I’m going to give you a short, fast perspective on dating. Something you can read so quickly and read over and over again that will literally empower you with every new person that you bring into your life.

These two simple steps are what I use every single day in my own personal dating life.

I call it the 30 day barometer and the 90 day barometer. But to me they’re about collecting information. Literally like you’re in a lab and the lab is yourself and that other person. It’s the collecting information stage.

1. The first 30 days.

I know you’ve met somebody and you think they’re great.

You’re hot for them. They’re saying the right things. They’re pushing the right buttons, that makes things a little foggy at times.

We all want that. We all need that. We all desire that.

But here is what you need to do. Those first 30 days are crucial. Great that they’re pushing the right buttons, I’m happy for that. Great that they’re being authentic and real, that’s fantastic. But you need to collect as much information as possible.

You need to be texting back and forth. You need to be having phone conversations. You need to see how they deal with conflict.

When they vanish for five, six, seven hours and don’t get back to you. You need to find out where they’ve been, meaning how do they reconnect with you again.

Do they talk about themselves? Do they ask about your day? Do they apologize for being silent? Whatever it might be. Because you want to find out all their behaviors. Because when people live their life, we live our lives in monthly cycles.

So, you’re seeing who they are. They may have gone out one day with friends and they don’t get back to you till midnight that night. And they share about their day and they ask about yours. And they tell you, God, they are sorry they didn’t connect earlier but they were so into the day with their friends and they were so present. That’s beautiful because that’s going to give you information about how their going to react with you.

That’s how they’re going to react with you. That’s how they’re going to be with you. That’s how they’re going to act with you. That’s how they’re going to connect with you.

How do they act when they had a bad day at work. Do they reach out, do they connect. Do they go funky. Whatever it might be, you want to learn and you want to collect the information.

Which leads us to number two.

2. The 90 day cycle

If they’ve made it past the 30 day cycle, you’re now in what I call you’re first season together. So, once again, the sex is starting to come in, you’re starting to have sex which usually clouds your judgement.

But what happens during this stage is such a beautiful time because you get to see how they are over an extended period of time. How they handle things. How they deal with things.

It’s the same thing and you need to collect information. And when something doesn’t feel right, you need to literally, say something. This is the time when you are expressing what your needs, wants, and desires are but also challenging them on certain things. Also, communicating things so you have a relationship that’s based on communication.

The collecting information stage sounds so technical but it really isn’t. Because we all want that love relationship, sometimes we just need to be a little more tactile than emotional.