young-confident-womanAttention approval­-seekers: this is for you.

Approval-seeking is a disease that seems to run in the world today.

Think about it. Mark Zuckerberg of Facebook has made tens and hundreds of billion dollars on approval­-seeking. Facebook is built on approval­-seeking. Everything is a like. Everything is an emoticon.

Our whole society is build on approval­-seeking. When did this start? It starts the second you go to school. The second you’re with friends. The second a friend doesn’t give you the attention you need or picks another friend to be their best friend. You wonder what you did wrong.

That one second starts changing the beauty of who you are because you start seeking other people’s approval.

But approval-­seeking is a very dangerous thing to do, because it means that you constantly give your power away to other people. You care more about what other people think than how you think about yourself.

I know what it’s like. I mean, I’m definitely guilt of approval-seeking. We’ve all done it. We’ve all sought approval from people. We sought approval from our parents. We sought approval from friends. We sought approval from coworkers. We sought approval from lovers. It’s a human trait.

But it’s one that you need to get rid of, and you need to stop caring. You see, you only want people in your life that like you for who you are. Because that’s what a healthy relationship is all about. A healthy relationship is all about having somebody who really enjoys and likes you for who you are. Who sees you for the amazing being that you are.

When you’re seeking the approval of other people, you’re constantly living your life for others. You’re constantly living in fear that people won’t like you, so you become afraid to speak your mind because you think the things that you have to say are going to be squashed.

You’re looking for validation too much on social media and Facebook. You feel good when someone likes you virtually, but it’s only virtual self masturbatory approval. It’s not the way the world works.

You see, the world works this way: some will like you, some won’t. So what?

There are a lot of people who are not going to like you. I remember when I first started in this business a long time ago. I was on the home page of Yahoo Personals. I got so many comments, it was unreal.

You should have seen the stuff people said about me. Nasty things. You should read my YouTube comments. Nasty stuff.

But I don’t care.

Why don’t I care? Because, to me, it’s getting to that quick no. You see, I want to get to that quick no as soon as possible. I only want people around me that want to be my friend for who I am. My flaws, my mistakes, everything. I want to be able to show my thorough self.

So, if you’re constantly approval-seeking, you’re never going to be able to show your true self at all. As a matter of fact, you’re not going to be able to show anything to anybody, because you’re literally going to spend your entire life trying to please others and you’re never going to be able to speak your truth. You can’t live your truth if you’re approval seeking at all.

So figure out where it comes from: Who fucked you up in childhood? Was it mom? Was it dad? Was it a high school experience? Was it a grammar school experience? Somebody or something did.

And then only at that point, think to yourself: Who do you want to be with? How do you want to speak your mind? And start speaking your mind and want the different people you attract in your life. You might lose some friends, but that’s okay. There’s nothing wrong with that, because you’ll start making new friends. You’ll start making friends based on real connections instead of approval-seeking connections.