21 More Online mistakes for men and women. By David Wygant
I received about 800 emails from all of you asking for more online dating errors. This list works for both men and women.
Enjoy and thanks for the emails.
1. If you are sick, cancel and set up a new day and time. What is up with people who show up with the flu or a bad cold on a date.
2. Make sure that there is no food in your teeth when you show up on the date. Do you remember the scene from Jaws when the shark jumped out of the water when Chief Brody was chumming. Enough said about that.
3. If you are in great shape don’t hide your body. It is an asset and you need to show it off. No matter what you do in online dating you will need to weed through a ton of bad applicants. So show off what you got. I am not talking skimpy shots showing skin, but you can put up some great pictures showing people how great of shape you are in.
4. If you think someone online is married ask them. Listen to what they have to say and if they get all defensive the answer will be very obvious to you.
5. Always be prepared that someone will not be as advertised. That way you will be pleasantly surprised when they are better in person.
6. Stop putting pictures of yourself up with an ex.
7. Only one picture of you with a drink is ok. If you have more than one it makes you look like a lush.
8. Do not put a picture of your friend up instead of you.
9. Do not put up your medical history this is not a chart in the hospital. This is stuff you talk about in person.
10. Don’t ask for the phone number unless you are going to call.
11. Stop asking your married friends for advice especially if they got married when they were very young. They have no idea what it is like to date online.
12. Stop only online dating and start meeting people out and about. Life is all about balance.
13. Stop jumping from site to site. Stay on one and be patient and email people on a regular basis.
14. E Harmoney is a waste of time. How can a computer match 2 people who are not telling the truth when they write their profiles. You need to rely on your own intuition and not a computer.
15. If your not a good writer your profile will not read very well. It is all about creating an emotion in the person who reads your profile. Spend time on your profile it is your introduction to the world of online dating.
16. Get on the phone as quickly as possible. Chemistry is all about the voice and having a real conversation. A week of emails is a waste of time.
17. Why waste time emailing people who live 2000 miles away and if they do not write you back get angry at them.
18. If someone does not show interest control your anger and just move on.
19. Post a picture it will help you get more responses.
20. Stop posting pictures of you in sunglasses. Let people see your eyes.
21. Do not write in all caps. It makes you sound angry.
And now for your enjoyment.
A client of mine was on J Date that has an instant message system that allows people to im others when they are online.
Last night he had a woman that was not only 2500 miles away but out of his age range.
He ignored her im and this is what she wrote him.
Date: 09/23/2007 11:15 PM
Subject: IM Messages You Missed!
Message: hi I thought your profile was inspiring….just wanted to let you know bye your impolite…and declining my compliment just confirms that your an asshole..by the way…your no big deal to look at…just liked what you said but it was obviously bullshit…bye
Lets have fun today, do you have any angry emails that people sent you. Lets post them so people can learn how not to respond.
Tomorrow I have a surprise post for you.
Popularity: 5%
2:36 pm
I was horrified by wygant’s ignorant suggestion that people should lie about themselves to get more responses on dating sites and I wrote him a letter to express my feelings.
I am posting the letter below;
I am a guy and I met the love of my life online. I found your article
to be absolute idiocy.
What you have done is advised women to lie about who they are. When a
woman says she’s looking for a man who will buy her stuff, we know
who that is and we know to avoid her, and, as odd as it may seem to
you, there are guys out there looking for a woman just like that.
Same thing when a woman talks about wanting kids. I don’t want any
children and I absolutely want to know if she does long before I find
myself on a date or worse, in the abortion clinic.
All you are doing is telling people how to place a profile that hooks
guys in, setting them up for a horrific bate and switch. I was
thoroughly appalled by your self absorbed ignorance.
It was all driven over the cliff after you listed 15 different ways
to be dishonest and then punched the end of your bile with the
following, ironic sentence.
“I have found when online dating that if you’re honest about who you
are, and you get back to people immediately, you’ll get the date
faster and avoid all the back and forth games that go on. Now go
change that profile!”
Try “thinking” instead of just” spewing”, next time.
Actually, scratch that. Just keep doing what you’re doing, so no
one will get duped into taking your advice seriously.
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3:06 pm
It has been stated that pursuing a man (sending angry emails) who has not responded to your initial contact message is incorrect.
Does this apply to a man who you have been on several dates with, established an intimate relationship, and then he ignores you because he was confronted about quality of dates? (after a month of dating) In this situation there was a conflict of work schedules and it boiled down to 2 decent dates, followed by pretty much only overnight activity from then onwards. (this was made clear to be not acceptable)
I would love to hear your opinions!
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3:26 pm
The real question is how do we sort out the ones that are lifetime daters versus the ones that truly want to find a healthy relationship? And how do we do this online where people tend to be one way behind a computer, another way one the phone and then completely different in person? Personally, I don’t have time for multiple personalities just one normal guy.
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3:42 pm
I do not online date or believe in it but here is a funny story from when I tried it out:
One young and divorced father who ended up living 60 miles away even after I asked that someone I potentially meet be local said he would be near where I lived taking his son to a little league game that same weekend, I suggested we all take a walk and get ice cream. He responded that I’d have to “jump through more hoops than a circus” to ever meet his kid and that he was very private about his children which I respect having been a nanny.
Then oddly enough his next email was of a picture of him with his son THEN when I took over 24 hours to respond I received this email:
“So I hope you get what you want out of this I called you and email you and got no response. Huge turnoff! Good luck.”
Joke was on him though because he accidentally dialed my number a few days later!
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3:53 pm
Oh,
I so wish I would have kept a dressing down email I got from a lady 4 states away!
I’ll paraphrase, well I’ll paraphrase our relationship. Hot or Not she emailed me, I emailed back a couple times, sent her my myspace link. We talked on the phone, two times, I think. I found out she’s still MARRIED! I asked, isnt that a bit of a problem? She said I can be divorced in 30 days. I was polite enough to not say WELL THEN DO IT!!!
As I was cleaning up my myspace friends, she moved in where she was in the top friends. And sure enough, so junior high school, she got all upset. Her email was something like, you just want to collect bimbos on your myspace, you never treated me good enough etc etc. This is a woman I emailed 5 -10 times, talked to on the phone twice, maybe IM’d for 30 minutes! Wow!
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4:46 pm
Emery Emery
I have never told women to lie on their profiles.
You read something that I wrote for Yahoo and accuse me of a false accusation.
Next time you attack someone and send them an email based on your your own personal frustrations in life.
I never tell people to do a bait and switch.
That obviously was something that happened to you when you were dating.
I tell women to lay off the baby talk on the first date and you take it as being lied to and led to an abortion clinic or an unwanted pregnancy.
I can tell from your responses that your own personal dating life was a horror till you met your wife.
When I got your email i was laughing….I enjoy when people get so angry with me for no reason at all.
Driving over the cliff when you read this…do you have a laptop in your car?
Just a bit extreme dont you think Emery Emery?
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5:15 pm
Yea ok Well, I got a message on my MySpace. This man wanted me to come watch him jerk off, (i’m sorry..but…) on his web cam until he came. He said he has been looking at the picture of my eyes doing this. OMG!!!
Guys, we as women LOVE to be flattered by your words, the look in your eyes…but this?? NO NO NO! Ok let me speak for myself, I have no desire to see this when I do not even know your damn name!
I do think if you are sexually intimate with somebody, phone sex, masturbation with each other, nasty talking …it is all great!
I think the webworld has stepped in and is slowly replacing relationships for what they should be. Private with an innocence.
To make love, not fuck.
To caress your body, not jump your bones, not that i am against the bump and grind, but terminnology has so far surpassed sexy intimate boundaries.
There we go again. You know, we all know Joan can be a bad girl in her speak, but I realize more and more what I want from a man.
He consists of a heart for people, compassion and passion for life, appreciation for the what people view so small, but are the most beautiful things in this life.
Beauty runs skin deep. I have had the 10+ man that every woman lusts after, and unfortunately time and time succeeded. That is not beauty. A beautiful person starts on the inside like a budding rose. As the beauty grows inside, the petals of the rose open into a well nurtured beautiful thing to behold.
This is how I view people. What is on the inside of you? How much compassion have you shown forth causing your seed to be watered? This is going to show forth in your charachter and how you treat and talk to people. Are you flourishing with your feet firmly planted or are you withering and dying due to your lack of concern for humanity and creation?
Make sure when you are dating anyone on or offline, you have a decency to respect the person. If you don’t match, that is ok, but it doesn’t have to be an ugly parting. Thank each other for the moment and move on to try again:)
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5:17 pm
David;
lol oo yea lol that is my elaboration in full.LOL
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6:03 pm
Emery Emery — I have taken one of David’s bootcamps, and have had him help me craft my online profile subsequent to the bootcamp. So, when I read your comment, I was completely puzzled.
The very first thing he told me when we worked on creating my online profile, and the thing which he emphasized as being most important, was to be absolutely honest about myself – both my appearance and what I’m looking for in someone else. He said the fastest way to online dating failure is to mislead someone or put something false up about yourself on your profile.
So, I don’t know where you are getting that David encourages anyone to lie on their onlline profile. I think you are missing the distinction between learning how to put your best foot forward on your profile … and putting someone else’s feet up on your profile
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6:12 pm
Once a guy sent me a picture of his penis as a reply to my personal ad.
No text, just a picture.
It was very disturbing
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6:15 pm
You know, I don’t know if I can legitimately post since I have never had an online date! What do you think? The stories, however, are very, very interesting.
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6:26 pm
David, I read what you initially wrote on this blog and you have no business telling people to write correctly. I found more errors than I can count. Trust me. I write and I don’t need anyone to edit for me. You do. If you need help, please let me know because I notice everything. Ever hear of punctuation? When I read profiles written by someone who does not know how to write properly, I think: MORON! A few errors are fine. As many as you wrote………………NOT fine.
For the record, I have had 8 proposals in 7 years because I am cool and fun. I turned them all down. Maybe I should be the one writing a book on how to do this stuff.
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6:41 pm
Kelly
I whipped this up in the airport on my blackberry this morning so i could get it posted today.
8 marriage proposals in 7 years and you turned them all down.
That tells me that the men that you date have no clue what you are feeling.
That does not tell me anything about who you are….
What I want to ask you is….Why did you turn them all down?
What are you looking for?
And what would you write in your book?
How to get the wrong men to ask you to marry you?
That would be an original spin on things….so Kelly tell me what was it about all these men that made you turn them all down.
I know my readers would love to know…and i promise i will; not nit pick you to death like you did to me.
I will wait to hear back from you and will read your whole answer before i evaluate your dating skills.
Looking forward to it.
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6:47 pm
I am just fascinated with the concept of skillful dating. Hmmm…I think I may just have been meandering through my life, running into people.
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6:52 pm
Emery,
Uh…looks like you completely misread David’s blog. He said what you “shouldn’t” do is lie about yourself online. I think you need to go back and reread the blog.
He is 100% behind telling everything physical truth about oneself i.e. don’t say your slim when you’re not. don’t say you are 29 when you are 35. don’t say put up pictures of yourself from 5 or 10 years ago. don’t talk about wanting kids in your profile, but say you are looking forward to having a family one day. etc.
So, please elaborate on where in the “21″ list does David say to LIE.
I believe the the online dating sites have an area that asks if you would like children or not. So, I’m sure that was a plus in your search for a life partner, am I right? With that question being available on the site, it alleviates the need to put the mention of children in the profile. No need to attack David on that. He merely suggested to leave that topic until two online daters meet in person.
Well, bud, looks like you owe David a mighty apology. It’s okay to make mistakes. You are only human. Just read blogs carefully before you go on the attack.
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6:55 pm
This was a day of attacks Shannon.
It always happens after Yahoo posts one of my stories. I will get 700 emails and only a handful of really nasty ones.
2 of the people have joined the blog so they can attack…..some people have nothing better to do than make nasty remarks to others.
I have always found that people who do this tend to be not happy and have way too much free time on their hands!!!
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6:56 pm
Shannon
Thanks again for sticking up for me….I always appreciate the readers helping other readers see clearly.
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7:06 pm
Emery Emery,
Yahoo likes David. Also u might Check the BBB! I’m sure the only complaints have been from woman who wanted him but could not!!! LOL! BTW congratulations on finding love, I would focus my energy on her.
ATTA boy David, another good blog!
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7:08 pm
Thanks Jim!!!!
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7:16 pm
Kelly,
It’s just a blog. Punctuation isn’t expected. It’s only one persons personal views and thoughts being translated onto a computer web-page. It’s not like bloggers are expecting a Pulitzer on their blog penmanship. Again, you like Emery misread the blog. Hmm…funny since you are supposedly a writer. He is merely telling online daters to be HONEST and to write a happy fun profile, not a list of ones of “you better have this or I won’t date you” or “if arent’ like this then I won’t date you”. i.e. likes or dislikes. You too owe David an apology.
I don’t think David asked you about how many times you been asked for your hand in marriage. Admitting that you have been proposed to 7 times, but rejected all of them doesn’t make you look that wonderful my dear. I would look into deep inside yourself and find out why are not allowing yourself to accept love. BTW, I’d never by a book from anyone who says that they have turned out 7 proposals because I’m a fun and cool gal…..All you need is one from the “right” one.
D – no big deal on your punctuation errors. I too am a writer and I don’t always punctuate 100% correctly. LOL
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7:18 pm
Another thing
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7:19 pm
Shannon
You think Kelly is a tad too critical and that is why she rejected all those men?
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7:20 pm
Elzabeth
Thanks!!!
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7:21 pm
David,
Hey, I’m always happy to make an angry person who is rude to good people look like a fool. LOL
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7:22 pm
Shannon
So we have the same favorite pastime:)
Off to Yoga.
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7:25 pm
David,
I turned them down because some were possessive and some, well, I just did not like the way they treated my kids. One just jumped jobs way too much even though he was a very nice guy. That made me feel that he was unstable. Many women will marry just anyone because they don’t want to be alone or they are simply desperate. I am not like that. I am complete with or without a man. A person must be secure in order to develop a good relationship. They must be able to love themselves in order to love another person. Anyway, I could give a complete list of each dude if you really wanted one.
One thing that I have read often in online profiles is that “Joe Blow” is looking for someone to “complete” him. Give me a break.
One idiot sent me the exact same email at least 15 times. He was obviously cutting and pasting the same letter to all of the women to whom he wrote.
I definitely express exactly how I am feeling. There is no mystery and I do not play games. I will ditch the guy in a heartbeat if I know that I do not want to be with him.
I apologize for “dissing” your writing but I am cranking this out quickly and you will find almost zero errors. I write. I have for over 30 years and I am not all that old. I am 42.
I will not take a guy seriously who has never had kids. I will not date a guy with only one kid because they have no clue what it is like to be immune to the arguing. I usually will not date a guy with too much money. They are generally jerks. I have lived and learned.
My dating skills are off of the charts because I am creative and I make the date fun even if the guy is a bore. I tend to make myself and the dude happy. I don’t plan a first date. It normally goes like this: We have a reservation, he comes to pick me up, we start talking, we miss the reservation, order in and keep on talking.
Now………..your reply to that would probably be: Why in the world would you let some guy (whom you do not even know) pick you up on a first date? The answer is: Because I tell him that if he kills me, the very first place the cops will look is on my computer even if it is smashed. lol All of the emails can be found with or without my computer. I also let my family know that I am on a dating service.
What would I write in my book? Funny stories and how to actually write a profile that is not all that direct but is in a way. It would depend on what the person is looking for in a mate. The book would be endless. I have already been published. You’ll never find the stuff because I wrote most of it for other companies. I was an employee. Therefore (as you would probably already know), I do not own the rights.
By the way, I have met some great guys. They were just not the ones for me so we just remain friends.
Who am I? I am a hilarious genius with a very acurate ability to determine who is fine by me and who is not. I am also very religious but I never post that and I never push my beliefs on anyone. That is not my job. I am just nice to everyone. I am a fun mother. My kids’ friends often want to live with me. I even fart. God forbid that someone farts. lol
Who am I not? I am not a money-hungry bitch. I am not a mean person. I am not thinking that the perfect man should be perfect.
True story: My ex actually said this sentence: I was nice to you on Tuesday.
Me: Do you even realize how stupid that sounds? I can deal with one or two bad days a month but only one good day is not great.
Hence………….DIVORCE.
Kelly
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7:32 pm
David,
First of all, never in my life have I ever met (and I have met aloooot of people and still do) a person who has been proposed to 7 times. I personally know a couple of men and woman who have proposed to or did the proposing 2 times.
The only way Kelly would have gotten those proposal is to have lied to these men that she was in love with them. Now, I know I’m not that stupid (actually not at all unless it deals with how to run electricity through the house) but doesn’t someone asks someones hand in marriage when the two people are in love and have discussed getting married.
Without knowing Kelly, I couldn’t tell you her issues. But, I would definitely start off by saying that she is incredibly critical and not a very happy person. Although, she may dispute that, but unhappy people who say they are happy usually do comeback with a defensive remark as she already has done.
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7:33 pm
Kelly
Wait you even fart!!!
My friend would never date you because he will never ever want to believe that women fart!!
Everyone thinks that they are a dating expert and as long as what they are doing in their life works for them….then they are an expert in their life.
And that is what matters…I strongly disagree with a few of your rules but if they work for you…then that is all that matters.
I ma not here to judge how Kelly runs her life.
Thanks for sharing and see no errors this time….at least as far as i Know:)
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7:33 pm
Shannon,
Sorry. I do write and I just notice everything. You will rarely find errors in my stuff because I have been doing it forever and a day.
I have done pretty much anything you can think of. I am very good at multi-tasking. Right now I am making dinner, telling kids to get baths, helping with homework, typing this stuff, reading the remarks made here and having a beer.
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7:34 pm
David,
I saw errors. lol
Kelly
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7:36 pm
Damm…….I was trying so little not to have any:)
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7:37 pm
David,
Everyone farts. They also shit. WOW! Such a revelation. lol Those are bodily functions that we all do. Why hide it?
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7:38 pm
Ok. Here’s an apology e-mail I received from a guy I met online once. The date was an absolute disaster and the original message from him was so obscene and vulgar it’s unfit for print. I wrote him back before this one was sent telling him I wasn’t interested and not to write me again…here’s his reply:
Barb, I want to apologize on the was I was the other night. I was kinda embaressed to tell you I am on Medication. combined with the alcohol…well lets just say that is the opposite of how i am…I was not only very rude, but lets just say the wrong part of me came out. You remined me so much of someone else that I wasn’t sure how to handle it.Like you were one of their clones. I really need for you to accept my apology, please. And consider giving me another chance to get to know you, and for me to show you the real me, which you deserve and i seek. Embarresd Idiot…. Paul
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7:39 pm
Kelly,
You are a freak.
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7:42 pm
Shannon,
I am probably the nicest person you will ever meet. I talk to strangers. I give a hand whenever I can. I give money to strangers. I was raised to be kind. I am as happy as possible. I force myself to be. I used to live on Prozac. I quit taking the stuff years ago. I am pretty ill right now. I have several medical issues but it does not stop me from making someone else’s day by telling a joke or two. Here is one: What is the difference between a doctor and God?
God doesn’t think he is a doctor.
Here is another: Which came first, the chicken or the egg?
Neither, the rooster did.
Even telemarketers crack up and eventually are laughing so much that they get the “evil eye” from the boss. They hang up on me. However, they do tell me that I made their day. That makes me very happy.
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7:43 pm
Mike,
I know. Thank you for noticing.
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7:45 pm
David,
I will stop editing if you would like. I will still notice but I can be quiet.
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7:48 pm
Shannon,
It was eight. Not seven. Those do not count prior to my marriage. I divorced the asshole because he threw a calclator at my son.
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7:49 pm
David,
LOL! I think Kelly’s last email just answered your question.
Kelly my dear, I think you need to have more “one time only” dates You can pretty much get rid of all those “so called” losers on the first date. You should never have let the relationships get far enough to lead to a marriage proposal. You should read your dates like you read a novel, throughly and without rose colored glasses. It seems to me that you were hoping that the men would become more of your perfect mate as time went by. At 42, you need to learn how to hone your skills on learning how to read men just as you learned how to read great words of literary. You know when an book or article sucks, right? When I find a book that sucks, I usually don’t end up finishing it, or it may take me weeks or even months to finish it. When you are into a great novel you never want to end. You want the characters and story to go on and on. The same thing goes with great relationship with an awesome guy who you are madly in love with. You never want it to end.
Think about this analogy the next time you go on a date. Really!
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7:55 pm
Shannon,
I don’t read novels. I only read non-fiction. Thank you very little.
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8:01 pm
Kelly-
I’m glad you wrote back and that your letter was so rational. I had questions about you, too, when you said you turned down 8 out of 8 proposals. I wondered why how the relationship had gotten to the point that the men felt that it was appropriate for them to propose, and why you hadn’t cut it off sooner.
At any rate, you’re obviously a smart woman, and I’d just urge you to read through all of David’s stuff online, including his blogs, and watch his videos. I think on the whole you’ll find some of the most rational and effective advice available on the net. And this is the only dating advice site I’ve found that enjoys active participation by a good representation of both men and women.
Accurate, by the way, (as in “a hilarious genius with a very acurate…”) is spelled with two “c’s” (Sorry, I couldn’t resist busting your chops on that after you came down so hard on David’s errors.)
Anyway, I hope you stick around. You have a strong voice, and I think you’d be an asset here, with lots of good stories to entertain and enlighten us.
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8:02 pm
Shannon,
Take a reading and writing class. Trust me.
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8:12 pm
Bobby Boy (BobM),
They don’t have spellchecker here. I am “on the fly”. I do know how to spell. Yep, I even make typos. I am not perfect. I do not claim to be. Men just like me because I am cool and real. I also used to hang around with my brother’s friends so I understand men. I even chewed Skoal once but I puked my guts up. lol
I walk around in public with slippers and junky clothes but people always remember me because I am nice to them. Yes, I could dress nicely but I am not out to impress anyone. I have the outfits. I am just me. I like me. Most people like me when they meet me in person. Men and women.
I am sure you are all very nice people. Most are. Some aren’t but I prefer to give everyone the benefit of the doubt.
Kelly
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8:13 pm
To all:
You might have noticed that I have ADD. I took meds for it. My house was clean but I didn’t even know who in the hell I was. So………. I threw the drugs out.
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8:14 pm
David,
Yea, I love to write. It’s more expressing how I feel toward others via cards, letters (the old fashion kind) and emails. I’ve been told that I could make a living writing “real” cards (birthday, valentine, anniversary, you suck as a boyfriend, etc.) . Well, maybe in the near future. For now, I love using my words of love, support and encouragement for my friends, family and lover.
Hope you enjoyed your pretzel workout. lol I’m off to hit the Cross Ramp Trainer. Need that cardio!
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8:33 pm
GK-
After looking through the comments, I realized no one had responded to your question. It’s not clear to me exactly what you’re asking. Did you want to send the guy an angry email because he didn’t respond after you said you expected more from him? If so, I can understand the temptation because he certainly owed you some sort of response.
Nonetheless, I don’t think sending him an angry letter accomplishes anything more than getting something off your chest. If he can’t give you any reason to think the situation will change, you don’t really want to continue the relationship anyway, do you? I mean, it was clearly unsatisfactory.
Sorry, it sounds like he’s a jerk. It’s probably better to invest your energy elsewhere.
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8:40 pm
Anyone want to play Blackjack?
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8:43 pm
I guess not.
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8:56 pm
Dear David,
This question is probably impossible to answer. I
have had severe anxiety and depression much of my
life, but people find me intelligent and funny, and I
have many other good qualities. I have my good days
and my bad days.
Because of this, I have become a mental health
advocate. I don’t know if I can find anyone who is
“mentally healthy” though I so want to. I really
don’t expect to.
I also know everyone has issues, and I’m always amazed
when I have opened up to friends that they have fears
or some skeleton in the closet.
But how would someone post this, or would this be
brought up in emails or a phone call? I know neither
men nor woman are out there looking for someone with
“baggage or issues”, but this is who I am.
What happens to folks like me? Where do we fit into
the internet dating scene. Do we belong at all?
Thanks,
Sandy
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9:17 pm
Wow. Ok I was just told the blog was getting hot..I took that as muy caliente. This is hell fire hot.
BobM;
How about you and I back it up a blog or two and heat up that pleasure palace with the heat that is only doused by body friction? We won’t be counting spelling errors I guarantee it! The only thing to count will be orgasmic explosions of the unknown kind.
Is it a full moon out because I am under the spell of sensuality?
Everybody will be here, so no distractions to be had.;)
Most enjoyable times are when spent in the deafening sounds of heavy breathing, moans and groans. MMM
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9:20 pm
He is a guy. What do you expect?
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9:37 pm
This is almost more fun than making fake money in a fake world (Webkinz), buying fake food, fake clothing, fake furniture and fake toys for fake pets. I do it for my daughter. lol She has over 30 grand in fake money. Her buddies only have around 3 grand. lol
You all sleep well. I am an insomniac so I won’t. lol
Get a date. Be nice to the person. You never know how it will go. Ditch them immediately if they are possessive. Trust me. Just be polite about it or he or she might stalk you. Been there.
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9:47 pm
David,
Fun blog site. I enjoy reading it even if people slam me. I have thick skin.
Take it easy.
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9:57 pm
If someone does not respond it could be for a number of reasons. I always give the benefit of the doubt. Could be:
1. They are not interested. So what? There are plenty of fish in the sea.
2. They are traveling or busy. So what? They have shit to do.
3. They might be in the hospital. That would be sad. I would be worried.
4. They might already be involved. So what? March on.
5. Their computer could be down. It will come back eventually.
6. They do not check their email daily. A lot of people don’t.
7. They may be working way too much. At least they are working.
8. They are busy with their kids. That would be a good sign (to me).
9. They might be going through a divorce. You never know……….
10. I could go on endlessly. I will stop now. I just assume the best and not the worst. That is me.
Just do not assume that they are not interested and send a nasty message to them. They might be interested but not around. Their power could be out or whatever. You will definitely piss the person off if you send a mean message. The person could be the one of your dreams. You just never know…………..
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10:29 pm
My experience with one date was enough to turn me off for a long time from dating period.
I met my date at a lounge where we shared one drink(2 total) ..at first the conversation went well but I knew that the physical chemistry was lacking that we had shared online. So I ended the date letting him know that I was meeting up with some other friends which I had told him from the beginning. When we departed I leaned in for a kiss…he had not shaved in days and the stubble was rough and harsh on my skin, so I backed away. He replied that the next time we met that he would shave…sorry but first impressions do count for a lot guys.
The next day I receive an email with him telling me how he would like me to show him around my area. Upon my honest response telling him that I didn’t feel the chemistry but I truly wished him the best with his search for the girl that he was looking for. I received an email the next day asking me to reimburse him for the 2 drinks(less than $20), that I was a bimbo airhead and had wasted his time.
The lesson here is to lose graciously and if a woman or man isn’t into you than to realize that this is a very big world with many people in it that are just waiting for someone like you. Perhaps if he had written back respectfully or not at all ..than I may have tried a second date. You just never know but after that nasty email..I know that I made the right choice and my intuition served me well regarding this particualr first date.
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10:30 pm
Emery and Kelly have a lot to learn about social skills. I really enjoyed the comments by David as most of us have minus a few blatantly ignorant people. I’m confused though..how does a person so angry such as Emery get through life without bursting? How does a person that brags about several marriage proposals find they are an expert on dating? I know..you’re confused too.
David’s blog is great. I sent him kudos for posting the basic facts that everyone should know when it comes to online dating. I even encouraged him to write more about the proper etiquette for men. You’d be surprised how many men post 13 photos including: themselves (hardly appropriate for the general public), lovingly hugging their cats, half-naked “friends”, cropped out pics (probably an ex cut out), or vacation scenery. Dating should be easier but I have been lucky enough to pass up men that hate kids enough to find themselves in an “abortion clinic” when life happens.
Thankfully, we have great writers like David. I love to see when writers can compile stories ‘on the run’ on their Blackberry. Who cares if there are typos? I’m looking forward to the next great blog!
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11:00 pm
Okay DH, you personal growth freak, you. I’ve rented a cabin on the Mendocino Coast. After a lazy afternoon poking around the tide pools and stopping to nuzzle and touch each other, we go back up to the cabin. I hadn’t told you because I wanted it to be a surprise, but I’ve precooked some ingredients for a special dinner, and I start to heat them up on the little stove.
You’re curious about what I’m doing, and you come up behind me with your hands around my waist and your chin on my shoulder. You smell like the ocean, and I lean back against you a little bit. You kiss the back of my neck, and I feel your hands reaching under my shirt. I love the touch of your hands on my skin.
Soon, I can’t stand it. I have to turn around and kiss you. I cup your face with my hands and our lips just touch. Then our tongues meet. There’s an “mmmm” from both of us, and it makes us giggle a little and smile at each other. Then our lips and tongues meet again with a greater urgency, and suddenly we’re totally lost in the moment and in each other.
We start to stumble toward the bed, but then I see smoke from the stove. Damn. I have to break free and shut it off before the smoke alarm goes off. We look at each other, shake our heads, and smirk. Then in it’s on.
We’re at the bed, and I start to pull of your shirt. You’ve read my mind, and you raise your hands over your head as the shirt comes off effortlessly, I lean down and kiss your breast, just below the nipple. You turn and move a little, so you nipple is right at my lips, and I clamp down it gently on it. I hold it in my lips as I tease it with my tongue…
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11:07 pm
Kelly,
I am noticing some things that you had written that show a contradiction in terms. Don’t take this as a criticism, but when you criticize someone, then be prepared for others to look at you badly; I am merely pointing out some of your flaws. Also, I do not claim I’m perfect, nor is my punctuation or spelling at all times. I am just pointing out things that you may want to look at for your life and your children’s lives. I am also not saying you are doing anything wrong, I’m voicing my opinion, because I believe people need to live their lives as they see fit.
The first post: you claim that you have had “8 proposals in 7 years.” That to me sounds as if you haven’t had much single time. I understand you have children and as a single mother of 3 boys (ages 5, 13, and 15) I understand the difference between single and personal time.
In another post you claim: “Many women will marry just anyone because they don
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11:35 pm
Pamela-
You did everything right, including drawing the right conclusion fro your experience. As far as I’m concerned, the cost of the drinks just represents the cost of doing business. In effect, it’s a speculative investment. If we’ve gone to dinner (and David, I frankly think your advice against dinner dates is sound), I’ll pay for dinner without question, even if I know damn well there’s not going to be a second date. It’s just what you do as a guy, unless the girl insists on splitting the bill and makes it clear she’s serious.
The most important thing, however, is that you politely told him right off the bat that there was no future. You didn’t drag it out or exploit the situation, and you were totally honest. If he has issues with that, then he has issues, period.
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11:39 pm
Shannon,
I was reading your posts to Kelly as well as her responses. I am not as old as the other Kelly, but I have had my share of dating.
Sometimes it can take years to realize that someone is not completely as they appear to be. Some people (both men and women, so men don’t think I’m bashing you here) put up a good front and “con” the person they are dating, for whatever reason. It took one man I dated almost a full year to show his jealous side; not that I was stripping with strangers, he was jealous of men friends of mine that were in my life before he was.
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11:46 pm
Kelley:
Really, what woman wouldn’t enjoy David “slammin” them? LOL LOL LMAO!!!!
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11:47 pm
Sandy,
As to your question about when to bring up the subject of having mental issues; my opinion (and I’m no dating expert) would be definitely don’t bring it up during the first or second date. Once you know you like the person and you can tell they are into you, then you can let them into a portion of your world. I wouldn’t say “break the dam”, but at least give them the information that you suffer with depression and that you have good days and bad days. You don’t have to go into detail right off the bat, but you do have to let them know you are not perfect and have issues just as they do.
I deal with depression (not debilitating depression, but enough to make it hard to smile and people at work who talk with me on a regular basis notice it) and have told people I’ve dated that I suffer from depression and I will honestly answer any question they have, but to be warned that they may not like my answer. This is not said on the first two dates, either.
Just remember to be honest with the other person and it helps them to make a more informed decision on whether they want to be with you for the long term.
I hope this helps.
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11:51 pm
Joan,
I know I would love David to be “slammin” me, in any way, shape or form!
He is hot!
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11:58 pm
So, KellyP, you are not Kelly, but Kelly is the new kelly and you are Kelly p?
Ok damn so much for onfusion! I got it! lol
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12:11 am
Wow I do some yoga come home turn on the game and I have all these women who want to get hot and sweaty with me!
Nice!
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12:11 am
Joan,
I figured since she posted first on this blog, that it would be less confusing if I just starting using my last name’s initial. That way people won’t mistake my comments for hers or vise-versa.
I figured you’re a smart woman and you’d be able to figure it out without too much effort (that’s why I made sure to let you know who I was).
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12:14 am
David!
You should know by now that a lot of us would like to get some one on one personal time. Well maybe I shouldn’t speak for others, I would like to get some one on one personal fun time!
As I have said before: Any time you are in Phoenix and want a personal tour guide/slave of whatever, feel free to contact me! I am willing to make that sacrifice.
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12:15 am
Hey ladies,
If you want to check out a “cribs” video of ‘ole DW… you can check out my blog… a few posts down…
BTW… be nice…
Who wants to flirt?
I’m bored
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12:18 am
People,
Whats with the spelling mistakes. Are we drafting anything legal here.
Kelly
Calm down. NO one is judging you here. We all respect the fact that you are on top of your life . take it easy. You have keen eye, thats good. Do you by any chance work in legal department, my attorney looking for a sharp eyed person. I bet I can get the referral fees.
Kelly, Go easy on this post. Yes, I do make mistakes and I have every tendency too. If you do find any errors, they are not mine, They are my high school teachers’. She taught me how to spell and use grammer.
Kelly, dont take this personally. I dont attack you on a personal basis. You are a perfect fine women, who can take hard hits. Go easy on us.
As a Certified Onlie Dater Hater, You either cheat your profile or you speak truth. I would like if people explain themselves clearly. You lie, people will find out eventually, YOu are just wasting peoples’ time and pateince. By the time, you realise, you cannot handle yourlies, the stakes would will be higher and you get hurt. So other person has every right, to give a abgry email. YOu lie, its your mistake, you have to take the brunt.
And women, If you are posts your pic, please dont post your head shots, they look more like a mug shots. Also, if you are seeing other guys too besides me, Dont say that to me. I would knock your off.
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12:24 am
OK Angel Eyes! Am I not enough? You want a harem too LOL
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12:25 am
Hem you gotta be kidding? You’ve had dates mention the other men in their lives? Who would be so flippin stupid if you haven’t promised fidelty yet?
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12:27 am
Hey Joan,
Sure… you’re enough… one on one… with no computer screen…
But alas… this isn’t the case… and I need to sharpen my writing…
…er… “flirting” skills.
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12:29 am
Hem:
LOL Now now lets take it easy on your teacher. lol
Your last line?? WHAT are you going to knock off?
Are we supposed to fill in the blank? lol I say…knock your”head” off? lol
You are too funny. I am so playing with you. lol
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12:29 am
Joan,
Isn’t that all men’s dreams?
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12:32 am
Some people try to play the “I’m desired” card…
Yet… if you have to say you are… you aren’t…
… my rule of thumb for everything people say about themselves
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12:35 am
Hem,
I am not here to judge. I just get a kick out of reading the stuff.
I have many degrees. I am very versed in the law. I could get you out of a DUI in two shakes of a lamb’s tail in Illinois. BTW, attorney’s write like shit. I have corrected their books.
I don’t care if people judge me. Feel free to do so. I have very thick skin and have been around the block more than twice. They are not my judge. God is.
Take care. Peace.
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12:35 am
AngelEyes:
In this case…I am short, a boring person, a horrible lover, LOL
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12:40 am
Man… just my type…
I mean… who else could POSSIBLY handle the TIK…
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12:41 am
Awe kelly;
I don’t think Hem was being judgemental. I think he was more worried about BEING judged for typos.
Kelley P;
Do you mean every guys dream being to knock a womans head off????
If so, umm no not really. Some well probably, but I know some men and women who need their brains knocked back into place. lol
No I don’t believe if a man is treated right, as well as him treating the woman with respect, The “headless horseman” is out of luck! LOL
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12:45 am
I meant “Isn’t it every man’s dream to have a harem?” Sorry about the confusion.
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12:46 am
My time to go, gotta get up in the morning and the only help I get getting up is the alarm clock.
Have a good night all!
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12:47 am
To whomever:
My short-term memory is shot. It has to do with an issue in my brain. Anyway, judge not lest ye be judged. I don’t judge. I just edit, write and kick ass at trivia.
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12:49 am
To the person who said that I have no social skills:
See me in person. I kick ass.
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12:50 am
I had many people under me while I was an executive for Kraft (in 3 different states). I NEVER gave a bad review. I didn’t even do it when they deserved it. I just helped them to learn.
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12:52 am
OR……………. I did their work and explained how I did it so they would develop their skills. NOW call me horrible.
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12:53 am
That was how I taught Calculus too. I did the work. They did the work. I would look at their results and then go into detail about why their answers were wrong. Cost them 20 bucks per hour back in 1985-1987.
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1:27 am
Good night to all. My daughter is having night terrors because her father molested her. Lucky us. Now you all know why I am extremely anal about anyone meeting my kids.
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1:35 am
Kelly, I’m sorry your daughter still suffers the horror.
My kids are much older, and the one is more than capable of intimidating any man, but they have only met one of the guys I’ve dated personally. They did meet one indirectly at a college function, but we never said anything to the kids. Its a wise idea to be anal about it.
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10:58 am
Kelly,
Let me get this straight. You were an executive at Kraft, you write for a living for 12 years, you’ve had 8 marriage proposals in 7 years that you’ve turned down, you make telemarketers laugh so much that they hang up on you, your “dating skills are off the charts”, you are nice to everyone, you taught calculus, your friend’s kids want to live with you, and to top that off you fart!
Did I miss anything?
Wow. I started thinking about the new country song, I’m so much better online! Or perhaps Mac Davis’s “I cant wait to look in the mirror, I get better looking each day!”
This seems to be an interesting place to swap stories, maybe “think” about a topic regarding dating a bit more, chat with some strangers, and hang out. Why are you tooting your own horn so much? The women I’ve dated that do that seem to have self esteem issues. They really are not comfortable with who they are. Have you seen a counselor recently? Who diagnosed you with ADD?
I’m not trying to bust on you, I’m just a guy who read through the posts you made on this site.
Darik
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11:16 am
Great comments, Darik!!! Agree with you 100 percent!
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12:59 pm
DH & Bob,
I think it would be a good idea to not to use David’s blog as a venue to share your sex-fantasies (yes, i made up that word). Maybe you could share your those fantasies in a personal realm such as your own email address, im or in a chat room.
As much as I love to be aroused with literary, I don’t want to read yours on this site.
DH, I love that you are open and can share your sexual desires as well as advice so please continue that as they pertain to David’s blog. However, what you got going on with Bob and would be better said off this site.
Bob, you seem like a classy gentleman. I’m sure you get the gist of my comment here that your beautiful and sensual trysts should be shared with DH outside of this site.
Hey, maybe I’m wrong. There may be other people on here that don’t mind it, but as I am always one to share my thoughts I’d felt I might be saying something that others on here are unable to say.
Anyone here feel the same way? If not, no worries. I can scroll through DH and Bobs comments. LOL
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1:06 pm
Darik,
LOL! My dad always said if you’re really good at something you won’t have to tell them, they’ll be telling you.
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1:10 pm
It’s a great saying, Bertie!
I would have to remember this one!!! LOL
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1:14 pm
Yeah, growing up, there was a lot of that sort of thing. My grandmother lived with us from the time I was five. So growing up in a multigenerational household taught me all sorts of interesting tid bits on life. Granny was a lot like having your own personal Madea.
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1:14 pm
Darik,
Not only do I fart, I burp, shit, pee, sneeze, cough and laugh. We all do.
I honestly don’t give a rat’s ass what I look like. Right now I have on junky shorts, a tie dye shirt, a brace on my right ankle, my glasses, my hair in a pony tail and sandles. I don’t even carry a mirror in my purse.
About ADD: Several doctors. They notice it right away because I ramble a lot and tell tons of stories. I joke with them even if I am in agony (which is constant). They usually laugh. Doctors really try not to laugh. I already knew I had ADD. It is pretty obvious when you can write funny stories but you cannot see your car keys when they are right in front of you. I have my son find them for me. lol
Counselors throw me out on the first visit because I do not cry the blues about my problems and I do not blame other people. They then ask me if I have ever considered becoming one. Me: Yep. However, I would worry too much about my patients (that is the truth…… I would worry a lot).
During my divorce, my ex and I were supposed to see a therapist individually for 5 visits. I was thrown out on the first visit. He had to go to all of them. The dude is nuts. Literally. You should read my journals.
You asked if there was anything else. Yep. I am a member of two churches. One is in Chicagoland and one is in Indiana. I also modeled until my mother died. Then I lost interest. I donate my time. I have taught Junior Achievement. I tutored damn near everything when I was in college. I taught two of my three kids well enough to get the hell out of LD. I worked three jobs at a time in college because I was bored. I did not need the money. I taught drug awareness at a local high school. I volunteered at the library. I volunteered in the nursery of my church here. I have done damn near everything because I like doing it.
I never write any of this shit in my profiles. This stuff eventually comes out over time and only if I am asked. I usually ask most of the questions on dates or tell a ton of jokes or stupid stories. I tend to be attracted to intelligent men. College is not required. Some of the smartest people I know never even finished high school. Looks are not important to me.
My self esteem used to be a mess until I turned 27 and then I changed entirely. I realized that I was a bitch and stopped being that way.
Slam me all you want. Sticks and stones can break my bones but names will never hurt me. Besides, there are so many medical issues wrong with me that I probably won’t live much longer anyway. Fire away.
Take care.
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1:39 pm
Darik,
What you are thinking about Miss Kelly, I’m with you bud. LOL
Kelly,
Ok already. We don’t need to know your whole life story. No one even asked. So, have some dignity and stop ranting. You are just giving everyone here reason to think you are NUTS (even though that is clearly evident).
Ugh! I don’t like saying mean things to people, but I feel that Kelly needs a little sisterly advice. Since she is do defensive she should consider a position with the S.D Chargers. She could at that to her resume as well. LOL
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1:59 pm
Kelly,
ADD or not ADD.
You are simply NOT a nice person!
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2:02 pm
Shannon
I would think that the two of them would want to take the dirty talk out of the blog and onto the phone.
Dirty talk is fun but it is more fun via im and phone and in person….not on a blog when you need to scroll threw all the comments.
I did not read all of them but I was wondering how that started and who started it?
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2:07 pm
jessica
tell us how you really feel about kelly:)
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2:32 pm
Someone shoot me please
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2:33 pm
Please shoot me
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2:34 pm
I think Kelly is behaving like a child who is looking for attention!
To look for attention at somebody
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2:38 pm
Jessica,
I don’t think that was an invitation hon, I think David was playin with you.
Who knows though, I’ve made mistakes before, some more delicious than others…
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2:42 pm
David,
Glad you agree. Would you believe that it started waaaay back on the 21 Misrepresentation blog. So, I don’t know how or why it was continued on this blog (scratching head).
I still can’t believe why your readers use this blog to chit chat to each other regarding their daily tasks, i.e. “gotta go wash the dishes now” “hey, so and so, where have you been” “who wants to flirt” etc. I’m here to read some provoking thoughts regarding your daily blog and not what someone ranting about having food poisoning last night and that they feel like shit today unless it pertains to the blog’s topic. Am I way off on that?
So, David’s groupies email your personal chit chat to each other instead on here.
Ugh! Again, I hope I don’t sound mean, but I’m sure you understand that this site is purely for interesting views on dating and NOT a place for idle chit chat. Get each other’s email address and continue your conversation there.
David,
Well, if they get it they get it. I said my peace. If not, then I guess you and I will have to continue to scroll through nonsense comments. LOL
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2:59 pm
David,
BTW, I have had some of the most amazing phonesex, IM dirty talk, with each men that I have care about in my , but to do it with a stranger on a blog. for all to see….not my cup of tea. I save that for a place where the two of us can enjoy the experience without voyeurs. If you catch my drift.
I never comment on your sexual how to blogs only because I’d much rather teach in person what to do then to describe it. Men (and a good majority of Women) are extremely visual. So, even though you can tell someone what to do sexually via written directions the average man needs visuals. Thank God for Porn! Personally, without them I would never have learned how to give my amazing BJ’s. :0 Real Sex on HBO is also a great place to suggest to your clients and readers.
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3:19 pm
I AM nuts but in a fun way. I play with little kids because they have great attitudes. I dance with them even though I really shouldn’t because I am clinically disabled. Most people remember me even years later after they have only met me once. That kind of freaks me out. They even remember my name. The lady at this one store is constantly giving me gifts for no reason. You all can think that I am meaner than a snake but I am not. One store used to call me on my birthday. I am not kidding. The problem with writing on the net is that people sometimes read what is written incorrectly because there is no body languagel. I talk to everyone in stores. I go out of my way to chat with people in wheelchairs because many people are nervous or feel uncomfortable doing so. I am not. They are simply human beings.
The Bible says not to talk about your good deeds. However, I have done enough of them so I am not worried about telling a few stories.
Be nice to the “bitch” who is dying (me). lol I truly am dying soon. I am not afraid. We all die. We are all starting to die the second we are born.
I will stop talking about me except for dating tips or stories of relationships gone bad or the ones that went well and why.
Cheers!
BTW, giving a BJ is easy. Why would you have to watch porn to learn? It makes common sense and you simply ask your partner what he likes. Communication is key. I have a really good tip for the ladies here. Put pressure on the prostate. It works like a charm.
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3:25 pm
Tip: Do not date anyone going through a divorce. The guys get all depressed as soon as it finalizes and then disappear. I personally did not because my ex was an abusive jerk. I threw him out on a Thursday, went out on Friday, met someone and had a date on Saturday. I loved the guy that I dated but I eventually dumped him because he was a closet alcoholic. He would call me at 3 AM and I could not understand a word he was saying. He never would drink in front of me. He put my kids in danger once and that was the end of our relationship. Super nice guy but he got wasted and almost burned down my house while watching my kids. He was gone…………………….
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3:33 pm
Tip: Do not eliminate anyone for having a disability. You might get one. There are no guarantees in life. I dated a really cool guy in college who was a quadriplegic. We would dance by my moving his wheelchair around on the dance floor.
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3:50 pm
I’d have to say it would depend on what kind of disability it was and what kind of a person he is. I take care of people in my professional life. I don’t want to do it all the time. I’ve already had a guy hit on me from his intensive care bed about five hours after we were able to remove him from the ventilator during a prolonged stay as a result of mixing his favorite substances, alcohol and methamphetamines. He is considered disabled as well. He told me he just needed a good woman to look after him.
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3:59 pm
Bertie,
Very good point. This particular guy had a football injury in high school. He was loved by everyone. He was able to care for himself as well as drive. He was not looking for me to take care of him. He never even suggested it.
BTW, I could never do what you do. I would worry way too much. Very brave job that you have. Kudos.
Story: I met this woman in my neighborhood who was living with her friend. She told me that she was a recovering addict. I asked her what addiction. She said: Ice. Me: What is that?
She then explained it to me.
That is how much I know about illegal drugs. lol
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4:04 pm
Kelly,
Phew! Glad to hear that that was you last rant. Happy to hear your future thoughts on the blogs and only on the blogs! I wish you good thoughts help you through your pain.
Giving BJ’s has been my specialty from the first time my lips touched my first boyfriend’s cock, but after viewing my first prono (somewhere around 18) did I learn some more amazing ways to give one. One should always be open to learning about new ways to please your lover, and viewing pornos is a great place to learn.
Giving a BJ may be common sense to women like us who enjoy the process of giving one, but ask anyone of the guys on this blog and about the horrible BJ’s that they have received and you will see that there are many women out there who do not know what the hell they are doing.
True, communication is a factor on having great sex, but if more women watched pornos (without their men) and came to bed with a new trick that they learned it would drive her man wild. That is why there are those sex parties for women to teach women about ways to please her partner as well as herself. Men, well they just have pornos. Personally, I show my partner what to do to please. They LOVE being directed on what to do to you since their main goal is to fulfill you and get you to climax.
So, all in all learning is a good thing.
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4:06 pm
Well some people would probably say what I do is being a professional worrier. I think that worrying is more like having too much concern over events you cannot control. What I do is more like being a good boy scout and preparing for what might happen. Unfortunately there are times when you cannot save someone inspite of all of our technology, but you do what the person you’re caring for wants even when you know how horribly undignified its going to be. Thats the ugly part of my job. Having to continue when it seems much kinder to keep them comfortable.
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4:17 pm
You could put crack right in front of me and I would not even recognize it.
Tip: Don’t date a person who uses illegal drugs. I caught one doing it and that was the end of our relationship. I do not allow guns nor drugs in my home. I don’t care if it is a cop that I am dating. I make him leave his gun in his car. That is called: PROTECTING YOUR KIDS. I really don’t like cops anyway because 65% are involved in domestic violence. If you don’t believe me……….. look it up. I apologize if there are any cops here who are decent. If you are “jerkish” cops then I can’t stand you. I even tell cops that. You can say: I don’t like cops. You cannot say: I don’t like cops and I am going to kill you. lol I told that story to a friend. I told him that I literally told a cop that I hate cops. Him: YOU CAN’T SAY THAT. Me: Sure you can. It is called freedom of speach.
There is this hilarious clip showing a cop teaching students how to handle a gun properly. He claimed that his was not loaded. He then accidently shot his own foot. lmao. What an idiot. He did not stop. He was just limping, asked everyone if they were OK and then the clip ends. Too funny.
I have a gun but it is not here. It is at my father’s house in another state. Some goofball gave it to me years ago. I think my father threw it out. I don’t care. I would never shoot anyone anyway. They would have to kill me first.
I do know quite a bit about illegal drugs if the proper names are used. I am just not versed in the slang.
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4:18 pm
I am a professional worrier for other people. lol
Thank you for doing a job that many could not tolerate.
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4:23 pm
Good points, Shannon!
Lets indeed ask guys on this blog about the most horrible BJ
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4:26 pm
C’mon guy! Tell us your stories!
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4:29 pm
Shannon,
I am not into porn. I do just fine on my own. When I watch porn all I can think of is what is really going on. The director might give them a break then the stars call their spouses or kids or whatever. They might have a smoke. They are just working. That is all that it is. A job. They actually often do have spouses and families. It is work. So what?
I get nothing from porn. I personally think it is disgusting but to each his own.
It is legal. I don’t condemn people for watching the stuff. I just prefer to actually do the “real thing” and ask questions.
Here is a dating disaster: I was really in love with this one guy. Right after we made love (after dating a while and having done it many times), he told me that he paid two prostitutes in Amsterdam to do him at the same time (prior to our meeting). Why in the hell would he tell me that? I literally threw up. I barely made it to the toilet. I see no problem with giving your partner a three-way if that is what he or she wants……. BUT paying for it? That is disgusting.
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4:30 pm
Jessica,
All you have to do is ask the guy what he likes. Easy.
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4:31 pm
I dated one dude who did not like BJs at all. I thought he was nuts.
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4:33 pm
Dating disaster: The dude who did not like BJs told me on our very first date that he loved me.
What an idiot.
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4:36 pm
Thank you, Kelly!
I want to hear what guys can tell us about the most horrible BJ
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4:42 pm
Dating disaster: Some dude asked to show up at my house after he bugged me forever to meet me. I told him that I was getting ready for a date but he could stop by briefly and talk to me on the porch. I had on a mini-skirt, heels, a bikini top, sunglasses (could not see my eyes) and a pony tail in my hair. That was what I was already wearing because I had just come from the pool. I had not even started to get ready for my real date. I was just dressed the way I was. I did not prepare for his dumb ass.
Him: Blow off your date.
Me: No. I made a promise.
Him: We should date exclusively.
Me: Based on what? If you like my sunglasses that much………. you can have them.
lmfao
End of talking to the moron.
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4:42 pm
Ok. I am sensing a sense of some horniness in the air as i “blow” from blog to blog LOL
Yes I am HIGHEST on that list. SIGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
BobM;
Yes, I need to speak with you in private. lol
Hey don’t forget my blog on How to orally please (BLOW JOB) a man months back.
Fail safe method!;)
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4:45 pm
Kelly,
You are doing it again. STOP with the stories already. Why bring up a gun? I’m done. There is just not getting through to you. No need to reply to this comment either. Just read it and move on as I am with what you blab about. Ugh! I have wasted so much time with you.
I stick to my promises.
No more comments to Kelly from me
But, I’m sure she’ll still reply. LOL
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4:48 pm
Jessica,
Everyone has different tastes. I like my clit licked and sucked. I get nothing from a tounge in my vagina. I tell them so too. Why should I sit there and fake it? I never fake it. I never will.
THAT is why I ask the person.
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4:50 pm
Shannon,
The gun story is important because it protects my kids. I don’t know if you have any kids or not but I do and guns are not allowed anywhere near them. Period.
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4:51 pm
Shannon,
Enjoy your porn. It is all staged. Get a brain.
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4:55 pm
Shannon,
Porn is fake. Deal with it. It is just a job so people can feed their families.
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4:59 pm
Kelly;
Awe. My goodness. I would love to give you the gift of a day of pampering. From hair, to some microderm…fels waesome leaving your shin smooth, then a facialand some fun fall colors in makeup and clothing. It is fun to change with the seasons. Keeps ya fresh!
I love to give people makeovers. I have had a handful break downand cry, which made me cry because they felt so good.It is all about your feeling good inside that will radiate onthe outer.
Hey, the guy who DID NOT like blow jobs?? OK He needs to have his “head” examined. After that they can check the “other brain” for any malfunction or activity:) mmmmm
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5:00 pm
Told ya she’ll still comment. lol
Thanks DH for taking your chat with Bob to a private place. Now go all out and get it on with him!!!!!!!!
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5:19 pm
Shannon;
You make me laugh LOL LOL LOL LOL…one more LOL!
Hey make your own porn at home! Greater than the generic brand! LOL
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5:34 pm
Joan,
Thank you for the offer. I am pretty good at the stuff myself. I used to give chicks “make-overs” in the bathroom at bars. They had not been noticed by guys prior to my making them look nice.
My skin is perfect because I take care of it. I hate being pampered but I do appreciate the thought. Thank you. To me it is agony to even get my nails done because I have to sit there forever. I don’t like to sit still long. However, I do it anyway.
About the moron (Steve) who did not like to have his dick sucked: Turned out that he started to hang out with this gay dude. They would go to The Manhole. It is a bar where gay guys hang out in Chicago. I have been there. The dude was named Tim. He was nice and I liked him. We worked together.
Anyway, I have no clue what happened to Steve. He might be dead for all I know. I am talking about several years ago. Tim died of AIDS. IF Steve is still alive and I go to my church on Easter (he is a member and only goes on Easter) then I will know for sure but I really don’t care. lol That is mean but I haven’t talked to him in forever. I was rehired by this place where we worked together. He was still alive then but took another job. That is all I know. That was in 2001.
I do wish him well. I just don’t talk to him anymore. He was a bit odd and anal. IF he is still alive, he still lives in the same house he bought. I know where it is. I just will never go there.
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5:41 pm
Does anyone ever tell stories other than me?
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5:45 pm
Joan,
Thank you.
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5:54 pm
Kelly, I haven’t lived 43 years without accumulating stories…I just like to create a little anticipation.
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6:34 pm
DH,
LOL back at you. I do make my own porn at home, I just don’t video tape it. LOL
My whole point of bringing up the topic of porn was in regards to David’s blog on “how to….” to please a woman. I just mentioned that some men need visual directions to accompany his verbal directions. I said that by watching porn as a young woman was a great way for me to learn some new ways to give BJ’s. Kelly just misconstrued my comment by thinking that I said that “I needed” porn to learn how to give a BJ. Just wanted to get my comment straight for you.
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6:37 pm
Shannon
I love a woman that really enjoys and knows how to give a great BJ.
Do I smell a guest post here teaching all the women that may not be orally gifted?
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7:41 pm
David,
Thank you kindly. I can’t deny that I have penis envy.
I truly believe that one shouldn’t get oral sex unless one is willing to give it. Hmm….a guest blog on the art of giving the perfect BJ? Let me put on my writing cap and see what I can come up with. Like I mentioned before, I’m an on hands teacher. No pun intented. LOL
For starters, one thing I can tell woman out there who dislike giving Bj’s due to the taste factor is that if that is all that is keeping you from giving one then just do everything but have him cum inside your mouth….. Tell your partner that you’d love to give him a BJ but that you won’t swallow. Trust me, he’d rather cum outside your mouth in lieu of you not going down on him at all.
Tell him that you want go slow with getting to the swallowing part. He will be more then happy to go slow since he knows what the future outcome will be.
Happy Blowing!
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7:43 pm
Shannon
That is a good start…but I always tell a woman what is fair is fair.
I enjoy licking up all of her and she should equally enjoy my juices.
Email me when you whip out…I mean whip up the blog!!!
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7:47 pm
Wow!!!!!!!!!!
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7:54 pm
David,
I totally agree. Just as I said, it is an equal playing field. But, what would you suggest for a women who won’t take in those juices?
Would any ladies out there like to tell us why you dislike oral sex we may be of help to you.
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8:29 pm
Just because I’ve been quite about the blow job doesn’t mean I dislike it…au contraire! Nor has anyone mentioned anything yet on the subject that I didn’t know or haven’t already employed on occasions with a great deal of satisfaction. Thank you anyway though.
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8:30 pm
Oh hell! That shoulda been quiet….Kinda screws with your mojo when you make the typo.
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8:35 pm
ok so now i am going to add my 2 sense.
i only like a blow job from a woman that enjoys doing and is not just doing it for me.
i can tell the difference between a woman that loves to suck cock and one that is just going through the motions.
i can spot a faker…….does anyone see a blog cumming:)
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8:40 pm
I think the same applies to men. You can always tell who is just trying to hurry along to the entree’. Pity as there is just so much to savor.
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8:45 pm
David … You have great expertise in many many things, but I think you (like most men) NEVER know when a woman who knows what she is doing is faking it … thus I’m not so sure you (or most men) would see THAT blog cumming
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8:47 pm
SB
I cant wait to write this one……..This is going to be fun and I am going to expose all bad blow jobs forever and ever.
On another note…..I have to get out of the house I cant stand watching the Mets Choke!!!
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8:49 pm
Amen Bertie! However, all men think they are the greatest at cunnilingus. LOL Only we know the truth.
David, nice to hear your POV. Now hopefully we can hear from some other open men on here.
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8:52 pm
I know about my cunnilingus skills……..and that is on a need to know basis girls:)
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8:54 pm
Nice point there David. I feel the same way about my blow job skills….
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8:55 pm
SB, so glad you brought that up. I just didn’t have the heart to tell David that faking happens and ALL women know how to do it so well that men have no idea.
David, I will wait for my comments until that fun blog cums along.
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9:01 pm
I’m with you Bertie!
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9:06 pm
Thanks Shannon! I was just basking in the afterglow of a younger man inferring that I was a girl.
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10:08 pm
Shannon — If you go WAY back in this blog, I did a guest post on this topic
I’ll be interested to see what David has to say about it though …
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10:14 pm
Shannon-
i’ve just revisited here after DH and I finished our discussion elsewhere. I apologize for intruding. I’m new here, and I didn’t appreciate the etiquette of the site. I also misinterpreted DH’s invitation at first. I can be a little obtuse sometimes, and your objection is duly noted. It won’t happen again.
DH-Would you please check back at our previous rendezvous? I have a couple of questions pending for you.
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10:18 pm
Shannon — Here’s the link … let me know what you think of my take on faking it …
http://davidwygant.com/blog/sex/how-to-spot-a-woman-who-fakes-an-orgasm/
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10:18 pm
BobM;
I am waiting for the rendevous completion? I have lost you somewhere here in the blog jungle.
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10:26 pm
DH-
Check your e-mail.
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10:38 pm
Wow, it looks like I missed quite a discussion while I was otherwise occupied.
SB, I agree, women often fake it because they want to protect our egos, and it can be hard to tell. I’ve had my suspicions from time to time, but I will never ask. Instead, if I think there was more show than go, I will start talking about how we could do it even better next time, and when there is a next time, I’ll ask her to tell me in no uncertain terms if at any time she’d like me to do something differently.
Otherwise, I try to pay close attention to physical and other non-verbal clues to try to stay on the right track.
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3:02 pm
SB,
Interesting guest blog on “faking the O”. Hmm…..I do have many comments on it, but I don’t think I’m gonna.
Bob,
Thanks for the classy comment. I hope you and DH had fun in your private room.
The inviting to comment from David pertains to the blog topic…..Quite often people veer off the subject and forget that everyone else here is reading what they are saying. Oh well, I guess.
Anyway, glad you are here. It’s nice to see men on here giving there POV’s. We need more Bob’s.
Have a good one.
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3:19 pm
Emery Emery………..
I read your first blog already but I just read it again. Worse is not the abortion clinic. It is paying child support for 18 years and then also being responsible for half of almost everything for the kid as well as college. Just ask my ex. I warned the asshole. He started dating some chick who was 36, never married and no kids. Me: Be careful. There is a reason. The reason is that she is probably a bitch and nobody wanted her.
Boom. She conveniently stopped taking the pill. Now there is a kid.
My ex asked my advice. Me: Get a DNA test. If it is your kid then pay child support. Now……….. go get a vasectomy. lol
He didn’t listen. He dragged her threw a 13-month custody battle and lost and then got snipped. Shit. My divorce was only 11 months and we actually had assets together.
What a moron.
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3:25 pm
Bob,
I never fake it. That would be lying. I just explain that for most women….. it is next to impossible to orgasm during certain parts of the month. Not all but most women. Doesn’t hurt a guy’s ego if you tell him the truth. The sex still feels good.
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6:33 pm
Shannon-
Thanks for the kind words. It’s rare to find a discussion on the internet with such a uniformly high quality of comments, and particularly a co-ed setting where the women feel so free to be honest yet are still able to hold their fire when a man says something ridiculous or inflammatory.
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6:42 pm
BobM,
Trying to impress people with large words that many will not understand?
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6:42 pm
I understood it.
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6:44 pm
Sorry, BobM.
I am in a pissy mood. No intent to be mean.
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7:07 pm
SB-
I just read your original guest blog about faking. In my experience, although women genuinely enjoy intercourse, it doesn’t usually give them an orgasm, and for most women, a simultaneous orgasm with their partner is really unusual. I don’t let that discourage me because I usually make sure things don’t begin or end with intercourse.
When I was in my twenties, I was amazed at the percentage of women who spontaneously told me after making love (which included more than intercourse) that they had never come before. When I asked them why, they basically attributed it to the men’s focus on their own gratification and indifference to their partners’.
For the statistically minded, as a disclaimer, please note that I said “percentage,” as opposed to “number”. My sample size wasn’t big enough to make a larger generalization.
That hasn’t happened in the last 30 years, thank God. Otherwise there’d be a huge percentage of really frustrated women running around with no interest in sex.
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9:41 pm
SB- In reviewing my post, I realized I never actually got around to my question for you. Namely, does what I wrote about orgasm during intercoures square with your knowledge?
I’d be interested to know.
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12:12 am
Does intercourse and dating always have to be combined? Do you all screw everything that moves?
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12:16 am
Snails move slowly. Would they be acceptable? Give me a break.
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12:18 am
Koalas (or however you spell it) sleep around 22 hours per day. Would they be appropriate?
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12:19 am
“Kelly” (me) is damn nice but I am almost thinking that this is just a porn site.
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6:21 am
Well Bob … I can really only speak for myself. But I would agree with you that sex can definitely be enjoyable even if “it” doesn’t happen at the end. I also agree that I think it is probably uncommon for a woman to have one simultaneously with her partner on a consistent basis.
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8:44 am
Thanks, SB.
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2:37 am
I am getting really bored. Dating is not all about sex. It is about CONNECTION. Sex comes later.
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2:40 am
Shit. I can orgasm for over an hour straigth with the right guy.
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2:49 am
Kelly;
Only an hour?? That is deprivation! LOL
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6:09 pm
I said OVER an hour.
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2:28 pm
to bobm,
‘women can fake orgasms,…men, can fake relationships,” Billy Crystal
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6:10 pm
Hunter,
When Harry met Sally.
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4:44 am
i wrote on my profile…Go F**k yourself! thats my word…dont copy…
is that is good idea david??
and i told on my profile that…like is hard like a dick! and i am upset now! feel like wanna become genghis khan and conquar china!! hoarhhh!!!!!!F**K!
and how to apologize to a girl after being mean or rude to them?and what is the best topic to tease them?
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9:39 am
How to apologize to a girl after being mean or rude? Just apologize!!!
She probably won’t believe you…
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9:55 am
Jae;
?? Please say it isn’t so…lol.? Go F**K yourself? That has a boomerang effect when you start tossing words like that around on your profile…On Your profile??
By boomerang effect, I refer to the fact that putting those words down? You just F**KED YOURSELF. I figured that might need an explanation if you are serious about your questions.
No, I am not David to answer you, but I can’t resist this as a woman. David will come along and give you some help that obviously darlin…you need it. Good luck to you once your profile is magnetic instead of like maneur in the cow pasture.
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11:30 am
Cheers, Joan!
I feel the same!
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8:41 pm
my finger is pain…so thats why there are many word mistakes…i mean…i wrote down…
life is hard like a dick!and i am upset now.. feel like wanna become genghis khan and conquar china!! hoarhhh!!!!!!F**K!
anyway..thanks for all your advices and comment…i learn something….where is david?hey gale…is that the right way to do it??Just apologize??how about i give her explanation? anyway…my english is really bad..i am so sorry about it..
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9:06 pm
jae;
I feel like you are my non adopted son and I have to be “mom” here and give you some advice as such sweetie.
YES to the apology….that is NEVER abad idea if you have made a mistake….if she is worth a plug nickel she will understand ok?
Hard like a dick? NO son no:( Ahh Lord How about hard like a rock? A marathon anything but a dick.
Forget gengis kahn for a minute. Try being jae MINUS the word F**K. Decent girls don’t really like guys with potty mouth as I am sure it is the same the other way around. Yes, I have lost it here on the blog, but I feel it was justified…or at least at the time it was.
Go to download a free translator if you need immediate help. Go to the dictionary, get self teaching english tapes…order a book from Amazon There are a lot of resources available as quick help guides as far as that goes. Just no cursing and talk of hard dicks and bra sizes??
Good luck son…I can tell you really do need it, and I say that from my heart…not to be mean in any kind of way. I hope you understand.
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7:10 am
Jae,
Yes, apologize and ask the girl to give you another chance..
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2:09 pm
I found your blog on yahoo searching for something else. Any way I like it, so keep going!
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