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Practice Your Storytelling

 
 

Practice Your Storytelling By David Wygant

Do you know what is great? Practicing your storytelling. Women are attracted – actually, people in general are attracted to people who are charismatic and can tell a good story.

I know I’ve written blogs about telling stories before, but I want to go even deeper into this today. There are so many emotions that you can convey to people through stories. They tell something about your personality.

When you are there and you are talking to somebody, and they are in quiet mode – sometimes we’re in quiet mode, sometimes we’re in talkative mode – but let’s say this person is in quiet mode. All of a sudden, you start doing the talking – you’d better be interesting! All of us are interesting because we’ve all done things in our lives – but the difference is in the way we share that story.

How do you share a story? How do you tell a story? Are you a fact person? There are two ways you can tell a story. You could talk about your summer vacation last year, and you could either a) do what many people do and just state the facts:

“My summer vacation last year was a lot of fun. We went to Norway, where my sister’s husband is from, and we all traveled together as a family, and then we went over to London, which I thought was great because it was my first time there. And then we went to New York and hung out with some friends before we came back to Colorado.” Those are facts.

Now, in order to really turn another being on – to turn a woman on – in order to get a new friend – you’d better be interesting.

So here’s another version of that story that I think you need to learn. You’re hanging out, and the other person says, “so what did you do for your last summer vacation?” You say in a very passionate tone:

“Last summer was amazing. It was so great, my sister married this unbelievably cool guy from Norway, and she’s been really happy with him. My sister is somebody that I really didn’t think would find somebody, but she found this guy, and he treats her great, and he’s really big into family. They want to have a big extended family.

So he invited me to come to Norway. Of course, I paid for my ticket and everything, I mean he was generous with his heart, but he didn’t, like, treat everybody….”

As you can see here, I’m using a little bit of humor also as I’m conveying and telling my story. So let’s go back to the story:

“…so it was amazing – I’ve never been to Norway before, and it was just so fantastic, especially in the summertime – it stays light. It’s unbelievable – you’re walking around at 10:30 at night, and the sky is this intense blue color, and the sun is still out, and it almost shimmers off of the buildings.

But people are still out, and it’s a whole different vibe. It’s not like the daytime vibe, where everybody is like walking around all hustle and bustle – but it’s like the nighttime vibe, but during the day. And it was really wild – I would sit there in these cafés, and I’d be tired, but it would be light out! And I couldn’t even imagine going to sleep.

It was great, because he took us on so many different excursions all over the place. We saw some of the most beautiful lakes I’ve ever seen in my entire life – lakes that were shimmering, they were so clear. But they were ice cold, and he told us stories about his family.

We met some of his family, his cousins – it was such a great trip. Not only because my sister was so happy, but because I met some amazing people on the way and made some great friends. The Norwegians are so open – they invite you in to dinner and they make you dinner, and they want you to eat, and be happy, and they share stories with you.

The whole trip was just intense. It was so intense that I really just wanted to go spend time alone. I had a round trip ticket from Colorado to Sweden, but I really just wanted to do something different – I looked at a map of Europe, I threw down a nickel, and I said I’d go wherever it was – even if I’d been there before.

Sure enough, with my luck – it was London. I’ve been to London like seven times, but I was like, fine – no big deal. I’m going to hop Ryan Air, go to London, and have a different experience.

So I booked this really great little hotel that was in Covent Garden – kind of central city if you’ve been to London – but really central city. What I did was just walked around and had a different adventure every day. I would go to different neighborhoods, I would explore different food, and it was just so great to have these three days by myself.

So I could go on and on and on about this, but that’s what I did during my summer vacation last year…”

So, as you can see, there are two different versions of it. I’m sitting here with Pete, a really good guy that is totally quiet one moment, and then starts entertaining me with stories the next moment. I just did one of my bootcamps, and I’m going to ask him right now: do you see the difference in the way those two stories are told?

Pete: Absolutely, man. You feel the difference. You experience one story, and the other one, you just hear.

David: What did you feel? I saw your eyes, but describe it. The first story, I was stating the facts, and the second story, what did you feel when I was telling it?

Pete: Let me pick out one thing. When you told me about how it was like nighttime calm, and nighttime relaxed, but the sun was shining – when you said that, I really recognized that feeling. And I felt it at that moment.

David: And that’s how you bond with people. That’s the big difference. For instance, we’re sitting here right now on a canal in Amsterdam – it’s beautiful. People are going by in boats, and it’s very intense and fun. It’s relaxing. It’s seven o’clock at night, and it’s the big chill, just kind of hanging out before dinner.

Pete, when you were jean shopping today – we took him shopping because we really wanted him to convey a new, hipper, and fresh, fun look – how did you not tell your story? What was that big lesson – that big aha – that you had?

We went into this Levis store, and we’d been jean shopping already – so he already knows what doesn’t look good on him, he knows what does look good. So we walked up to this salesgirl, and he just went into boring guy mode – he just said, “what jeans look good on me, ja?” Am I right?

Pete: You are right!

David: And he just stood there – she was showing him jeans and he was saying, “that’s a nice wash.” But what do you do in that situation when you have such mental block?

You use the power of the story, again. You create that story. So you walk in and you look at her and say, “I hope you are going to be able to rescue me right now,” and she’s going to say, “why?” “Because I have been jean shopping all day long and I just can’t find one that fits my butt right” – you get playful too, in that sense. You turn around, you show her your butt…

Then you say, “I’m going to let you have the power of picking out the denim for me.” You just have a little bit of fun with it. She shows you some jeans, and you ask, “is that the best you can do?” and challenge her a little bit. You get playful a little bit, “is that the BEST you can bring out? Come on, I know you can do better than that!”

We did that in the shoe store tonight – we challenged them with shoes, remember? I said, “show me your favorite pair. Oh, you could do better! Show me a different pair,” and we were playing around with them.

But you create that story. If you’re shopping for shoes, you could talk about how you had a quest for shoes all day long, but we happened to have used jeans. So you see the difference?

You don’t just walk in and wait for people to amuse you – you walk in and that’s how you have great conversations every single time. If that person can’t keep up with you, it doesn’t matter, because it’s obviously not meant to be.

So do you get the difference?

Pete: Absolutely.

David: Alright, we’ll let’s go walk around and get some dinner!

Todays video is all about how to create powerful openers. The whole idea is to have fun and be playful!!

9 Responses to “Practice Your Storytelling”

  1. Reynold says:

    i can always tell great stories when it comes to close friends. but when im chatting with another person i can never tell a great story, because i just want to get the facts out.

    this is definitely something i can improve on.

  2. Taras says:

    I really like the part about conveying your emotions through stories! It’s so true… facts are boring. But relating in an interesting way, now that’s fun!

  3. Tariq says:

    David,

    I like how you created a story rather than a fact, especially levis jeans opener which I think is fantastic. I am going to use it next time when I go shopping. Remember we spoke over the phone and created a dog story. I told the facts and you created a very interesting story. Today I used it in my class when I was talking to my friend. I went deep a little bit and created a emotional situation and was excited about it. Guess what?
    a women behind me was listening to my story and laughing about it. I still need alot of improvement and will ask you a question if I have any.

  4. Vivian says:

    Just don’t go “sweet valley high” in a story. That opening of the second story lost me … it became a really good story after the intro. When I’m out with my best friend and she talks like that, I roll my eyes and find I’m highly distracted. I have to be caught right out of the gate, if not I don’t hear a word that is being said, even after a story gets good.

    However, I can almost explain the Hydrogen Cell fuel effeciency thing my boss explained to me today. He had me out of the gate though. Key words, “Saving Money”.

  5. Khiem says:

    I think at the beginning, it’s easiest for guys to practice storytelling by reminding themselves to describe the what, when, where, how and why. When you include such details, you are starting to paint a nice little picture for the listener to imagine how the scene looked like for you.

    So they get intrigued.

    As the guys get better with storytelling, then they should start adding sensations to the story. How did certain things felt? What did they see? What did they hear? What did they taste? What did they touch?

    By amplifying theses sensations, you create emotions in the listener’s mind because they now can imagine themselves in your shoes. They can relate themselves to your own experience… and that’s when the story can get very interesting…. and eventually very sensual ;p

    And for the final touch, you add the re-enactment of certain dialogues or certain aspects of the story… so you get their body engaged too. Now.. it’s as full body experience! :) :) :)

  6. Kevin says:

    Excellent tips today David!

    One of my favorite things to do is to say something like, “So tell me about your day…”

    And see where it takes me… Then if nothing really comes of it, I’ll ask her something like, “Have you ever been dog sledding/white water rafting, etc…?”

    You can use anything… anything that you have personally experienced…

    and then you can tell your story!

    So what is the lesson in all of this? Despite being single I still keep active and focused on doing things for me. Live your life to the fullest!

    David you are amazing inspiring person! Keep up the great work!

  7. Dave says:

    To put my two cents in, I noticed that one of the main differences in the contrasting stories of going to Norway was that the second story focused in on a lot of details. It reminds me of an English class I took on writing stories. They wanted us to show the story rather than tell it. What that means is that if we’re just presenting facts, we’re telling it, but if we use details, then we’re showing it. I think David wants us to show our stories rather than tell them. For example, a friend of mine was telling me about his vacation, and part of it was, “I went to the beach.” and nothing else. Okay, what was it like? Was the shore rocky or sandy? What was the water like, and what color was it? What kind of marine life was there? We weren’t there. We want to know what it was like! What do you think, David?

    Dave

  8. MHudak says:

    david i could not agree with you more…life is truly funny and i could not agree with you more on the last minute of the video.

    great blog!!!

  9. Coby says:

    Telling a story in an engaging and reaching way makes all the difference. I was going to type “could” make all the difference, but that’s not right. You can have the greatest story ever told and it’ll suck through straws if your delivery is sloppy. It’s the same as a good joke. The best story tellers engage your senses and keep your attention.
    Think of audiobooks, too. If you’ve ever heard a truly amazing audiobook, you’re totally captivated by it. But on the flip side, a really crappy read can destroy a wonderful story.

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