arging with menRecently I found out a friend of mine shared some personal information with someone. She shared something personal I blurted out when I was in venting mode. I’m not going to tell you what it was or why I was venting because that’s not important. What’s important is never to share anything you’ve heard when someone is having a moment, and NOT to take it personally.

We’re all human. We get angry. We get pissed off. We say things in the heat of the moment about people we care about. I know there are airy-fairy people out there who say, “The things you say in anger are your true feelings. You’re only saying them because you’re angry and lost control.”

The trouble is there seems to be this female code where women need to overshare things with each other to continue the drama.

You see, I’m from New York. When I get pissed at anyone, friends, business associates, anyone, I’m going to spit it out. I’m going to call someone an asshole when I feel like they’re being one. I’m going to call someone a bitch if that’s how I feel in that moment. Is it right? Probably not, but I’m only human.

I learned how my Mom reacted when I was growing up. When my Mom got angry with someone, she totally trashed them.

She’d say nasty things about them, and then 10 minutes later she’d be their best friend again. I know that’s not the right thing to do, but we’re not always right. The person I got angry with for sharing personal information, took it personally. The key is not to hold it against them.

Someone might call you a bitch or an asshole because that’s how they reacted in the moment. If they say ten amazingly nice things about you, and then one bad thing in the heat of the moment, what are you going to do? Are you going to hold it against them? Will you bring it up months later in an argument?

If you love drama, and love throwing things back in someone’s face you will. It’s amazing. I see it all the time. People get into a fight, and suddenly the women will bring something up that happened months before. Women are amazing time travelers. You love to go back in time and hop on words that were said five/six months ago.

I don’t remember things I say in the heat of the moment, nor should I be held accountable for every single word I’ve ever said. It’s impossible to hold someone accountable like that.

It doesn’t work that way in the ‘female court of law’. We’re held accountable for every word ever spoken. Men don’t do this, and to understand men you need to know this. We don’t have a male court of law. I don’t even remember things we said a month ago let alone 5 months ago. We get angry in the moment.

And it’s just that… a moment.

It’s one of the differences between the sexes. If a man says one thing in a fit of anger you can’t hold it against him. We get frustrated. We say the wrong thing. We’re human. It’s important to realize that. I see this trait in women all the time. If we said something months ago, it’s no longer valid.

Be in the moment and not in the past. How do you feel about this? I’d love to hear it. Did I trigger something inside you? Are you angry with me? Are you open?

I’d like to know.