ghost david wygantI got a great e-mail from a woman today.

She asked me this:

David, I’m a seasoned dater between relationships. I still can’t figure out how you could meet a man who obviously has a connection with you—mentally and physically—and he seems excited and calls you every day, planning your weekend for your second date.

Then you go have a super fun not too intense second date, awesome chemistry, and suddenly you get an e-mail the next day saying that he doesn’t see a need to take the relationship to the next level.

What the hell was that? He was pushing things at me and things seemed great and then he pulled out. We women often want to blame ourselves and figure out what we did wrong. I can’t figure this out.


Best, Julie.

. . .

Julie, let’s flip this a little bit.

You’re a seasoned dater. You’ve been out with men before. How excited were you about some of them in the first couple of dates and then all of a sudden, just something didn’t feel right, and you weren’t quite sure what it was.

You thought you met somebody that was so great. End of the first date, you had so much chemistry, touching, kissing, and everything.

The end of the second date, you thought there was so much there. Then all of a sudden, the next day you wake up and you just feel like it’s just not going to go anywhere.

It happens all the time. The problem is, when it happens to you, you want the answer.

You want David to wave his magic wand and come up with the specific reason.

You want this answer so badly so you can finally get out of your head about it.

Women always want to know why. But sometimes there is no answer.

I’ve been out with women that I thought were amazing, and then all of a sudden they would disappear on me, but I didn’t care to know why.

All I knew was that she didn’t feel the same way and it was okay.

Would I be disappointed? Sure, for a minute. And then I would realize that there are so many other beautiful people out there to meet.

Julie, you’re a seasoned dater. You know this happens from time to time.

But in the end, you also know from being a seasoned dater that there are tons of men out in the world who do want to get to know you, and won’t disappear.

So the next time this happens, just remember that you’ve done it to men as well, and this sort of thing just happens.

There’s no explanation, except for the fact that he just doesn’t feel it.

And that’s okay.