I had an interesting conversation with a lady the other day. We were talking about “shy guys” and she said to me, “I don’t get it. What is it that scares some guys so much about women? What are they so afraid of?

She’s was an attractive lady. Probably in her early 40’s and had one of those really friendly faces. She’s a pre-school teacher as well so she has an amazing energy. She’s probably one of the most approachable women I’ve met in a while. In fact, if more women were as friendly and approachable as she is, you’d all be fighting guys off!

So what ARE guys so scared of?

I speak to thousands of guys every single year, and the fears and insecurities about dating and approaching women are always the same. Do you want to know what men are REALLY thinking when they see you? Here are the 3 most common thoughts racing around their head…

“What do I say? What should I do?”

Most guys overthink everything. If they’re considering coming to talk to you, it’s because they’re attracted to you. A lot of guys instantly go into their head when they see an attractive women. Even guys who are normally super confident can freak out when they’re about to talk a woman they like.

The whole thing comes down to the fear of rejection. They want you to like them, so rather than just coming over and acting normally, they try to work out how to please you. We’re like little children in that way.

“Am I enough? She’s out of my league!”

Yep. Guys have insecurities too. They might be different to women’s in many ways, but they’re still insecurities. Some men have a habit of putting women on a pedestal. They see an attractive woman, and automatically create this fantasy about what she’s like in their head. They become so convinced you’re this amazing creature they’re unworthy of, that some guys won’t even bother to approach. I’ve seen it on my boot camps.

I’ve told guys to go and say hello to some woman on the street, and without even trying, they’ve looked at me and said, “There’s no way she’d want a guy like me. What’s the point?”

“She doesn’t want to talk right now!”

Yep, it’s the old iPhone thing again. If a guy looks at you and you’re staring into your iphone or glaring right through him, he isn’t going to approach you. Get your eyes up, look forward, and for goodness sake, smile at him.

He’s probably got butterflies the size of eagles flying around his stomach, and a little smile just shows him you’re open to a conversation.

In an ideal world, all guys would be bold and confident, and we’d have no problem approaching you. Unfortunately, a lot of guys need a little helping hand when it comes to approach. I’m doing my bit. Now you have to do yours. In the video below, you’ll hear from some great guys who share with you what goes through their head when they see you on the street.

It’s going to open your eyes!

And in the meantime, if you want to know how to connect with even the coldest and seemingly unreachable of men, then CHECK THIS OUT!