A post about Radical Honesty by David Wygant

I was on a plane the other week going to and from New York City. It seems like I’m always on a plane to New York City . . . American Airlines flight 22 leaving LAX at 11:00 a.m. and arriving at JFK at 11:25 p.m.. “Is there any chance I can get an upgrade today?” I always ask the not-so-friendly woman working the counter at LAX. I always get the same response: “No room in first class.” So, I guess it’s another flight in coach with all the common people like myself.

So here’s something interesting. While I was on the plane I was reading in detail an article about a book I’ve spoken about several times on the blog. The book is titled “Radical Honesty” and is written by a psychologist named Brad Blanton, Ph.D. The person who wrote the article was talking about how Brad Blanton uses this “radical honesty” in order to meet women.

How do all the women who read this blog feel about a man who walks over to them and says “I saw you from across the street, and wanted to come over and see if you’d like to have a cup of coffee?” How do women feel about men being that honest and that bold? That’s a tough approach for men to make. I’ve made it and it works. It’s called the direct approach. It’s cutting through the bullshit and being honest right from the get-go.

Another one I’ve used is when I’ve seen a woman at a bar or at a party and I’ve said “I’m about to leave, but I noticed you and I’d really like to have a drink with you some night.” If I feel any hesitation in her, I’ll say “Think of it as a blind date but we’ve seen each other. I’ll call you, we’ll see if we connect If no, then no harm done.” I like that approach . . . it’s really honest.

Not only is this approach honest, but it’s challenging her. You’re basically telling her that you have no idea if you’re going to connect with her either. That’s very intriguing. These are things that I’ve done . . . and they work.

The “Radical Honesty” author likes to take it a step further. He likes to ask a woman out for a cup of coffee, and then the minute they sit down for a cup of coffee he likes to say to her “The only reason why I asked you out for a cup of coffee is so I can have sex with you.” That’s where “radical honesty” becomes really different. That’s where it becomes raw.

Most people (both men and women), even if they’re thinking something like that, are rarely going to say it out loud. Most people are not going to be that honest with somebody, and tell a person they don’t know that the only reason they approached them was to have sex with them. That is not only gutsy, it’s radically honest.

When I was in my early twenties and living in New York City, I had a summer share house in the Hamptons. A friend of mine taught me a really interesting thing. He said “Instead of chasing the young women this summer, why don’t you be radically honest and tell the older women what you want.” This was my first experience with cougars and sabretooths.

I watched this guy walk over to women in the bar and leave the bar with those women fifteen minutes later to go to their house. His line was “Let’s cut the bullshit. I’m young, you’re slightly older. I know that I can satisfy you all night long, and I also know that you would love to have sex with a young guy who can last all night long.” Pretty radical . . . and honest.

So when I was 23 years-old and I started doing that, it worked more often than not. It worked because of the confidence with which I carried it off, and the honesty in the way I said it. No games. No bullshit.

Now am I suggesting that you do the same thing? It all depends on how honest you want to be. The message here is not about being honest just to get laid.

The deeper message here is that if you stop lying in your encounters with the opposite sex, you won’t have to remember anything. It’s the people who lie and make up stories who always have to remember what they made up.

People who are radically honest just have to remember who they are. So apart from any book or article you might read, or even apart from my blog, what you need to do is start to be honest with yourself and honest with everyone else.

No manipulation game is going to make someone want you long-term. It’s time to embrace yourself and develop your own version of being radically honest.