Do you want to know the most important co-parenting technique that couples need to have after a divorce?

It’s the support of each other’s relationship with the child or the children.

Making sure that both parents have uninterrupted time to be with the children.

Making sure that the time with each parent is uninterrupted and supported by the other parent.

Divorce is tough on kids. It’s even tougher when a child feels the need to have to pick one parent over the other.

Because when a child has to pick one parent over the other, here’s what happens…

It puts the child in the position of having to be the adult.

Kids need structure.

Kids need rules.

If the child is forced to choose between one parent or the other, it will greatly impact and effect the child’s future and how they’re going to function as an adult.

The number one thing that both parents need to do is support each other’s time with the children.

There are so many great books about this, from Two Homes for Tyler to some of the other ones that are out there on the Internet.

And books like this need to be read to a child the second the parents split up, so they understand that they’re equally loved in both homes.

That they have two separate homes.

And they are allowed to love both parents.

There are spectacular books on this topic, and I strongly recommend you read them to children if you’re going through a divorce.

I also strongly recommend, no matter what you feel about the opposite sex, about your ex…

Whether your ex left you…

Whether you’re angry about the way the ex left you…

Whether your dreams were shattered on what you thought a family is supposed to be…

Do WHATEVER it takes to make co-parenting work

I strongly suggest that you put all of your personal stuff behind, and you do whatever it takes to go get co-parenting therapy.

Because the longer the situation goes on in which a child feels that they need to be at one house more than the other, the harder it’s going to be on the child’s relationship with that other parent…

…and the more screwed up the child will be in the future.

How do I know all this? Because I’ve personally witnessed it.

I’ve seen the children who don’t sleep over at the mother’s house or the father’s house at all.

The other parent says they will support their child’s relationship with the other parent, but their actions always speak louder than words.

And their actions are this: they don’t make time with the other parent to sit down and work out a plan, a schedule for co-parenting.

No rules are set, no books like Two Homes for Tyler are being read to the child.


Co-parenting therapy rejected.

I’ve seen that nightmare play out. And because of that, I feel like I can be the messenger for all the people out there who are about to either:

A) Start the nightmare, or…

B) Get onto that train of the nightmare.

And the one who gets hurt the most is the child

The son or daughter is conflicted. You can see it over and over again if you have a conversation with them about Mommy or Daddy.

They want to spend more time with the parent, but they know why they can’t.

They’re forced into stay at her mom’s or dad’s. It’s not even the child’s choice. They’re forced into it.

Because if they child is really young, they have no choice on where they’re going to sleep. A child is told where he or she is going to sleep, whether or not there’s any anxiety around it.

You can ask them and play games with them and say, “Whose house would you rather sleep at, Mommy’s or Daddy’s?”

But it’s a joke. A child cannot make a decision like that. They need structure. They need ground rules for spending time with both parents and growing up with positive male and female models.

As a parent, you are forced into this situation.

And it’s one of the worst feelings in the world, to be alienated from your child like this.

Not only do you miss being with them…

Not only do you missing waking up next to them, making them breakfast, and doing all those fun things…

But, if the other parent is dating, you also have to hear about their boyfriend or girlfriend, making chocolate chip pancakes and buying expensive gifts, trying to show their love for your son or daughter.

So, as you embark on this journey, try to stay as sane as possible.

Your friends, if they are true friends, will support you. And that’s wonderful. You will hear things from therapists, friends, other mothers, and other fathers, with their hearts absolutely broken that you don’t get to be with your son or daughter.

All that is wonderful, but it still does nothing to change the circumstances.

Lawyers and courts are a waste of time, waste of money, waste of energy — negative energy — but, unfortunately for some people, it’s necessary. It’s necessary to force them to do what is right in the first place.

And that’s what’s really sad. When you need to force the other parent to support the relationship with the other parent.

So, if you’re going to go through a divorce or separation, I strongly suggest that you support one another’s relationship with the child.

It might be hard for the child to leave one parent’s house, but in the long run, forcing a child to do it, setting ground rules, and showing the child who’s in charge are all for the better of the child.

The worst thing about this is that you actually had the guts to leave when you realized the other person is totally wrong for you. And you did it so you did not have to suffer through a life where you were not going to be happy.

If you’ve done that, then there’s no reason for either one of you to torture one another with control over children, especially when both of you have clearly moved on.

I’ve said it a thousand times: when one relationship ends, it opens the door to another spectacular relationship — if you’ve done the work, and you’ve let go of all the anger inside.

Anyway, if you want any help on this matter, let me know. I will strongly counsel you on what to do, because the do’s and the don’t’s are very important here, because you’re looking at your child’s future.

That child is perfect and innocent in every way, but you will be looking into those innocent eyes and seeing a very troubled adult in the future. When he or she grows up, their co-dependency issues will arise and if they haven’t had a positive relationship with both parents, they won’t have a positive relationship with both sexes.

That’s how it works. You can ask any developmental psychologist.

So if you are going through this nightmare, I am here to help all of you get through it.