The other day I was talking to somebody after getting some body work done.

I had a nice conversation, she was sweet. She told me something that is deeply disturbing though and something that I’ve seen on a regular basis; I call it the modern day version of flirting.

But if I really had to call it something, I would call it: The reason why we’re so fucked up as a culture.

Sorry, had to get a little harsh with it to really get my point across.

The Sad Reality of Flirting in the Modern Bar

She told me about the other night. She went out with a group of her friends. They went to a bar.

Let’s talk about the modern bar and let’s talk about the old school bar.

The old school bar is a place where singles used to go and drink some alcohol and get some liquid courage to have the guts to talk to one another because, well, back in the olden days of pre-dating apps, for many it was about one of the only places you could meet people. Plus, alcohol was such a great thing to have when you were trying to flirt. It loosened you up a little bit. It lubricated your social nerve. And allowed you to, well, hopefully connect with somebody amazing.

We used to give out our phone numbers in a place called a bar.

And then we would go and communicate and actually set up something called a date. We would communicate via the phone, something we used to dial.

We would get on the phone and actually talk.

But that doesn’t happen anymore. Now people go to modern bars and they’re on their dating apps the whole time.

flirting modern definitionThe woman I was talking to told me she goes out with a group of her friends. They’re all in their late 20s, early 30s, and every single one of them was just sitting there literally flirting with people in cyberspace.

Checking to see who was near them on Tinder, Bumble, and Hinge.

It made me sad. I looked and I said did anybody talk to anybody? She said, you mean a real conversation?

Yeah, like a real physical conversation. Did anybody go and smile at a man? Did anybody go and approach a guy and try to get his attention?

She goes, umm, in a real conversation, like in the bar itself?

I said yes, in the bar itself, did anybody try to connect with another human being that was breathing in that bar at that moment on that Friday night.

She looked at me and she said no. We were all too into Tindering, Bumbling and Hinging and nobody really noticed the men that were around them.

As a matter of fact she said to me, I looked around the bar and I started realizing, nobody in the bar was really talking to each other. Most people had the broken neck syndrome of having their neck hooked down looking at their phone. This is what modern bar dating is.

Here’s the sad thing: The biggest complaints that people make about online dating and everything else is that when they meet somebody for the very, very first time, they feel like the person is not the person they thought they were. They’re usually not attracted to them because they can’t feel their energy.

Think about it, can you feel someone’s energy when your head is constantly in a broken neck syndrome staring at a phone?

You have an opportunity to go to a bar, even though they’ve never been my favorite place to go and meet somebody. But when you get to go to a bar, you have an opportunity to go and do what? Connect with another human being, feel their energy, feel their presence, feel who they are.

We don’t do that anymore. We’d rather take the easy way out. We’d rather go and semi-flirt with somebody on an app, meet for a cup of coffee and realize we don’t like them than actually put ourselves out there on a Friday night.

Even with liquid courage, we’re still not putting ourselves out there. This is what our society has come down to. Our society is trying to find the easy way out, but in reality, when it comes down to love, there is no easy way out. Next time you’re out and about, put the phone away and start seeing the people that are around you.