Twas The Night Before Christmas
By David Wygant

Twas the night before Christmas
and all through my house
not a creature was pacing
not even a Hey Booms

The Daphne was snuggled all nestled in her doggy bed
while visions of tennis balls flew through her head
and my Mother in Connecticut had just settled down in her kerchief . . .

Since my Mother does not wear a kerchief, this is where the story ends and the blog begins.

I want to take this opportunity to wish all of you a Merry Christmas. For those of you who don’t celebrate Christmas, then Merry whatever.

I wish I could thank every single one of you personally for the amazing contributions you’ve made to the blog. I’ve recorded this podcast as a Christmas gift to you all. [CLICK ON THIS LINK] to listen to my Christmas podcast. Of course I might be talking about last-minute hookups . . . as some of you may still be out in the malls even though they’re closed today.

Some of you may be alone this holiday season. Some of you may have your kids. Some of you may have met somebody new, and you had to pretend you liked their gift this morning when you opened it.

Some of you may have dogs who lifted their leg on your tree. Hopefully none of you have had a squirrel that ran up your tree and had your uncle played by Randy Quaid . . . well, you all know what happened in “National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation” (one of the best movies ever!)

Take today as a day to reflect on and appreciate everything that’s happened to you in your life during the course of 2007. If you feel alone today, don’t sweat it because tomorrow is the day after Christmas.

If you get up at 4:00 am you can go to the mall . . . I actually heard some of the sales start at midnight, which I find repulsive. There’s no need to go to Foley’s at midnight to get an umbrella for 99¢ instead of it’s retail price of $1.99. As usual, though, Americans will be migrating to the mall tomorrow trying to return that ugly sweater that Grandma gave them or the crocheted pillow their mother thought would look good on their modern sofa.

As Americans flock to the mall on the day after Christmas, you can flock there too. It’s a great day to meet people.

All you need to do is look at them, look at their shopping bags, and say “Were you not happy with what Santa gave you for Christmas?” Say it with a smile. Say it with authority. Be playful about it. If you do all that, you will meet people the day after Christmas.

So if you’re feeling lonely today, have no fear because the craziest shopping day of the year is upon you tomorrow. When you hit the mall or the stores, you’ll wish for the solitude you are having right now. As for me, let me borrow some of the words of Tiny Tim and say “Merry Christmas Everyone!”

Heres hoping your Christmas dinner is better than this one.