I was sitting around the other day and thought.

So many men and women head to the bars on a Friday night with some really high expectations.

Not only that, with some really bad advice on how to meet each other.

So I called Shogo up and since he was and still is a Bartender in one of the nations hippest cities, he would be the man to give all of you some great advice to succeed in bars.

Or as so many people call it. Night Game.

When I hear the term night game I picture lights like in a baseball park over your head and a crowd of fans cheering you on.

Every Friday, we will explore the magic of nights.

Without any more fanfare here is Shogo’s thoughts for today.

Hey guys, Shogo here.

As you regular readers of the blog know, David Wygant is not the biggest fan of going out to bars and getting drunk on the weekends just to meet new people. And to be quite honest, I agree with him. If you’re looking to meet new people to go on dates with, to find someone you actually connect with and have something in common with, bars and clubs may not be the best place for you to do that. It really depends on the person. Plus, getting wasted on $10 vodka tonics just to get up the courage to talk to some girl or have some drunk dude hit on you in a crowded sweaty room doesn’t exactly scream “romance.”
But I do know that for a lot of us, especially the younger generation, going out on the weekends is just another part of being a social person. It’s another way to get out there, to gain confidence in yourself, to practice your communication skills, and really just meet a variety of new people.

Approach This Woman, Do You Have The Game To Do It?

Guys, I’ll let you in on something: a bar is not my favorite place to hang out, but I’ve been going out to bars for a long time, all over the world. I’ve been a bartender. I’ve managed bars. I know the ins and outs. I haven’t cracked any secret code, and I don’t have a miraculous system for you to memorize. What I have is a TON of real-world experience and knowledge to share with you guys to really help you make sense of the “Friday Night Bar Scene” that can often be very confusing and intimidating. And with all the information circulating on the internet, sometimes it can just get even more

So we’re starting a new tradition here on the blog! Each and every Friday, to get you guys ready for the weekend, I’m going to give you tidbits of real information designed to help you understand and navigate the waters of the weekend bar scene. Feel free to share your own experiences, you can react, you can add to what I say, and feel free to disagree with me too. I’m looking forward to reading your comments!

You know it’s funny, every time I’m out with clients at a bar, they inevitably ask me what my “strategy” is for meeting people at a loud noisy place full of drunk people. I’ve never had a strategy. Never needed one. My only “strategy” is to be a little different than everyone else.

How do I do this? How do I act different? When I go out, I’m friendly to everyone. If you’re friendly with everyone, you actually are being different. If you’re friendly, you’re going to have a good time and people around you will start to open up to you.

The bar scene really is a very odd phenomenon. For some reason, people get the urge to become unfriendly the minute they walk into a bar. Friday Happy Hour, everyone’s having fun and being cordial. Friday night at the restaurants, people are having a good time and socializing. Then all of a sudden, once 10 pm hits and people get all dressed up and set foot into bar or club—BAM! Like clockwork, people start getting all tense and take on a fake air of coolness.

People huddle in their groups and get a really stiff, serious face. I call this the “Friday Night Game Face.” Guys and girls both, we’re all guilty of this. We have to put our game faces on, because, God forbid anyone catch us off guard not appearing ridiculously, ridiculously good-looking. God forbid we let loose a little and actually have a good time.

The truth is that we all want to have a good time when we’re out. We all want to let loose and meet new people. We all want to be approached. What’s really going on here is that most people are just insecure and afraid to make the first move. Everyone’s afraid that if they fail, they’re going to look stupid in front of the crowd. Everyone’s egos are so inflated on Friday nights that it’s suffocating.

Last weekend I went out with two clients to a large bar that had a lot of dancing. Inevitably they asked me what kind of strategy we should use, even after I told them that our strategy is called “be friendly and have a good time.” With that I walked over to two girls and introduced myself. One of the girls mumbled something and immediately pulled out her iPhone and started furiously texting away. I looked at her, looked at her friend with a smile and a wink, and said, “Well, I’ll talk to you guys later,” and turned away. I turned to my clients and said, “No biggie, those girls just had their Friday night game faces on. Let’s go find some friendly women.” And we did. But lo and behold, about 15 minutes later, the same two girls ran up to us like they were our best friends and we all had a great time.

What really happened here was that these two girls actually wanted to talk to us. They wanted to get to know us, but most people have their game faces on and are just not friendly. They just needed someone to show them that there are friendly people who don’t care about the competitive weekend bar attitude and who they can just let loose and have fun with. They probably went to the bathroom together and said, “Hey, that guy who approached us actually seemed really nice. He was confident and he wasn’t pushy. Let’s go talk to him!”

So what do you need to do this weekend? You need to leave all that game face crap at the door. Understand that people may look unfriendly, they may look like they don’t want to be approached, but it’s really just an act. You need to take the initiative and show others that it’s ok to come out and take off the game face. Be friendly right from the get-go. Smile. Show that you’re not in competition for “who’s cooler than who,” that you don’t really care about all that and you’re just having a good time and out to meet new people.