I had a very interesting email this morning from a younger guy in the community. He said he didn’t mind me sharing his “problem” with everyone, so let’s see what you guys think. So the email said:


My teacher flirts when she catches me looking at her. She plays with her hair, licks her lips a little etc. I think she knows I have the “hots” for her, and she knows I like it. Is it wrong? I’m 20 and she’s 35. What should I do?  I don’t want to ruin her career.



Ok my boy…

Since when does playing with her hair mean that she actually likes you? Did you read that somewhere on the Internet? Some women just play with their hair because they’re naturally flirtatious. And if you think about it, you could be creating the scenario in your head.

She might be bored. She might be single.  She might like the fact that her dirty little naughty student is staring at her and she’s getting off on it.  She might like teasing you, so she might actually be playing with her hair a little bit and staring back at you, knowing that she’s got the power to tease you and she’s just doing it to be playful.

Or she might just be playing with her hair because it means absolutely nothing!

So what do you do in this type of situation?  Don’t worry about ruining her career.  Why would it ruin her career? If she actually chose to sleep with you, she made the choice as an adult. It’s not like you’re 14 years old. You don’t have the power to ruin anyone’s career.

If you’re attracted to her, flirt with her. Talk to her after class. Walk with her. Talk to her as a person. Get to know her a little bit and see what happens.  

The same could be said for an office romance. You could have a woman working with you that stares at you all day long. She might play with her hair, cross her legs seductively, or smile whenever she catches your eye. What are you going to do in this situation?

Well, once again you’ve got to tread carefully because you don’t want to ruin your job, but in reality attraction can happen at any time. The powerful thing about attraction is it strikes without warning and you have to act on it. See what happens. You’re two consenting adults. It’s no different if a teacher decides to sleep with a student. Two consenting adults are making that decision.

If two people at the office decide to hook up and sleep with each other, it’s two consenting adults. That’s what it always is. You’re not ruining somebody’s career.  You don’t have that power because they’re making that choice along with you. If it’s safe, legal, and feels right, why the hell shouldn’t you?