Robert And Beautiful Women-Plus Soulmate Podcast
Robert By David Wygant
Before you read todays blog you need to make sure that you check out todays free podcast at the bottom.
Soulmates…..Myth or Reality?
Todays blog will be part of a live coaching from London with a client. Hopefully these exchanges with my client will give you an idea of my coaching style. Consider it a sneak peek into what I do when I am coaching clients and leading bootcamps!
Robert: So what ages would you say were the women on the subway that you met?
David: They’re all ages – probably 25, 26, and close to 40 – they’re all ages, all the time. I don’t show the age.
When you ask them out, you want to do so basing it on something that you’ve already talked about, right? So for instance with the black woman in the shoe store, you can let it sit a bit, and don’t focus in, and you can have it. So I would have asked her out, and I would have been funny! I would have said, “so do I get a bigger discount if we go out for a drink?”
Or the British Nanny Girl in the art store, how would I have asked her out? I would have just said, “you know, I need another art lesson – give me your number, we need to talk more about it,” and that’s how I would have asked her out.
The Paul & Joe woman, I would have said, “you know what? You’re fun. You and I have to go shopping one day and look through a bunch of look books. Give me your phone number.” That’s how I would have asked her out.
There was another girl in Harvey Nichols that I met when I was trying on a pair of jeans. She picked out a pair of jeans that she liked for me, and I would have said to her, “you know what? I have to get back to my friends, but you have to give me your number. I feel really selfish right now, next time we’ll go jean shopping for you. I don’t want it to be only about me!”
Those are ways you ask women out. You ask them out based on everything that you have talked about with them during that conversation. You pick an emotional talking point, and you ask them out based on this. By asking a woman out based on an emotional talking point, it shows that you’re different than almost every other guy out there.
Most guys don’t listen, and they don’t pay attention. And what do women want? They want you to pay attention! What did your mother always tell you when you were a little kid? “You never listen to me!” So those are ways that you could have asked those women out.
What about one of the waitresses today? It would have been the same thing – you could have said, “I’m enjoying so much learning about your country, let’s get together, I want to learn more.”
Robert: And you would have done it like that? Like in her workplace?
David: Yeah, that’s how I do it.
Robert: And there are no repercussions or anything like that?
David: No, they either say yes or no. They don’t care about anything else.
What about the Whole Foods Girl? The Chip Girl with her hat? I would have said, “you know, I don’t want to see you hurt yourself on the way home. Give me your number; let’s get together and I’ll bring you a bag of chips. Because if you fall, then I want to make sure you have a nice bag of chips,” or “I don’t want them crushing when you put them on your seat.”
Here’s the thing: that’s creative. When you ask a woman out that way, you’re creating their Notting Hill/Hugh Grant moment for them. It’s that serendipitous moment for them. You want them to basically call all their friends and say, “you will not believe what happened to me today.”
Let them recite the story. What will happen is that by the time they tell their friends, text their friends – you’re a legend! All their friends are saying, “oh my god, Mary, that is so cool – I can’t believe that happened to you at work today! Wow, tell me about him again.”
Then you have a nickname – let’s say if you met her at the restaurant, you might be known as Beetroot Salad Man. You might be Portrait Guy, or Denim Guy – you want to be that guy. You want to be the guy that gets that nickname, because if you get the nickname then they are passing that nickname along to every one of their friends, and it becomes something that’s really fun. You’ve created that moment.
Women want a relationship to start at hello. That’s how they look at things. They’ve been reading romance novels. So when you open them in the ways we’ve talked about – with energy, observations – and you ask them out based on stuff you’ve already talked to them about, they feel like you’ve paid attention to detail. If you read any type of romance novel, or see any type of romantic comedy, that’s how it’s done! And that’s why women go ‘ooh’ and ‘aah.’
You can ooh and aah them just as easily as anyone else. And the great thing about this is that 95% of men don’t do this. You’re in that 5% range. Do you want to be like everybody else, or do you want to be in that 5% range?
Today we are going to tackle the toughest question ever.
Soulmates Myth or Reality?
July 22nd, 2008 at 12:56 pm
Great article! Great podcast! To throw some fuel in the fire, (until I am proven otherwise) I dont believe in love. I believe people can get attached but I feel that if they really did what they wanted they could easily leave that person. I believe people have feelings and they can change on a drop of a dime, and it often ends up hurting people. I feel alot of the proofs is in the pages, check out the divorce rate…
~J~
July 22nd, 2008 at 2:43 pm
As I’ve gotten older, and have more life experience to draw on, I’ve moved toward the idea of the appropriate connection at the appropriate point in time. (and away from the single soulmate/destiny/Disney movie perspective)
At the same time I believe if two people are meant to get together, in any capacity, it will happen. (I’m not commenting on either the probability of someone correctly predicting/recognizing such a connection or it’s “fated” duration.) Even if you don’t travel, the other person might… (and now we have the internet.) If two souls are meant to connect, life will bring them together when the time is right.
Paying attention & being appreciative is the best way to start noticing some of the synchronicities in life.
(David, Please keep us informed regarding any changes in Daphne’s health.)
July 22nd, 2008 at 3:44 pm
think about it, really…is it soulmate or sole mate ?
July 22nd, 2008 at 4:55 pm
to be honest i never believed in soul mate, i believe there are different women for me at different time, depends on how ready i am as a person.
July 22nd, 2008 at 4:56 pm
I would say that if my soulmate was in Estonia and I am dead-set against going there, she is not in Estonia (or Ebonia, or insert-country-here).
July 22nd, 2008 at 5:13 pm
I agree with you Rey. You meet different kinds of people everyday and basically if you just observe and make comments about it then you can make connections. As far as soul mate are concerns to me. I don’t beleive in that.
See ya in December’s bootcamp.
July 22nd, 2008 at 6:46 pm
David,
Do you have any openers for gym. For example, I am about to join Xsport fitness center and while talking to a trainer I see a women who is very attractive. What should I say. Sometimes alot of women I see doing cardio exercises and most likely they don’t wanted to be bothered by some strangers.
How should start a conversation and go forward.
Thanks.
July 23rd, 2008 at 7:41 am
I didn’t know where else to put this so I am dropping it here. I need advice:
I have started tanning this summer (yes I wanted some color the sun was not giving me). I started going there shortly after studying the blog and the videos on this site. I came in there with alot of energy and confidence and talked to everyone (Making contact, asking questions, etc). I also (for fun) tried the text message social proof David mentions (and it worked, I think). Out of all the women that work there I start to dig one in particular. ironically, she was the one I demonstrated my social proof to. The next time I came in she tells me “You look so farmiliar!” (Was she thinking about me when I wasnt there?) I used this time to bring up the fact I play shows every weekend around town with my band (Music is my passion). I ended up giving her and her co worker a CD and told them to text me if they liked it, and if they didnt, to not text me (jokingly). Both of them did, and I did back a little, but I didnt know how to escalate from normal customer to something more, so I didnt want to make it that obvious I liked her. That was the only night we texted, and it wasnt much. I saw her again this week and we talked about her weekend and her friends before I had my session. When I got out, her and her co worker had my CD on through the sound system in the store. I laughed and talked to them a little bit. I found out her co worker was getting off at nine and she was getting off at eleven. She had to close the store by herself and it can get pretty boring there. So I said “You should text me with random tanning tips when you get bored tonight after your friend leaves.” and…… SHE NEVER DID
I am having a super hard time reading this girl. Can anyone help me out?
~J~
July 23rd, 2008 at 9:51 am
hmmm, your podcast, David, was VERY interesting. i’ve NEVER thought of “soul connections” instead of “soul mates”..
i’m probably too young (i’m soon 20) to say anything about deep connections of the soul…cause i’ve only had two serious relationships so far
i do believe though that there is someone out there for me, with whom i will have the strongest “connection” with
it takes a while for one to find that “one” as the expression goes.. and that while, including meeting really cool people, is what i think involves all these “soul connections”.. some connect for a longer period, some connect for only a short period.. but that’s life 
again, interesting philosophy
July 23rd, 2008 at 12:08 pm
Jesse,
You are doing great with your tanning girl so far. You’ve showed a bit of who you are over time so you are intriguing them. You are also showing that you are friendly and approachable.
What you are NOT doing is getting personal enough. Tanning is just the context in which you met her. You now need to lead the conversation in more personal arenas. Ask her more about herself, share more about who you are… and better…. ask her out.
July 23rd, 2008 at 12:49 pm
I guess for me the issue is crossing that line between customer and guy that she is interested in. I still haven’t fully found out if she is interested or being nice. I used the text offer as a test and from that test it shows me that I am just a customer. She knows a little about me (I play music, I have a dog, I am single) and I do know a little about her (Went to private school, has friends in college, and is really close to her sisters). I just dont know the right way to do it. I know you have said if she says no its no big deal, but it is. I have to see that girl all the time and it would be really awkward. If she would have texted me it would have showed me she was mutually interested but as of right now, I am stuck in limbo. I thought about this at work today and I think I am going to invite her to a in studio show (since she did express interest to see the band), If she shows there, we would be out of her work setting and perhaps I could take it from there. But thats just one idea, and I dont want to pull the band card to win her over if I dont have to. Any other suggestions???
~J~
July 23rd, 2008 at 2:10 pm
Jesse,
You’re concerned it’s just about her work, yet she’s carried on at least one text conversation with you… and played your music for all to hear, at the time of your scheduled visit, so you’ll know… You’ve also had conversations where you’ve learned a little about her… She isn’t exactly blowing you off.
If anything at this point she may have reason to believe it’s all about marketing your music…
Testing, testing, testing… Put yourself out there and take a chance… That’s the only testing that will mean anything and move things forward. If she does say no, you’ve met someone who really appreciates your talent…
Half joking here: Next time, bring a foam bat. Give it to her and tell her you’re slow picking up on subtle signs. You want her to join you for (some activity) a picnic at the park, if she’s available she should whack you on the head with the bat. - (note above: “you want” and “if she’s available” you’re confident, and if she’s not available(interested) you can still visit the establishment. She’ll let you know if she’s interested but not available…)
It sounds like if you invited her to a studio show, you still wouldn’t feel you know where you stand… Maybe at/during your first get together you can invite her to the studio followed by some food at your place… (Link some one-on-one activity before or after the studio…)
feel free to disregard any of the above, just responding to your call for suggestions…
July 23rd, 2008 at 2:32 pm
Both of your suggestions are ballsy, I will give you that! I am very tempted to try it, especially the bat thing
If I dont get the courage for that I will try the more conservative method you mentioned in the second paragraph…
thank you so much! any others>>>
July 23rd, 2008 at 2:42 pm
… Just to add to your post Ken, I guess I considered the texting option I threw to her as putting myself out there and by her not doing it she rejected me but then again. how do I know? I dont have her number anymore, maybe she doesnt have mine… Was that a form of rejection or not?
~J~
July 23rd, 2008 at 7:58 pm
Jesse W:
Drop all that darn texting business dude! My gut feeling says she likes you just because she played your CD. Be a man, ask her out “I would love you to give me some tanning tips while I ask for your advice on all the different signing and concert options my agent is giving me…being an up and coming star is a bit overwhelming…smiling of course” The worse thing that can happen is she says no and if you can’t face her again you stop going to tanning salons and save yourself skin cancer when you hit your 50s:-)
July 23rd, 2008 at 8:05 pm
Tariq:
I am not sure if you can do a search but David had some good stuff on approaching women in the gym. If I remember well, you do not bother them while on the cardio machines!! If they have their ipod headphones one, one tip I remember is you gesture to them to take them off and ask them something like “I notice how much you are into your workouts and would love to hear what you are listening to right now”…and if she responds, ie Maddona, you say I love Madonna, I have seen her live or have you seen her live…..just take off from there….just a short interaction, saying good bye “thanks, I ll let you go back to your workout, enjoy, see you later” and then WALK away…. I am sure you will see her again at the gym…and say hi to her “Hey Madonna girl, what are you playing right now?”….and so on. I think you will benefit from the bootcamp. As David says, it is a lot of work.
I am more interested in booty mates the podcasts references:-)