The other night I was out at an art gallery opening in Venice.

It was a mixed group of people. There were men and women there, older people, younger people. It was the perfect social thing.

What did the majority of women do when they were in that art gallery opening? They hung out in their protective barriers. You know that clique that women like to be in. They love to be in that little protective clique. I call it the virtual iPhone.

You see, you’re in this clique.

You’re hanging out with your friends. You’re hanging out like you’re in an NFL football huddle.

So close to one another. There’s nothing you’re doing that’s separating you from your friends. It’s going to take a really aggressive confident male to go over there and break through that, which most guys aren’t.

So what is a guy to do? Usually in that situation, guys will go outside and wait for you leave, or they’ll stand by the bathroom and hope you’ll break. I mean, you are 40, you kind of break away from your friends at times, you’re not a sorority sister.

Trying to Catch You Alone

So men will stand outside or they’ll stand by the bathroom. But, then another problem comes once a woman is alone, broken from the protective barrier, from the pack.

She freaks out. See, my friends Abe, Zack and I were standing outside, it was misting out, it was a cool Venice night, just a cool Venice night. And I was teaching young Zack, a 28-year-old guy that really should be a stud and will be a stud, some of the rules of life.

I said to him, “Watch what the women do when they break away from their friends.” The minute the women had to walk out by themselves, all hell broke loose.

how to meet menHere are three good looking guys.

Standing there.

All above six feet tall.

And what do we do when the first one walks out?

She walks out and immediately she sees me. I look at her and I say hello. That’s right, a very simple thing to say. But women are only craving that. That simple hello. They don’t want a fancy pickup line. Saying hello with a big smile.

My friend Abe smiles, Zack smiles. Three very nice guys, standing outside in the misty rain. Sounds a little serendipitous and romantic. Met under the mist of a March rainy night in Venice, California.

What did she do? She grabbed her clique – her phone – stared at it, and in the best way she possibly could, she sprinted down the street.

Zack looked at me and said, “What is a man to do in that situation?”

And I said, “You can say one thing: Stop.”

I’m not done flirting with you yet. This is our magic moment. Our opportunity.

Two old women walked out five minutes later. We said something to them. One of them was running so fast, you’d think that she was running the marathon at night. The other one didn’t know what to do. She started blabbing out words and tiring herself out, and saying she had art consigned, and she was this and that, and not one sentence made sense at all. She literally was babbling words, and I looked at Abe and he said, “Wow, this is why guys are intimidated by women.” She couldn’t even form a complete sentence she was so nervous.

And then she ran away into the night.

The next one came out.

And she was being dragged by the friendzone.

That guy who will always be just a friend.

He was the only one who catered to her all night. I watched their dynamic. He’s thinking maybe tonight is the night that I get out of the friendzone.

I looked at her and said, “Hey, what are you doing?”

She stopped dead in her tracks. She was like “Hey, hi,” big smile on her face. Her manbeard, or her friendzone guy, kept pulling her away, and she kept pulling back. It was really like a dog, when you have a dog with a rope, and there’s that tug of war going on; his arm became that rope.

She wanted to stay.

I looked at Zach and I said to him, “It’s a numbers game. Every one of these women wants to meet a great guy. Every one of them spends so much time hanging out, wanting to have that magic moment. Unfortunately, they don’t.”

It’s Time to Put Down the Phone and Meet Men

Here’s the deal. You want to meet somebody, but you’re acting like a sorority sister and hanging out in a pack. That’s not what you should be doing if you want men to approach and pursue you.

Stop looking down at the ground. That serendipitous moment when the man that you want to be with is standing right in front of you can happen.

Stop complaining that there are no good men out there when men are trying to talk to you, trying to say just about anything. And just look up. Your phone is not interesting. As a matter of fact, it’s the anti-social device. You love to just go and protect yourself behind that firewall called Tinder.

The women that I saw that went out, probably went home that night and looked at Tinder and Bumble, and started Swipe behind the safety of a firewall.

We’ve become hidden behind our firewalls, because we feel like firewalls will protect us. But in reality, the men that you’re looking for are there, waiting by the bathroom, waiting outside. Waiting for you to break away from the firewall so you can go have a conversation with them. Open your eyes. You need to bring down the firewall if you want to see a change in your dating life.