This blog was written by my friend Michelle – a hot, mother of two who is looking for a man, a real man. Listen… really listen, to what she’s saying. Her insight will give you an unfair advantage into attracting hot women.
I like a man who can pull my hair and throw me up against the wall.
I like a man who can be a man. Call me. Text me. Make a date. Make it happen.
I went on a first date a few weeks ago. I don’t go on many first dates. I don’t have the time or inclination.
I had taken a break from online dating. As a 40-something woman on OKCupid, the steady stream of 20-somethings hitting me up was starting to chip away at my soul. But as a single woman in 2015, who is home with kids often, I thought I should at least keep a toe in the online waters.
I gave Bumble a try. At least if you have a match the woman has to make the first contact. It allows you to keep the volume low if you want. I want low volume.
The problem with “swipe” sites is that you’re often working with only a few photos, an age and a location. You can end up with a long stream of “hey” texts. Boring chit chat or occasionally fun banter with guys who don’t know how or don’t want to make it happen. Snore.
A few weeks ago I matched with “French”. He had a short but somewhat pithy blurb accompanying his photos. His looks didn’t immediately make me swoon, but he had my attention. I know myself enough to know that my chemistry switch is more often flicked by less traditional “beauty” markers than just your typical “hot guy”. He had enough going on that I knew he would be hot to me if other things fell into place. He seemed interesting.
We texted. We talked on the phone. He was funny and witty and smart enough to have intelligent conversation even when the topic was light. He called me out for being boring if I hit him up with a “hey” type text. But it dropped off pretty quickly. He didn’t seem interested. I let it go.
About a week later I had a window of kid-free time that would be perfect for a short first date. I hit him up. He told me to meet him at the fountain on the corner at 7pm. I could join him on his evening walk.
I refuse to even go on coffee dates. Coffee is for girlfriends before you pick up the kids. Come on guys. Where is your sense of occasion?! It’s a date. At least there should be wine and mood lighting and heels.
But I went to meet him at the fountain. In my workout clothes. You know why? Because he told me to. I like a man who can be direct. Make it happen.
We met. We walked. We talked. We laughed. We went for a drink and a bite across the street after. He was funny enough, hot enough, vulnerable enough and dark enough to be interesting to me.
I had a curfew. Just an hour remaining before I had to get back to my kids. Things were a bit rushed at the end and I knew we could have talked for hours more.
As we rushed back to my car, you know what he did?
He pulled my hair!
I said “OMG did you just pull my hair?!” We made out. Just a little. But it was a good kiss. He said, “well isn’t this promising!”
I rushed off into the night. Back to my kids.
I could end this story here. With the lesson being to you guys out there to step up your game and make it happen. Be a man.
But that wouldn’t be entirely honest. There is a little more.
He asked me out another time, but I was sick. I asked him out on my next brief kid-free slot. He declined to be at the beck and call of my brief slots. Although he didn’t put it quite like that. Good for him.
We have talked and texted since. Sporadically. I like his style. I’d like to go out with him again and see what happens. I’d be happy to get a sitter or see him on a kid-free weekend and have a proper date. With heels.
But for whatever reason, he’s not asking and I’m not pushing. Maybe I’m not available enough for a man without children at home. Maybe he’s got his own stuff going on. Maybe his dance card is full. Or maybe, gasp, he’s just not that into me. I guess we’ll see.
You know what. It doesn’t matter. We had a good first date and it reminded me how much I like to have my hair pulled.