casual sexSo, you don’t really crave or desire a relationship right now. This is a tricky place for guys. You don’t want to come off as sleazy only looking for sex or the creepy guy that preys on women.  So, what is a man to do?

What do you say to a woman on a date in order to clarify what you really want?

Well, brutal honesty works, and I’m going to share why.  Years ago, I was dating this girl named Karen. Karen was absolutely gorgeous.  At the time I was 24.  I didn’t want a relationship. As a matter of fact, it was the last thing on my mind. I wanted conquests.  I wanted notches on the headboard. Stories to tell my friends…

Sound familiar?

Yeah, I was all about my ego.  But, at that stage of my life sex was all I was ready for. Long story short. I got Karen. Karen wanted a relationship. So, what happened…

I told her I wanted a relationship. I ended up telling her a bunch of lies. And then we slept together.  And of course, right after I had the conquest, I threw her out. She was, pissed, rightfully so. The following summer, I was out at the beach with a group of friends and I saw Karen. She looked absolutely beautiful. She’d even lost a few pounds. I was stunned.

I wanted her so badly. I remembered how nice she was. I had finally reached the point where I was ready for a relationship.  So, I walked over there and talked to her.  Surprise, she was still pissed.  I thought I would be able to talk my way out of my past transgressions. I said, “We should really get together.”

She looked at me and said, “You blew your shot. David,” She tells me, “I would have slept with you. I really liked you, but you lied to me. If you had only been honest with me…”

“If you just told me that you only wanted to sleep with me, I would have slept with you and I would have respected you. Now I can’t trust you.”


That was a huge moment in my life because it was the first time I realized I could hurt another person. I remember looking at her, and seeing the hurt in her eyes.  I could have slept with her by being honest, by being open, by being real.  I could have had a friend with benefits. She was open to a lot of things, but I didn’t give her a chance.

I didn’t have to lie. I only had to be honest. So, the lesson:

If you want to sleep around, be honest and open. You’re this person you are not ready for a relationship. Let them know it’s the last thing you want.  Then, and this is important, gage her reaction. No woman, looking for a relationship, wants to hear “I’m not interested in dating you, but please have sex with me.”

However, maybe she’s not looking for anything serious either. If so, proceed to discuss what kind of relationships she is open to. Let her know you find her attractive. Be honest and she’ll respect you. Be advised, this does not guarantee a “yes.” There is no full proof way to get the girl, because each woman is different and wants different things.

If she says “no”, wish her a nice life and move on. There are 7 billion people on the planet. 51% are woman. 10% are lesbians. You do the math, but either way you slice it that leaves a lot of women you can approach. It’s not a bluff.  Be 100% honest about who you are and what you want.

Maybe you reach a point where you do want more from her, like I did with Karen. If you’re honest that door will still be open, in fact, most doors will be open because she’ll trust you.  I promise if you give it a shot your results are going to be amazing. Women are going to find you sexually desirable, trust worthy, and you might leave the door open to having a relationship.

If you’re scoffing, check online. Google a women’s blog and see what the ladies are talking about. See what they’re looking for in a man. Funny, honest, ambitious are at the top of the list. Most of you fit this bill. But you’re caught up in the game. You think you need to be a GQ model to get these women. But you don’t. There’s no secret to attracting women. Smell good, be honest, be yourself. The ladies will be coming to you in no time.