How do you keep conversation goingSo many guys have problems keeping a conversation going. Normally the questions I get are, “How do I keep conversation with a girl flowing? What do I do if I run out of conversation?”

But today, someone actually emailed me telling me he wasn’t going to see a girl he’s attracted to again until September. He didn’t know how to deal with not speaking to her for so long, and wanted to know what he should talk to her about when she gets back!

I almost didn’t know how to answer him. To be honest I thought he was joking to begin with. Why the hell did he think he wouldn’t speak to this girl between now and September, just because she was away at college or whatever?

You text her, you call her, or you send her an email. Anyway, I decided to help the guy out because I felt so bad for him. He sounded like a really nice guy. He was probably a young guy too that’s just scared, insecure, and socially inexperienced. So I email the guy back. I give him a couple of tips. I told him to get on the phone with her, and tried to give him some confidence. What happens next? I get an email about two hours later from him.

“What should I talk to her about?” He asks.

I don’t know. I don’t know the girl. What do you talk to anyone about? Things you already have in common is a good start. What do you talk about with a friend you haven’t spoken to in a month?

You talk to them about life. How are they? How are things going for them? What’s new in their world? What are their plans?

You guys have to get out your heads when it comes to conversation. Life is a continuous conversation, and that’s all it is. Conversations can last forever if you look at it like that. When you talk to someone, remember what they’re all about so you have things to ask them about next time you see them. Talk about the things you connected on, things she felt excited about, and the things that got her animated. Make a mental note of all these things in your brain. If she talks about an art gallery opening coming up, ask her how it went. Find out how many people went, and whether the response was good. If she’s going to college, find out how the course is going and what the people there are like.

Life is a continual conversation. It really is. Try to remember things about the people you speak to, you’ll never wonder what to say, and you’ll never have to worry about running out of conversation with them. When you connect with people for real, that’s when genuine relationships begin.

How Do You Keep Conversations Going When You’ve Just Met Someone?

In exactly the same way. Listen to what they say when you start the conversation, react, ask questions, and add your own stories. As long as you’re listening to what they’re saying to you, you’ll always have something to come back to. It’s just like a game of tennis. There’s no point trying to think what shot you’re going to hit until you see how hard the ball comes back at you. There’s no point trying to think of what to say next, when you don’t know what she’s going to say to you.

Stop worrying about talking, and start listening. When you get the listening bit right, the talking comes so much easier. Pay attention to the details. Learn your basic communication skills before you worry about trying to start dating women. And you know what’s coming next too…

Work on your own self-confidence too. Practice self-love at all times. The more you love and connect with yourself, the more attractive people will find you, and the easier it gets to connect with others. It’s so much easier than you guys make out. Stop trying to re-invent the wheel, get over your social fears, and start talking!