Rejected after sexI got an email from a woman named Sara the other day. In her email, she describes the type of man none of you should ever be. I’ll read you her email, and then I’ll explain.

Hi David,

I’m stressing. I had sex last night with a guy on our second date. I really liked him. I didn’t ask him up front if he was just looking for sex or an actual relationship. But after we had sex, he just stood up and told me to give him a call later. Now I’m not sure where to go with this. I need to know what I should say. Should I keep it cool? Do I tell him I had a great time with him last night? I don’t know if I should ask whether he’s just looking for something casual or a relationship. I’m so lost right now. I hope you get this soon.


First of all guys, never be an asshole like that guy. Don’t ever behave like that toward a woman. Who jumps out of bed, and on his way out the door says, give me a call later?

You just had sex with the woman. You’re the man. Make her feel comfortable about what just happened. You text her later. You call her later. You tell her you had a great time later. You make her feel good for giving it up. Just read that email from her again.

Look how crazy she’s going. She sent it to me in the afternoon on a Saturday. Imagine how she felt on the Saturday night when she went out with friends. Imagine how she felt on the Sunday when the guy didn’t call. It’s down to a man to take the lead in a relationship. We’re the ones who need to make her feel comfortable with the fact she gave us sex. It’s down to us to make her feel wanted and desired.

When a real man has sex with a woman and isn’t looking for a relationship, he calls her the very next day and tells her. He doesn’t leave her hanging. A man communicates what he wants. A man makes it clear so women aren’t in any doubt where they stand. You need to work on your follow-up skills. As for Sara…

I sent her an email and told her she needs to find a real man. I told her the next time she goes out and meets a man, to ask him what he’s looking for before she has sex. Ask him if he’s looking for a relationship or a bit of fun. Obviously, he could lie and say he’s looking for something serious because he wants to get laid. But it gives her half a chance to read the situation better.

So guys, if you’re about to have sex with a woman, have the courtersy to be open and honest about what you want. Tell her she’s amazing and you had a great time, and be the one that picks up the phone and states his intentions. It’s not about old fashioned values. It’s about being a strong, confident, authentic, and real modern day man!