The Beauty of Older Women By David Wygant

I’ve been asked to come clean.

I’m hanging out with Khiem, Tony and Rey. As we’re walking down the beach right now, we’re taking Daphne – Coach Daphne, of course – we’re walking down the beach in Marina del Ray, and it’s about sunset. So we’re just kind of talking about women, and what type of women I like to date. I never really talk about myself on the blog – well, only sometimes. Recently I’ve been talking a little bit about myself. But what type of woman do I like to date?

I’ll just tell you straight out: if she’s under the age of 30, I’m not really that interested. I’m not interested for a few reasons. For one, I don’t really want to relive my dramatic twenties. No offense – I have friends in their twenties, I have lots of people I work with in their twenties, and I love them dearly – but I really just don’t want to relive my twenties.

It’s not that I didn’t enjoy my twenties. There were a lot of interesting moments during that decade, and moments of real growth, but I like a woman who is more – and we’ll get to this debatable topic in a second – I like a woman who is more grounded.

I like someone who is very balanced. They have a balance between their career and their passions. I’m interested in a woman who has spent a lot of time basically working on herself. A woman who has taken the time to get to know herself, and who has taken the time to really explore herself – mentally, sexually, emotionally and intellectually.

And really, this is what you are doing throughout your twenties. You’re spending your twenties exploring yourself emotionally, intellectually, sexually, and in terms of your career. You’re doing everything in your twenties.

That’s the great thing about this decade of your life. You are spending that time getting to know who you are and what you are all about. You’re defining your identity.

So when a woman is defining her identity, leave her alone and let her do that! It’s funny, because I know a lot of guys who are my age and love dating these younger women. I just have no patience for them. It’s not that I don’t like them, or that I wouldn’t be friends with them – I just don’t want to date them. I’d rather spend my time with somebody who knows who they are, about their identity, and what they are all about.

But we’re all different. Everybody is looking for something different. Khiem, who is in his twenties, dates women in their twenties. But he had an interesting emotional experience with an older woman over the weekend, and I want him to describe the difference.

Khiem: Basically, I went out this weekend with two girls as friends, not as dates. One of the women was in her forties, married, and the other one is in her mid-twenties and single. We all enjoyed each others’ company, but I ended up talking to the woman in her forties much more because she was much more self-assured.

She could speak well, she could relate to me better. I would try to bring the conversation back to the woman in her twenties as well, but she was just shyer. She was very cute, very petite, but there was something that was blocking her from really opening up.

The interesting thing for me was that while I know they both enjoyed their time with me – I took them out and showed them a great time, we had great conversations, so there’s no issue there, but after the weekend, the married woman in her forties called me to thank me for a great time. She told me how she wanted to do it again.

It was unexpected – I was taking them out because they were my friends, not because I expected anything, but she was willing to show appreciation. A lot of times, younger women don’t know how to do this. They are not secure enough in themselves to show appreciation to the men in their lives.

David: Well, and younger women also don’t really know exactly what they want yet, so they are really still sampling. A lot of them still have their expectations as well, so they don’t know when to give back or make the call. They don’t know how to reciprocate.

I hate to say this, and women in your twenties, don’t get your panties in a knot, but a lot of younger women are takers. A lot of younger guys are takers as well. They are both takers, which is fine, because at that phase of your life, you are a taker. You are learning exactly who you are. When you are learning about who you are, you’re taking things from people: experiences and other things. That’s what you’re about at that stage of your life.

Now Tony is 29, and he’s on the cusp of coming out of his twenties. What are you more attracted to now?

Tony: I would say older women – for relationships. For flings, younger women are alright, but as Khiem described, it’s difficult to have good conversations, open communication, or genuine reciprocation and sharing with younger women. I shouldn’t say you can’t – there are younger women that are exceptions. But my better experiences have been with women in their mid-thirties – even up to 40.

David: Because they are more aware sexually, and emotionally. And there are no games!

Tony: Exactly. And they appreciate guys who know what they want, and express it openly. They don’t have as many hang-ups.

Khiem: There’s a girl that I’m seeing right now in her mid-twenties, and I love helping her explore her sexuality. At the same time, I know that there are a lot of guys that don’t know how to do that. They are just into bam-bam-bam, that’s it. It takes a certain kind of man or woman to really explore that.

Tony: The cool thing with a younger woman is that you can help steward them…

Khiem: Yes, you can mold them.

Tony: And guide them, and lead them through experiences that guys their age wouldn’t be able to do. I think that’s why they appreciate older men.

David: I was always into very long sex sessions. I was never a jackrabbit minuteman. The first time I had sex I think I lost it in about three and a half seconds, but since then I’ve always been about controlling it and giving women a great experience.

I’ve never been sexually turned on unless I can really play with a woman – unless I can really give her a great experience. To me, that whole connection is really important.

But it’s so funny because I remember when I was in my twenties and the sexual experiences I had with women were just annoying. It was so inconsistent. One day they would be sexually present and have a great time, and the next night you’d be begging for sex.

Women in their twenties are still dealing with a lot of the Catholic guilt that we were talking about earlier, or upbringing stuff – they’re not yet comfortable with their bodies, and they are still comparing themselves to their friends. They aren’t yet in love with themselves because they don’t know themselves yet. We’ll talk about the Catholic guilt topic another day, because that is a HUGE subject that we get a lot of emails about.

But when it comes down to dating, I think you are where you are. Assistant Rey is 18. So he’ll date anything – he’s so fucking horny all of the time, he’s checking out the woman in the car next to us now. Rey’s at the point where he’ll date anything – 18, 19, whatever.

Khiem: Rey is the Energizer Bunny: ready to go at any time.

David: And that’s the great thing about being 18. You can pump and dump 17 times a night.

So the bottom line is: enjoy the stage you are in. Embrace where you are, and enjoy it. Just be okay with the journey that you’re presently on – it’s YOUR journey. If you’re learning – learn. If you want to develop yourself deeper – go do the things that help you to develop yourself as a deeper person.

Take the time to spend time with you and learn to be with yourself.

Todays video is all about validation.
Time to validate yourself with real confidence and not a phone number from a woman who will never call you back!