Do I believe in love? Absolutely.
Do I believe in partnership? Absolutely.
Do I believe in relationships? Absolutely.
Do I believe in life partners? Absolutely.
But I do not think marriage is anything that is really needed anymore.
Every day divorce court is filled with people who’ve said I don’t want to be with that person anymore.
Every day someone hires a lawyer and wants money from somebody that they think they deserve money from (but they don’t).
Every day a lawyer makes promises to somebody that they are going to get a large payout, but the only one that ends up getting a large payout is the lawyer.
And the payouts keep coming. 60% of marriages end up in divorce.
And I’d say probably 30% more are most likely just people tolerating one another because they financially depend on one another. Either the man or the woman doesn’t want to get screwed over by a greedy spouse who thinks they deserve everything.
Now, if you’re thinking I’m writing this as a bitter divorcee, well really I’m not bitter at all.
I’ve been married a bunch of times and to tell you the truth, they were all lessons I needed to learn.
They were all opportunities to get to know somebody, but I could have avoided every single one of them if I knew what I know now.
That’s why I needed the lessons in the first place.
What Marriage Actually Is
In reality, it’s a business deal.
Somebody comes in with a lot of money.
Somebody else doesn’t have a lot of money.
And the problem is, a lot of people don’t treat it like a business deal.
In any business deal done between two sane individuals, financials would all be outlined.
But marriages aren’t contracts that say, “If we are together this long and we build the business together and we build the family together, you are certainly entitled to X amount of dollars from this.”
If there are kids involved, and one person is responsible for taking care of the kids while somebody else is responsible for bringing in the money, then certainly, for the time that they were married, some time of split of assets is necessary. I am all about that for the time that they were married, living together, participating in the relationship together.
But if a person is married and there are no children and they stay together five years, I’m sorry, but the person is not entitled to a nickel.
You didn’t do anything except live off of somebody else’s lifestyle.
You are not entitled to half of the lifestyle during the time that you were married.
You were probably taken care of during the marriage.
You probably lived a life that you could never have afforded, but that doesn’t mean you should be entitled to living that life after the marriage is over.
Yet, the courts say different. Lawyers will tell you that they’ve gotten accustomed to the lifestyle and because they got accustomed to the lifestyle, they still deserve that lifestyle. Even though they don’t work or do anything.
How We Need to Think About Marriage
People go into marriage because they are googly-eyed and they think that it is going to last forever and ever.
But most of the time it doesn’t. Most marriages end before even five years hit.
If you want to get married, I’ve got no problem with you taking that chance… but shouldn’t we write it all out on paper? Sign it all ahead of time.
Write down prenuptial agreements.
Bonuses after two, three, four years together.
I’m all for that because again, it’s a financial contract.
Just because you are married to somebody does not entitle you to everything they have ever worked for in their life.
Take “Marriage” Out of the Equation for a Moment
Think about it. Think about how you would handle a breakup with someone you were living with if you weren’t married.
You live together. The relationship ends. So, one of you just packs up your stuff and moves out. You move into wherever you were living before. You go back to the lifestyle that you had before.
There’s no financial payout.
Yet in marriage, for some reason, everyone feels there has to be a financial payout.
Why? The only difference is that you have a stupid piece of paper that means absolutely nothing at all.
A true partnership is one based on equality.
In a true partnership, no one would ever screw somebody at the end. A true partnership is based on respect, and when you actually respect someone, you are not going to try to get more than you’ve already gotten out of somebody.
That, to me, is highway robbery. The ex-husband and ex-wife who tries to financially attack the ex is just the lowest form of scum on this earth.
They had a piece of paper once, and they think that entitles them to something.
I’ve got plenty of pieces of paper. I’ve got shelves of paper at home. Do I think any of that paper entitles me to somebody else’s money?
Of course not.
So why should one little piece of paper called a marriage certificate entitle you to someone else’s money or their lifestyle?
Both women and men are equal offenders when it comes to this. I’ve seen many men who have gone after and dated rich women, and I’ve seen them try to take the money and run after it was over.
And I’ve seen tons of women play this game forever and ever. Women are masters at it.
Men are new at it, but they’re equally as masterful.
Marriage is Expensive, But Love is Free
Once again, I’m not criticizing you if you’re married, or if you desire marriage.
But think of it as a business dealing. Protect you assets. Protect yourself. Because that person you love now might be your worst enemy one day.
Maybe they didn’t show you their true colors at first.
I believe in love. I believe in the journey of love.
But I also believe in being smart. You wouldn’t go into business with someone without having an ironclad contract in place, right?
You don’t know somebody after a year. You think you know them, but you don’t. So before you say I do, have them put a pen to the piece of paper that’s called the prenuptial agreement.
If somebody truly loves you and they want to be with you, and they’re marrying you for romance and they’re marrying you for love, then guess what?
They’ll sign the prenup, because they actually do love you.
But if somebody balks and says they’ll never sign a prenup, then they’re in it for money.
They’re in it to screw you in the first place.
Because love is something we do for free.
Love doesn’t have a price tag. Love doesn’t cost anything.
So beware and learn the lessons from all the people that get divorced. Even though you think it can’t happen to you, it certainly can.
Ask anyone going through a divorce right now. Divorce courts are full of men and women who thought for sure that it was “’til death do us part.”
And that’s why I think marriage is an outdated institution.
It’s a piece of paper that we’ve attached meaning to, but in reality it’s a business deal.
And business deals go sideways.
Partnerships are something different. Partnerships are much easier because you’re committing to each other day by day.
You’re not holding each other accountable for financial promises in the future.
Because partnerships are based on love, and love doesn’t come with a price tag.