Nobody puts Baby in a corner. At least that’s what the fake Patrick Swayze said on stage last night when I saw the musical Dirty Dancing.

Last night was my other house guest, Cammie’s, last night in town. So as a final treat, we all went to see the show. The “we” were Me, Cammie, Sonja and Mama.

Hearing Sonja call her mother “Mama” the whole time she’s been here raised a funny thing with us. While Sonja, who is from the south, has always called her mother “Mama,” my brother and I who hail from New York have always called our mother “Mommy.”

So Mama was never a Mommy, and Mommy was never a Mama. Funny, all the southern women seemed okay with me calling it “mommy bootcamp” the other day. Must be some kind of north/south/confederate thing.

I don’t know though. Kristen is from the Midwest and tells me that they all just call their mothers “Mom.” Maybe that’s why we fought the Civil War, so we could divide the terms “mommy,” “mama” and “mom.”

By the way, Dirty Dancing was fun, long and had lots of music. It was a lot like the movie . . . and twenty years later Baby is still not in a corner.

On our way home, though, something happened. It all stems from an 82 year old man getting insanely jealous. Yes, Mama’s husband George we discovered had called her about seventeen times while we were in the play.

George in fact has been calling incessantly all week. He is convinced that Mama had been gallivanting all over Los Angeles for the last week while he’s been paying for it.

Now Mama tried to call him during intermission, but George either fell asleep for a few minutes or couldn’t get to the phone. So we get out of the show at about 9:45 pm PST (which is 12:45 am Arkansas/Louisiana time).

In the car coming home, Mama then calls George who at first feigned being asleep but then called back a few minutes later. All we hear is Mama screaming, and then we hear her yell “Bullshit!” sApparently George was still under the impression that Mama has been gallivanting all over Los Angeles on his dime and she repeated what he said to her on the phone: bullshit!

Now Mama never swears. Mommy, on the other hand, has a mouth like a truck driver. That’s probably another reason we fought the Civil War – cause northern mothers swear and southern mothers don’t.

Needless to say jealous men come in all ages. So if a man ever wrongly thinks you have been gallivanting around town, all you need to remember to say to him is “Bullshit!” No one puts Baby in a corner.

For the last week, I’ve had to keep myself from swearing while Mama has been staying with us. I guess now that I heard Mama say bullshit, it’s all fair game!

During what should have been a 30 minute ride to the show last night which actually took an hour and forty minutes, Mama suggested that I get an old Dodge like she used to have so I can ram people. You know what though? If I did, then too many people would be saying “bullshit!”