Balance?

Because what I’d like you to do is, put this article down. I want you to go to your closet, take off your heels, put on your Nikes.

And then when you’re done reading the rest of this, I want you to go for a nice long run. In the opposite direction that this man is.

I can tell you if you’re dating a married man, it’s going to go nowhere the majority of time. You see, if he wanted to leave his wife, he would have left her already. I’m sure you’ve heard all the excuses, I’m sure you’ve heard it all – he’s waiting until little Suzie gets out of high school. It’s only going to be another three years.

I’m waiting for Jim to go to 6th grade and go to middle school, it’s just going to be easier that way.

My ex — my wife is going through some really hard times right now and, I just don’t want to leave her yet but I promise I will.

Oh, I can list them all day. The married man excuses.

You see, if he was going to leave her he already would.

When you’re in love with somebody you’ll do anything – I know I will – to be with that person.

And, a married man is basically using you for the things that he’s not getting in his relationship.

Whether it’s sex, companionship, friendship, whatever it might be. He’s got the best of both worlds. He gets to go home and play suburban dad, city dad, and then –

He gets to be with his lover, which is sanity for a lot of guys.

So why do so many women date married men?

You see, you don’t ever, ever, have to really grow in that relationship. You take the tidbits and the breadcrumbs that he gives you, you’re perfectly safe in that. You know deep down it probably will never go anywhere so you don’t need to get fully vulnerable.

Somewhere in your mind you say to yourself, “Well eventually it’s going to fizzle out.”

And, plain and simple, you honestly feel like you don’t deserve any better.

So it’s the perfect relationship for you. You don’t deserve any better because of your programming, you don’t think that there’s a man out there that you can be with because you’re really too afraid to let go and be emotional in front of a real guy – a guy who could eventually show up for you. So it works both ways.

So remember those sneakers that I told you about? The Nikes or the New Balance? I hope you have them laced up, because for those of you who have the illusion that this married man is going to turn into a long term relationship – and no matter how many times you’ve had discussions about what you want – I strongly suggest you put these sneakers on and run in the opposite direction. Run for the hills. Tell him you deserve better.

And for those of you that have intimacy issues, it’s time to really look and see why you’ve wasted so many years.  I strongly suggest you book a coaching session with me and we can go over them.

I strongly suggest you get some help, because you’re missing out on true love.  You’re basically allowing yourself to be somebody else’s scraps, literally. What do you want?  Do you want to wear a pair of running shoes and see the truth, or do you want to continue to be scraps?  I strongly suggest the Nikes or the New Balance and a good long run this afternoon.