Today I’m going to talk to you guys about conversations. Each conversation has an attractor and a retractor. There’s always a subordinate person and a power person in every conversation. Here’s the deal.

If you’re starting a conversation with somebody, you don’t want to be the subordinate person or the weak person. You don’t want to be the subordinate person because conversations are all about energy, and if you walk over to someone feeling weak or insecure then your energy will make that person perceive that you as a person are weak or insecure. Nobody wants to be in a conversation with someone who is weak or insecure.

Have you ever noticed that when you walk up to a woman (or walk up to a man if you’re a woman) and you’re not feeling great about yourself, that the conversation always goes the same way? It usually goes down the toilet in about fifteen seconds. It’s usually one of those conversations where you have to push the eject button almost immediately because the conversation is just plain not working.

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The only way you can every start a successful conversation with someone is to become the attractor. You cannot be the retractor and start a great conversation.

So before you go and approach someone, you need to feel good about yourself. I can’t stress enough to all of you the importance of self-love, feeling great about yourself and really being a person you respect every single day.

If you’re needy when you walk over to someone and start a conversation, do you know what your needy energy will do? It will repel that person, because you will be the weak person.

So how do you feel good before you have every single conversation? You can do a visualization exercise about something that you love to do, or something about which you feel great that puts a smile on your face. Put whatever that is on your SmartPhone. It can be anything that is going to warm you up and make you feel really good.

For years I’ve been saying, and I want you to really understand, how important the first impression is when you meet someone. So you really have to get yourself feeling good before you have that first meeting.

Remember that you’re the director and the star of your own movie. Would you want to watch a movie about a weak person walking up to someone and having a conversation? No, you wouldn’t.

So you’ve really got to start feeling good about yourself. All of the power to start a great conversation with someone and to attract someone starts within you. It starts with who you are as a person and how you feel about yourself.

There is no shortcut, magic pill, or go-to phrase that someone can give you that will allow you to start a successful conversation with someone if you don’t feel good about yourself as a person when you start it. If you don’t feel good about yourself, it doesn’t matter what you say.

This is so important, and I stress this all the time. Every single person who comes to one of my seminars or Bootcamps understand this principle, and they have gone on to be a master communicator.

If you walked into a business meeting and started the conversation as the subordinate person, how do you think that business meeting would go? It’s no different when you meet someone socially. So if you want to be a master communicator, understanding this principle is where it all starts.

Here’s a great video that I did on the topic as well.

Have a great weekend!