Dear David,

Everything is going great with all your products. I’m meeting tons of women. I can talk to anybody now. But I still freeze up when it’s time to ask for “her” phone number. I’m think I’m still caught up in the outcome. I know you tell us all the time to just ask out a woman, for practice, to get used to it, but just I can’t do it.

How do I get past this?

— Joe

. . .

sara with my bagel david wygantJoe, do exactly as I did.

Here’s the deal:

Every man goes through this. They get to a point where they’re so good at talking to woman, they can chit-chat anybody up. They can talk to any woman. Women are responding to them. It feels good. But then you seem to leave each interaction with a “nice talking to you”, or a “see you soon.”

The awkward moment.

And then you go home and you think to yourself, “Man, was she interested in me. What were the signs? Could I have asked her out? What should I have said?”

You go through all that rigmarole inside your head, and you start realizing that it doesn’t matter what the signs are. If you’re going in, and you’re having a great conversation, then you need to claim her as a man, and you need to get into that habit of asking women out.

Forget about rejection. As you know, and I cover this in all my products, rejection is a made-up word. It doesn’t exist. This woman may say no. She may say yes. She may say maybe.

But it doesn’t matter what she says. Because it doesn’t mean that you’re not a great, fantastic, awesome man.

It just means she’s not interested in you in that way–so who cares? At least you closed the “people transaction”, as I call it.

You need to just ask them out. That’s what I did.

I remember my 24th birthday. I was walking the streets of Manhattan, and I challenged myself.

I said to myself, “The first hot girl that I chit-chat up today, I’m going to ask for her phone number no matter what.”

So, on my way to H&H Bagels on 80th and Broadway, I see this absolutely stunning blonde walk out of the store.

Once again,  I thought to myself, “All right, David, enough of the bullshit. It’s time to honor your commitment that you made to yourself today.”

So, as I’m walking towards her, I begin to observe. She’s got a bag with the H&H logo on it.

So, I look at her, and I say, “What kind of bagel did you get for me?” with a big smile on my face. She looked at me, grinned and said, “I’ve got sesame or poppy. Which one do you want?”

Caught me completely off guard!

I stumbled a bit and said, “Uh, look, I’m going in there. I don’t need to take your bagel.”

She said, “No, I’ll feed you. Which one do you want?”

“Sesame. You got cream cheese?”

She laughed, opened it up, and put cream cheese on my bagel. We both took bites from it and chit-chatted back and forth.

I looked at her, and I said, “Listen, I got to run to the beach with a friend and I’ve got to pick up some bagels. What are you doing later? Why don’t we hang out?”

She said, “Sure, I’d love to.” And she gave me her phone number.

I did it. My lip was quivering, my cheeks were all red, but it didn’t matter. I overcame my fear, and I committed to what I told myself I was going to do.

So anytime you meet a hot woman that you have good conversation with, ask her out. Get used to it. You’ve got to get comfortable asking women out, so when you find the one that really gets your blood flowing, you won’t get stuck in your head thinking about what to do.

You’ll just do it.

So get to it.