What is the true definition of picking up a woman?
Well obviously, if you Google it or if you actually look up what the term “pick up” really means, it literally is putting her up over your head and doing bench presses with her. Unfortunately, some of us like women that are a little more round and a little more big and curvy, so that could be quite a workout.
Let’s really talk about what pick up means to men. What most men look at when they look at “pick-ups” is the end result. They want to get the phone number. So when they approach a woman, all they’re thinking about is the initial approach: what sets, some type of routine, something that will get her attention, and then immediately, they focus in on the outcome. They want to get her number.
And what a pick up artist will do is go over to a woman and say something that they think is funny or pre-planned. The woman will say something while the man won’t really listen and then he’ll want to close as quickly as possible. Why? Because most guys that use a routine are not good conversationalists.
They don’t have the conversation skills in order to really intrigue her; in order to really connect with her so then she wants to give you the phone number all on her own. She wants to go out; she wants to date; she wants to sleep with you and who knows what else. Most pick up artists are very outcome driven. They will look at a woman and they’ll basically look at think, “I really want her. I want to go out with her, I want to get her number.”
Outcome driven, outcome driven, insanity.
How do you even know that you like this girl? So you like the way she looks. Who cares? There are so many women that look great. Let’s forget about that, okay. That is on such a superficial level it’s ridiculous. How do you know you even like what she has to say, what her beliefs are, her feelings are, or how she’s going to treat you? You don’t know that and you’re not going to find that out if you walk over there with a pick up in mind. If you walk over there with some routine-based opener, not really listening to what she has to say and then trying to close her as quickly as possible.
It’s funny how many guys will always tell me, “If I can just get the phone number I’ll be great on a date.” And I look at them, I say, “No, you won’t because in order to get the phone number you’ve got to connect. In order to connect with a woman you’ve got to talk to her about what’s going on in the moment. In order to reconnect, you’ve got to listen to her so you’re able to get inside her world. So you’re able to intrigue her, turn her on, and create real attraction.”
I want you guys today to really think about what pick-up really means to you. How many of you are really routine-based? I want you to put together a chart of every time you approach a woman. How often are you successful? Take a look at the numbers. Take a look at your success ratio.
90% of the time, when I go over and I talk to somebody, I relate to them well. I relate to what she’s feeling, what she’s doing and I listen and I talk. We usually have good conversations. I’m 100% successful in opening up anybody I talk to. 90% of the people talk back and have a conversation. Only about 20% to 30% of them I’m interested in. I have so many opportunities that I’m able to attract the two to three out of every 10 that I’m interested in. I’m constantly connecting, constantly talking, constantly working on my communications skills with people.
It’s the only way to meet women. Pick-up doesn’t work, and I’ll prove it every day of the week.