The Power of Effortless Connecting In Dating

February 13, 2017 9 Comments Men, Women Love and Connection
...the same principals work for same sex friends as it does for the amazing, incredible relationship that is about to come your direction if you follow these simple basic rules.

I want you to take a trip down memory lane right now.

And I want you to think about all the good friends that you had in your lifetime.

I want you to think about your best friend when you were in kindergarten.

Your best friend when you were in second grade.

Your best friend in seventh grade.

Your high school buddies.

Your best friend in college.

Your best adult friends.

What commonality or common theme do all these people have?

It was instant.

It was an instant connection. If you look at all the friendships you ever had that were so spectacular and amazing, you knew right away that you met somebody who was just like you.

The conversation flowed effortlessly.

You were able to talk about anything and not feel judged.

You bonded on a lot of the same issues whether it was liking recess.

Skipping gym in high school.

Getting stoned in college.

To working at the same company when you’re in your 20’s.

It was effortless. You bonded with people effortlessly.

It was almost like you were meant to meet that person, you were meant to be with that person.

The same principals happen in dating.

If you don’t effortlessly connect with somebody and feel like you’ve known them for a long time. And conversations feel awkward or forced.

You don’t jump into — if you don’t jump into each other’s lives immediately and start connecting and sharing, then guess what.

It’s not meant to be.

If the effortless connecting is exactly how it should be in dating.

It happens when you meet friends. You could be at the school meeting and all of a sudden meet another mother or father.

And immediately you bond instantly and have a friendship that develops quick and fast. A friendship that’s loving and supportive. A friendship that’s based on real. A friendship where you’re able to say whatever’s on your mind.

But then why do so many of you not date the same way?

Think about it, if you just allow and you acknowledge this, and you understand that it works with all types of friendships. All of a sudden you meet a member of the opposite sex and they become an instant best friend of yours. You immediately can’t figure out how you’ve never had them in your life before. And you immediately include them in everything and you start sharing things together and building inside jokes and having things that you want to do together. That’s effortless connecting.

But the beauty and the benefit of having this with somebody of the opposite sex is you get to do all the other things as well.

When you effortlessly connect as instant best friends.

You build a comfort, you build a safe feeling. You actually feel safe around each other.

But the amazing thing about what also can happen is you not only gained a best friend.

A partner.

But you’re also going to gain a lover, somebody who you can do amazing things to in the bedroom.

Because if you have that effortless connection.

That instant best friend feeling.

That instant all together being comfortable around that person. Then when you have intimacy between the two of you…

When you finally do make love, it’s going to be effortless. It’s going to be easy because you’re making love to your best friend.

It’s no different than all the other best friends that you’ve had in your life time. It’s no different than all the other best friends you currently have.

So, think about this the next time you meet somebody. If it’s not an effortless connection, it’s not going to be a connection because the same principals work for same sex friends as it does for the amazing, incredible relationship that is about to come your direction if you follow these simple basic rules.


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Vonnie says

2017-02-17 22:24:15

Thank you, John! What a nice thing to say to me!
John says

2017-02-15 06:57:24

Vonnie: Happy Good Looking People's day to you too! :)
Vonnie says

2017-02-14 17:15:43

Happy Valentine's Day, John! You are cuter than you think! David, you are always cute, just in a different way. Happy Hearts Day to you too!
John says

2017-02-14 17:11:54

Chrissie.., I always wish a horrible, gross STD on all the people who might be getting any on Valentine's Day. It's a tradition. (Relax.. It's just a joke.)
John says

2017-02-14 17:08:31

Yeah, like you can.
stan says

2017-02-14 14:51:05

With such a positive, winning personality it's shocking that you can't find anyone!
Chrissie says

2017-02-14 13:53:58

Come on John, stop - you are better than that. Comments like this will not help you connect with anyone. David and his team have created a platform of awesome tools to help us learn to be better versions of ourselves - and hopefully be better partners. I assume you visit this site to better yourself, as we all do - and the least we can do is support each other in this endeavor.
John says

2017-02-14 10:27:11

Since it is good looking people's day, I thought I would share an article on Jezebel, written by a woman, that confirms everything I have ever said on this site as TRUE. Sure, confidence matters, personality matters, career matters, money matters.. But you don't get to step 2 without getting past step 1. Therefore.. LOOKS ARE ALL THAT MATTERS.
John says

2017-02-14 04:46:53

Happy good looking people's day! I hope you all get crotch rot.