You know what I’m thinking?
What makes me so successful in flirting with women on dating apps, when so many other people just can’t seem to get a right?
Am I that much better of a communicator than most people?
Am I that much better at flirting with most people?
Most likely, because this is how I make my living.
I am not saying this to make you feel comfortable at all, or to build myself up. This statement is not coming from my ego at all.
It is coming from speaking matter of factly, which is how I am.
You see, I truly believe that anybody can successfully talk with anybody else if they just imagine it being a conversation with old friends.
I don’t make a big deal of a conversation. I am not trying to create attraction. I’m not thinking to myself that this is going to be the person that I am dating.
I am literally just passing time to see what they’re all about. I don’t know who they are. I don’t know what they’re about at all. As a matter of fact, I’ve never met them, but I have always acted like I have known them for a long time.
Ask them how they’re doing today, what was the highlight of your day. I don’t need to say anything clever, especially if they have nothing in their profile. I want to get an idea of who they are, because once I have an idea of who they are, I just have a normal conversation.
The other night, this woman told me that she was zoning out to a movie. So, like two old friends just shooting the shit I said hey, “what movie are you zoning out to tonight? I tried to watch the movie Arrival. It didn’t resonate with me. I decided to read a book and listen to music instead.”
It doesn’t sound like thrilling dating conversation at all. It sounds like two old friends passing their time texting while one watches a movie, and the other reads a book.
At no time am I thinking about creating attraction, or saying anything sexual to try to get them to be excited about me. That’s a guy thing. Men always want to know when to sexually escalate with a woman.
The reality is, I am honestly just saying nothing, but talking to them like I have already known them. Because that is how you bond with somebody. If you make it simple and easy, they’re going to feel like they have known you for a long time, and the conversation is just going to flow.
Psychologically, we want to be able to meet somebody that we have never met before, but feel like we have known them forever.
That is how I handle it.
I always get their phone number and call them on the phone, and talk to them like I have known them for a long time. How do I do that? I repeat some of the things that we were talking about via text. When I speak to them, I’ll literally use their name and go “oh my God, finally, we have been trying to talk for a few days. All of these texts, what’s up with our relationship?”
I like to make people feel at ease, and I believe that a conversation is just a conversation amongst friends. Because in reality, that is what we are looking for.
Our best friend.
A best friend that I was going to have great sex with.
A best friend with whom I can fall in love, and I can share things with, and the only way it starts is if you take the easier approach. The attraction is going to build. The second the two of both of you feel safe, sound, and secure around one another. The only way to do that is to be real.