peaceful relationshipsWe hear the term a lot in life, “I just want peace.” You might be going through a tumultuous time in your life where things aren’t going the way you want. Maybe you’re having issues at home, issues in your relationship, or issues at work. You’re in ‘fight or flight’ mode. Whenever you’re going through a non-peaceful time in your life, it’s a time when things don’t feel good.  You have that anxious feeling crawling through your body. If you’re in a relationship, you go home and think to yourself, “God, I hope for a peaceful night tonight.” 

 You go home in fear of what’s going to happen, of the conversation that may arise, of the fight that might be coming. You think to yourself, “If we could only get back to the peaceful time, to a peaceful place.

Do you desire peace… do you want to live a peaceful life? Sounds great, doesn’t it?

It sounds boring to me. It also sounds unsatisfying. To me, people who crave peace live in fear. Think about the term peace. Two countries have been fighting for the last seven years. They crave peace. Finally, there’s an agreement. Now they’re living side-by-side with a peace agreement going on.  If you think about it, the peace agreement is a bunch of bullshit. Both countries fear the hell out of each other and they only have a peace agreement to really to what?

To live side-by-side. They’re not living side-by-side in harmony. They still fear one another. They’re not living as friends. They’re not in love, because they fear having a conversation. They know if they have a real conversation the peace is going to be over.


The way they were was not peaceful.  They were hiding in fear.  If you get to a point in a romantic relationship or a work relationship where you’re actually craving peace, you’re scared of letting go, scared of taking that relationship to the next level, scared of allowing love to come into your life with somebody else.

Peace is bullshit.  Peace is hiding behind your fear. I don’t desire a peaceful relationship.  I desire a loving relationship.  If I’m at a peaceful part of my relationship it means I’m not tackling the inner questions, and not going deep enough. It means that I’m afraid to face my fears.

I look back at my relationship history, and I was craving a peaceful moment in that relationship it was because we were having a rough time and not able to work through it. But in reality, I was fearing what was staring me in the face. A relationship that was crumbling, a relationship that no longer worked. I was craving was a peaceful moment so it would put off the inevitable. Peaceful because I was afraid to confront what I really wanted.

To desire peace means we don’t desire love, because love comes with a price.  Love comes working through the peace and getting to a solution. The solution is having a hard conversation. Having a conversation and saying things that are difficult for you. Challenge yourself to communicate on a higher level and not just wanting a peaceful outcome. I want to be able to communicate what I want and not worry about what the other person thinks.


I’m not worried if I’m going to rock the boat. I’m not worried about disturbing the peace. I’m trying to vibrate at a higher level. To me, love is all we have. Peace, to me, is boring. It means I’m compromising. It means I’m not allowing myself to go further. It means I’m accepting the crap that someone is giving me and hoping we can get through it.


Peace is like co-dependency. But to have love… to step inside the circle of love is to step deep inside your own love and to stand up for you are. To explain to someone what you want and to let go. That is not peaceful at all. That is amazing. Because you’re no longer living in fear, you’re no longer afraid of what to say, you’re no longer afraid of your emotions, you’re no longer afraid of being vulnerable.


You’re standing up for yourself and you desire compromise. Peace is compromise. The next time you desire peace in your relationship, look in the mirror and ask yourself…are you desiring peace because you’re too afraid to confront your real feelings?


Too afraid to communicate to the other person what you need, want, and desire? Too afraid to walk out of a relationship that no longer serves you and no longer good for you.


Peace sucks. Fight for love. It’s worth it.  Especially when you find someone special!