Was it Alice in Wonderland where that little character wanted everybody to hurry all the time and he had a watch around his neck? I’m not exactly sure, so any of you who remember please put in the comments below, or please send me an e-mail, because I’m really curious.

But anyway…

How many of you are so obsessed with time?

Well, I can tell you personally, I’ve seen people with time constraints, and I don’t give a fuck about time.

I’m pretty much on time all the time.

If I’m late, I blame it on Los Angeles traffic. But now that’s getting harder and harder, because if you’re meeting with somebody who’s anal about being on time, he probably already put it in Waze before he was getting ready, so he already knew the traffic flow.

Unfortunately, with the Internet and our obsession with smart phones, we’re going to lose that excuse.

In reality, the only time constraint I have is time left on the planet. Because to me, that’s really the only time I really want more of, because life is kind of the best gift in the entire world.

I wouldn’t say kind of the best gift.

It is the best gift.

There’s a great book called Tuesdays With Morrie by Mitch Albom.

He writes a lot about death and time, and if you haven’t read one of his books, I strongly suggest you do (One More Day is another really good read), because really, what people want is more time.

You get terminal cancer and they tell you how much time you have left, and all you really want is more time.

Most of us just believe we just have endless time left on this planet, so we sweat the small time stuff, nonstop. We think we have 56 years, we have this opinion that we’re just going to live forever.

Even though we all know legitimately and fundamentally, it’s just not going to happen that way.

But, we don’t make the most of our time, so we tend to have time constraints.

The Internet: Public Enemy #1

For instance, you know you’re going to meet somebody, but the Internet is calling your name.

Come, look, hurry, check this sofa out!

Hurry, look, this supplement may not be on sale much longer!

Hurry, hurry, hurry, the Internet calls you nonstop.

So you go and you check, and you realize that there’s a time constraint there. The sale’s going to end in three days, you must look at it one more time today, even though you have three days, because it’s on your mind.

Then all of a sudden, you’re late. So what do you do next? You sit in traffic. Brutal, brutal traffic on a freeway or a highway.

And then, like a mad person, you start zigging lanes.

And then the more lanes you zig, the less time you’re going to have left on this planet, because eventually, somebody’s going to fucking hit you, you’re going to get into a massive accident, the airbag’s going to pop, and you’re going to be spending your time at the chiropractor and doctor’s office fixing up your mistake that you were being impatient.

It has been shown that people who have time constraints drive like maniacs, which means that you’re not relaxed to begin with, which means they’re going to be more danger to themselves and others on the road.

Time. It all comes back to our limited time.

What if you spent an extra 10 minutes in the gym? If I’m running a little late for somebody, what I do is I send a text. Hey, I’m running 15 minutes behind, I’ll see you soon.

The Internet, I don’t allow it to call my name anymore.

I just basically say to myself, I can look at that sofa deal later on that day. That eBay auction or that Etsy deal, well, it’s going to be there later.

No one’s going to add 300 pairs of the same pants that I want to the basket some time this day and put the stuff out of stock.

I just don’t believe it.

I take my time doing things.

Whenever a car dealer tells me that the deal needs to be done today, I look at them and say, “I’ve got plenty of time.”

Doesn’t have to be done today. I could do it tomorrow. When they tell me that the price may not be good tomorrow, I look at them and say, “It will be, if you want my business.”

I control time. Time doesn’t control me.

And that’s the biggest thing you need to really grasp.

Time controls you if you allow it, but in reality, you control time by making the most of your days, the most of your time, appreciating every little thing.

And that’s simple. If you’re always somebody who runs late, then think about the reason why.

I guarantee you it’s got something to do with the world wide web.

Without a doubt.

Because that’s usually the number one thing, or you’re just a chronic masturbator and you’re constantly touching yourself, but I would presume it’s the worldwide web.

Just figure out what makes you late and eliminate it.