Be SpontaneousThe message for today (Other than Happy Labor Day!) is… Be spontaneous!

Yes, I’ve said it before, and I’m going to say it again and again. Be open and spontaneous if you want to find love. It’s one of the biggest dating mistakes women make. You want to meet a man so badly, but life always gets in the way. Granted we all have work, and a lot of us have kids… but it’s actually your FRIENDS who usually get in the way!

You meet a man. He’s fantastic. In fact, he’s almost your idea of perfect, but your girlfriends always seem to get in the way. It sounds harsh, but friends can be like balls and chains. I know men and women are different in many ways, but I’ve written about this so many times. Men have no problem blowing their friends off when they meet a woman. Men blow off their friends quickly too!

And our friends are fine with it. It’s like an unwritten guy code. When there’s a new woman on the scene it’s like we get unspoken permission to leave the group for a while to see where it leads.

Women have these routines with their single girlfriends they can’t/won’t shift. It’s always Friday night at the trendy wine bar, Saturday night  dinner at Joe’s Bar and Grill, and Sunday is spent in the park. Then a guy comes along and it’s like a disaster. It’s so hard to break into that circle. Girlfriends are so tight.

The problem is, if you really want a man, especially if you’re older, you have to see these girls when you can, and be open to men whenever they show up. Men show up when they’re supposed to show up, not when your girlfriends are tired of hanging with you. So, be open and ready for when he’s there. When he turns up you need to be ready for the ride. You need to go with the momentum. Go with the flow!

That’s what it’s all about. We’re all here to find love. That’s why we’re on this planet. Your girlfriends will still love you no matter what, and you’ll still be able to spend plenty of time with them. When a guy shows up, drop your friends for a while if you have to. You need to take off with the flow.

Why Is It So Important To Devote Your Time To A New Man?

The first couple of weeks in a relationship is all about momentum. It’s all about making each other feel comfortable, spending time together, and getting to know each other. It’s about getting past your fears and insecurities. If you stick to your weekend routine with “the girls,” you’re never going to get momentum with a man.

Remember, it’s not about ditching your friends for good. I’d never suggest that because men can come and go, but good friends are there for life (if you choose them wisely)

It’s about your friends giving you the time and space to give your new relationship a real go. If you’re friends get the hump, or don’t like you spending a few weekends away from the group, you have to ask yourself how good a friend they actually are!