Life is a Continuous Conversation
Think about this Zen-like principle: if you walk over to someone and expect nothing, you’ll accept everything from them.
If you expect nothing from people, then you will accept every gift that they give you – the gift of themselves, and the gift of sharing with you.
Life is just a series of continual conversations. Whenever you meet somebody you connect with and find interesting, you want to continue that conversation with them, right?
So what do you do? You ask them out as a conversation continuance: “oh my god, it was so great to talk to you about your dog and this trip you just got back from. Hey, I want give you a call and learn more – give me your number.”
It’s just a continual theme. That theme is connecting – and you can maintain that continual connection that you have together in that moment of time.
Many guys will go into salesman-mode when they see a woman that they are attracted to; they will just try to sell themselves. “Buy me, please!” They continue to talk AT them rather than with them.
But you all know what a real connection feels like. If you’re talking to a woman and you’re both with groups of people and her eyes can’t stop looking at you – that’s a connection. If she’s directing all of her energy towards you, you know what that feels like.
So if you’re just going out there to practice conversation and listening skills, just talk to people all day long – that’s important to do. But if you’re looking for a real connection, you want to weed through as quickly as possible.
These are the two steps: the first is to go out and talk to people and build your conversation skills, the second is to look for that connection.
Todays video is all about how to create a more powerful version of you!!
October 10th, 2008 at 4:57 pm
Wow, that’s pretty deep!
On the other hand I don’t always want a connection though.
As I write this, I’m a young 22 years of age. I’m not looking for a girlfriend at the moment and on top of that I’ve been kind of a horndog lately.
Consequently, I tend to run across girls who seem to just be looking for a fun adventure for the night and I’m totally cool with that.
I wonder if looking for a connection is really even necessary in my case…
October 10th, 2008 at 9:42 pm
Wow, great point. You never should really talk at them, I now realize that I make that mistake sometimes, and it always confused me when they sort of get pissed off. But now I realzie what that is, its really being disrespectful of the other person if you just sort of lecture at them without their consent.
It really tends to annoy me alot, so I really have to stop doing it to other people!
October 10th, 2008 at 10:56 pm
Taras..
In your current situation, you’re in the I-don’t-care-that-it’s-not-real-love-as-long-as-i’m-having-fun mode, and that’s fine. You’re just not really into finding real connections nowadays, and that is totally normal. And about the word connection, you don’t have to look for it. It comes, it just happens unexpectedly. Like magic. lol.
Enjoy the women while you’re still young. But always remember that women get pregnant and men don’t. So be responsible. You know what I mean…lol…
ADVANCE HAPPY HALLOWEEN EVERYONE!
October 11th, 2008 at 12:21 am
Yes so true real connections just happen like magic!
October 11th, 2008 at 9:06 am
to Tara,
You are living every mans fantasy!…….
October 11th, 2008 at 10:28 am
I really liked that video, David. That was great advice! That is what makes people interesting that we all have different interests and passions. I’ve been letting myself out a lot lately to different people and get great results from it. What is anyone going to talk to me about if I didn’t let myself out? They wouldn’t know anything about me or what I liked to talk to me about.
October 11th, 2008 at 12:26 pm
Thanks revababy, that helps put things into perspective.
October 11th, 2008 at 8:12 pm
You actually picked one of my favorite sayings,” Expect nothing and you won’t be disappointed.” I really think it’s because we put expectations on others that we tend to get into disagreements. And most of the time they don’t even know what we are expecting of them. I think we sometimes tend to lean towards trying to make people into what we want them to be and not just accepting them for who they are or allowing ourselves to learn just who they are. Life is not always supposed to be a romantic connection either. Sometimes we just enjoy people for other reasons and it’s healthy to have social contact either way.
October 14th, 2008 at 8:38 pm
What I like about not projecting my own expectations on someone, I get to be pleasantly surprised when the person starts opening with me.
By not having expectations or preconceived notions or pre-judgments, I can fully appreciate the person for who they are, as they are.
October 14th, 2008 at 8:51 pm
@Taras,
You don’t necessarily need a connection to meet up and “have fun” with a girl… however, the connection can just be simply “having fun together”.
There’s always need to be something that brings the 2 of you together.