Recently, I was in New York talking to a friend of mine who is also a dating expert. We were having a conversation about women who ask for a guy’s phone number first.

When you’re on sites like Bumble, Tinder,, Plenty of Fish, and OkCupid, it seems like there are so many women that, when a man asks for her number, will say, “You know what, why don’t you give me your number first?”

You know what that tells men?

It tells me as a man that you’re a powerful female. You don’t trust men. You need to be in control at all times.

he should call firstYou’d rather have the control, the upper hand, and that’s exactly how you’re going to be in a relationship, having the upper hand. It’s important for you to have the upper hand because then nothing is going to make you vulnerable; you’ve already been hurt many times before, so this time you’re going to take control of things.

You’re going to take control of the entire dating process. You’re going to make sure you contact a guy first.

You’d probably be that type of woman to actually call them up on the phone from a blocked number. You block your number so he does not have your number to call you back.

That’s what’s wrong in today’s society.

What Happened to Men Being the Hunters?

Men need to be contacting women first, it’s the way it goes. If I had my way, there wouldn’t be any of this online dating or any of these apps at all.

Men would be the hunters.

Women would be the receivals.

Men would approach women, women would smile at men to bait them in.

People wouldn’t suffer from the disease called approach anxiety and the fear they have of each other.

People wouldn’t be buried in their phones constantly; they’d be smiling on the street because there would be no other way to meet somebody and you have that initial spark that we all so pray for that we can’t feel in pictures or swiping, or from typing.

But I am not going to have my way so I have to go with the modern flow and you have to go with the modern flow. I understand that, but you have to at least keep some of the old traditions.

A man calls a woman.

Ladies, it’s the way you’re going to find out whether this man is a real man or a pussy.

Does he call you?

Does he call you when he says he’s going to call you?

Does he text you?

Does he text you right away, are you a priority, or does he wait a month, two weeks, one week, to contact you?

It’s the first test to find out whether you’re with a man that is a real man.

You Don’t Want to Get Burned Again

If you’re controlling this based on what happened in the past, I totally understand. I am sure you’ve given out your number before and waited for men to call, and maybe they haven’t, so you probably figure that you’re going to control this.

You’ll do the calling and you’ll decide when you call him so you can get even with all the men that have burned you in the past.

It’s always going to be the group of men. It’s always going to be that man you gave your number to that doesn’t call you, or he doesn’t text you or doesn’t reach out. That’s just dating. That’s just the way life is in today’s modern world.

Even before modern dating, when men used to hunt women, and women used to give out the number, there were men that would never, ever call.

It’s just the way things are. You need to give him that first task. He’s the man. Does he call you? Does he make plans? Does he make you the priority or get to know you?

Let Him Call First to Find Out Who He Is

If you’re sitting there controlling that phone number, you, the woman who’s trying to protect herself, the woman who’s a control freak, you’re actually taking out one of the most important steps of the mating process: deciding whether or not this guy is an alpha guy, a beta guy, a passive guy, or a guy who does nothing.

You need to find out because if you don’t call him, he’s sitting back and waiting. He’s receiving that and not taking control. You’re going to be in one of those relationships once again where you’re fully in control, not vulnerable, protecting yourself, because you are wearing the pants in that relationship.

I strongly suggest you get rid of your penis when it comes down to this. I don’t care what you do during the work day and how you control things. Congratulations on your success in that way. But, when it comes to dating, get rid of the penis, allow the man to be the man, see what type of man you’re dealing with, and allow that first step to happen the way it should.