The one: The elusive one, the one that you’re supposed to be with.

The man has unlike any other man.

The man that you’re supposed to be with for the rest of your life.

The fantasy, the fairytale romance, the one.

Here’s three quick and easy tips to know if you have found the one.

1. There is no one.

Everybody you’ve ever met and everybody you’ve ever dated and everybody you’ve ever had a relationship with — or mostly everybody you had a relationship with — you thought they were the one.

The one is an illusion. The one is the one that’s the right one for you at this present moment. How long that moment lasts, nobody knows. The thing is, if you continue to stay in the story that you’re looking for the one, you’ll never find the one because you’ll be too much in the fairy tale, the story, the idea of it, being rescued.

Not having to date anyone else, not having to meet anybody else, not having to be single anymore, whatever your stories are. Your stories are the ones that usually prevent you from finding true love.

2. List:

Talk, text, be together, but listen.

The more you listen, the more you’ll realize, you’re either with one that you can be with or one that you can’t be with.

It really is that simple: get to know somebody and pay attention for 30 full days.

How do they handle things?

What do they do all day long?

How do they relate?

What do they like on the weekends?

How are they when they don’t see you?

Do they stay in touch?

Do they ask you simple questions like, how’s your day?

Are they just a talker and they don’t follow through?

Listen to what somebody is all about, get to know them, which leaves us to number three.

3. Try not to get clouded by sex so quickly.

I’m a firm believer in having sex, and it’s well worth waiting for.

I think sex is the greatest thing in the world. It’s fantastic, but the second you start having sex, your mind gets all clouded. You’re not really listening anymore, you’re being driven by hormones and the release of Oxytocin.

So to me, spend the first 30 days having getting to know one another, it’s a month of your life and that’s it.

You see, you’re listening to one another, talking to one another, actually building up a friendship, seeing how consistent somebody is. Do they call you back? Do they call you? Are they getting together? Are they making plans? Are they making an effort? Do they tell you how they feel, are they being vulnerable, are they being open? Are the communicating the way you need to be communicated to?

You see, all of these things are so important, but the thing is, the second we start having sex we cloud those things. The urge to have sex is so strong, you get so turned on by somebody. In reality, the minute you open up that sexual channel, you are ignoring the other channels usually.

Pay attention, to everything, that way when you choose the next one, it will be someone that you will actually be aligned with and actually have a chance to maybe go the distance, in life.