Last night I was at the Hollywood Bowl — box seats and a picnic under the stars. Actually in Los Angeles the air is too dirty to see the stars, unless Tom Hanks walks past you on the street or something.
So at the Hollywood Bowl last night looking at the two visible stars in the sky, we got to watch Depeche Mode play a concert. It was one of the best shows I’ve ever seen.
Not only was the band great, but crowd moved right along with them. Everyone stood for the entire concert.
The opening band, The Whistlers, was good too. You know The Whistlers — Peter, Paul and Bjorn? I’m just joking, but they were good.
Something that happened last night was really funny. We went to the concert with another couple. They brought so much food, it was incredible.
We also learned something about Sonja’s friend Angie. We learned that she always has an emergency stash of almonds in her purse.
Do you know people like this, who always have some kind of emergency food — raisins, nuts or trail mix or something — in their bag? I don’t know about you, but I’ve never had emergency food in my bag.
I mean, there always is a convenience store nearby if you really need something. I guess if you were trapped on a desert island, then having the emergency food stash is smart. Or, maybe, if there’s an earthquake that knocks all your food on the floor and your dog eats everything but the emergency nuts, then it’s a good idea too.
Really, though, there are just some people who are going to make wonderful mothers . . . because a good mother always has an emergency bag of almonds. My mother always had an emergency Valium. So whenever we were hungry on a road trip, my Mom would say “There’s no food” in a not-so-nice tone of voice and then pop the emergency Valium. So, clearly, some people are better prepared to be mothers than others.
On the subject of children, I have a question. Is it just me, or does it seem like everywhere you look women are pregnant?
That brings up another children-related topic I wanted to talk about today. . . I truly believe there should be a DPB (“Department Of Better Parents).
You know, you’d go in there and tell the child experts why you want to have kids. You’d take a test to see if you can parallel park with kids in the back seat. Then the child experts would determine whether you should become a parent.
I think this is a great idea, because I’ve got to tell you that there are a lot of people who wouldn’t pass if they had to get a parent’s license. I don’t think it’s right to have a child just because you want one.
I want a boat, but I don’t think I’ll take care of it. I also want an old car, but I think it will frustrate me and break down too much.
Children are people, not things or possessions. They are not put on this earth so you can relive your frustrated childhood through them, and be made to do all the things you wanted to do as a kid. You need to embrace that, and allow them to be the people they want to be.
I think having a child is not a right. It’s a gift. It’s a gift for which you have to be ready. You have to be someone who embraces that gift. You know, the emergency almond woman from last night would definitely be a good one.