How many times have you gone out with your friends and told yourself that you don’t really care if you meet a man that night.

But yet, there are men that are walking in and out of the restaurant; men that you see at the bar, men that you see at tables, and you think to yourself, “Why do these men not approach me?”

Well, do you want to know why they’re not approaching you?

It’s because you’re not approachable.

It’s because of your attitude going in: you’re just there to have a good time with friends, and you don’t care if you meet men.

And that’s a great attitude. That’s the attitude that I always have when I go out with my friends. I don’t care if I meet women; I’m just going to go have a good time.

But I add a little extra to that.

I know that there will be women all around me when I go out, so if a woman crosses my path that I find attractive, I’m going to use this mindset:

She and I are both in the same place at the same time. My job is to engage her in a conversation, to see whether or not there’s any type of attraction. That way, then, she doesn’t become a what-if.

The what-ifs are the men that were potential relationships that never became anything. The what-ifs stick in your mind and ruin a lot of things that we have going on in dating.

So when you’re out and about, instead of thinking what-if, just start visualizing how great it would be to talk to that guy. And when he looks at you the next time, instead of  wondering when he’s going to approach, you make yourself approach first.

Or if you don’t have the vagina to do that, do anything you can to make the guy come over and talk to you: smile, wave, say hello if he walks by you.

Make yourself available.

By making yourself available, you’re going to control your own life, and you’re not going to play the what-ifs. You’re going to bring men to you.

You want to go meet a great man—it’s up to you. It’s not up to him to come running over to you. Otherwise, he’d have already been here.