The other day a friend of mine showed me his Bumble account.

This is the app where women contact men first.

You know how I feel about that. I think men have been pussified so much, and now women are having to contact them first. I find that wrong, but anyway, that’s the way of the modern world.

The guy was flirting with this woman on Bumble, and he showed it to me. He said David, this happens all the time.

He said, women don’t ask questions at all.

I said, what do you mean they don’t ask questions?

They don’t how to flirt. He said. I asked what she was doing today. What’s going on in your world?

She listed a few things that were going on in her world. And that’s it. No curiosity about who the guy was – the man that she had chosen. By swiping right she was saying, “You, I’m attracted to you and I’m interested in you.”

But then, nothing. Just responses to his questions. No witty banter, no flirting back and forth.

All he got back was a cool response. No questions or curiosity and no place for him to go. The attraction he felt officially died.

It’s amazing how many women don’t know how to flirt.Flirting

The biggest attraction killer is the one word response. This one really gets me. You’re telling the man that you absolutely don’t give a shit about him. If you’re going to give one word responses you should not be online, or swiping because you’re really just going through the motions.

You’re going through the motions just so you can complain to your friends how there are no good guys out there. Or worse, you just want to share Tinder or Bumble stories. Stop wasting your time.

If you really want to meet a man, a great man to have in your life, you have to engage. You have to reveal a little about yourself and be willing to be vulnerable. That’s what men find attractive, vulnerability.

Flirting is asking questions. When somebody gives you information, you need to ask them a question back. It’s the only way to flirt. But so many people don’t do that.

So many conversations die on the vine. So many conversations go nowhere at all when they could be a lot better, a lot more open, a lot more interesting.

We have so many of these one and done conversations with people online. I really believe that we need to start becoming more open with each other. Connecting with each other. Meeting each other. Talking to each other. Asking questions of each other.

The number one flirting mistake most people make is that they don’t do anything with the information they receive. You can have so much fun with any information you get. Tease somebody, make fun of them, find out more about them or future pace them. Whatever.

These swipe conversations die on the vine because they get no love, they get no attention. If you want them to grow into something, you have to water them a little. It doesn’t take a lot.

Talk to them like you’ve never talked to them before and you know nothing about them. Ask questions. Be inquisitive. The more inquisitive you are, the better your connection is going to be. If you have to ask “what do you do” go ahead but try to come up with something more personal like…

What’s your favorite thing to do on a Sunday?

What was the best vacation you ever had?


Be fun. Be flirtatious. Ask questions.