Get Out Of My Bed!
By David Wygant

It’s a Friday night. You were feeling oh so lonely, and you finally decided to give in to the person to whom you were just not that attracted. You figured, why not? I’m breathing. They’re breathing.

You think “How bad can it be? I’ll invite them over. We’ll have a few drinks. They’re a nice person. I may not be attracted to them, but once we’re naked and the lights are out it sure beats masturbating.”

You know this is the wrong thing to do, but you convince yourself otherwise. So you pick up the phone and dial 1-800-iamnotthatinterestedinyou to come over and share a session of bodily fluid exchange.

So you make the call. They are really excited and you’re really excited. They come over, they knock on the door, and they come inside.

You convince yourself that they look good tonight, and that you actually made the right decision. So you drink a couple glasses of wine and catch a buzz. As each minute passes, they look better and better and you feel that you really did make the right decision.

So you go to the bedroom, you dim the lights, you get naked, and you attack one another at a feverish pace. Everything is going great. You’re thinking “This is going much better than I thought. I actually think I might like this person!” Then all of the sudden, the dreaded moment comes:


Right after this moment you look down at this person, and all of a sudden they look worse than they ever did to you. You try not show them the post-cum terror face.

So you think “Maybe if I just lay down, everything will be fine.” So you roll off of them and lay down . . . and your mind starts racing. All you can think about is:


Your mind starts to scream at you: “What did I do?! I should have masturbated. I just bought some new oils . . . it would have felt kinda like it. But no! I had to feel lonely. God, I want to chew my arm off right now!”

Now your mind races even more.

How long are they going to want to stay?
They are not going to want to do this again, are they?!
What if they want to spend the night? I’ll be forced to see what they look like in daylight

Panic overwhelm you. All you want to do is scream and run for the hills.

You swore you would never do this again . . . but here you are again having this post-cum nightmare feeling.

You just gave in to sleeping with someone to whom you were not attracted. So, how do you avoid doing this?

You can either become a chronic masturbator (which I wrote a blog about a few months ago, or you can challenge yourself to meet people who are out of your comfort zone so you can actually have sex with people to whom you’re attracted. What a novel and great idea!

I don’t know about you, but strive every day to meet people with whom I have a great connection. Do you want to join me? Together we can go out and meet all the people we’re most attracted to so we never feel like chewing our arm off ever again.