emotional affairToday, I want to go over the definition of cheating. A lot of you cheat and don’t even realize you are doing it and then get angry when a guy cheats. There are three ways to cheat and we’re going to go through all of them, but first an example.

Jennifer wrote in:

I have a question for you David. I’ve been flirting back and forth with a guy for some time now. We are both in a relationship with someone else. Just today, he said to me that I scare him, but in a good way. I was wondering what he could mean by this.” 

Emotional Cheating

Jennifer, you’re cheating.

You’re having an emotional flirtation, and you don’t want to acknowledge it. When a man says you scare him in a good way it mean you’re starting something new. He’s falling for you.  Think about the interactions you’ve had with this man. I’m guessing you touch him a lot, laugh at all his jokes, give him advice on everything from his girlfriend to his job.

Do you spend as much time with him as you do with your boyfriend?

If you’re wondering how I know, it’s all in your email. What you’re concerned about is what his statement means, which signals to me you’re interested in him romantically. You’re not concerned about how your boyfriend feels.  You’re concerned about finding the replacement to the man that you are cheating on.

The two of you are having an emotional affair and he’s attracted to you. He doesn’t have the balls to break up with his girlfriend unless you give him the validation that it is okay. He doesn’t want to be alone. It’s called an emotional affair. It’s one of the most common affairs out there. When people are involved in a relationship and it’s not going well they start to look for someone to make them feel good. They need to feel wanted and desired.

I’ve heard women try to defend this behavior by saying it’s not as bad as physically cheating, but they’re lying to themselves.  It’s no different than a physical affair. You just haven’t gotten to sex yet. But it’s only a matter of time.

Opportunistic Cheating

You know there’s a big difference between going out with your girlfriend flirting with guys and going out by yourself and flirting with guys. Feeling the desire, getting physically turned on when you’re flirting, thinking what it would be like to be with somebody else while you’re significant other, is back home watching the kids or just watching a movie.

This is another version of cheating, Opportunistic Cheating.  You go out and flirt with any guy you choose. You hide your wedding ring and tell yourself you’re just having fun. In reality this is just another way to avoid problems in relationship. You’re making yourself feel better. You’re not considering your partners feelings.

You’re also not considering the man you’re cheating with. You’re not going to call him back. You’re leading him on.  You’re avoiding the truth about the relationship, and you’re denying the inevitable end.

Online Cheating

Online cheating occurs when you’re in a relationship and you put yourself on a dating site. This is so you can figure out whether or not you are still attractive. You want to make sure you still have it. A lot of people like to test the waters before they break up. So they put themselves on online dating sites in another state to see whether or not they get responses.

They start flirting with people. They open up a different e-mail account, and start flirting with everyone who contacts them. Maybe they have a Skype call, they text somebody, they take it a little further just to make sure when they break up they’ll have options.

There are many different versions of cheating but this is the top three. I know a lot of women are going to read this article and start searching their husband’s inbox, or their lover’s mailbox, and look for another e-mail account because women are snoops and women who are curious. Try talking to your partner first. Snooping and lying are the fastest ways to ruin a relationship.

Have them read this article. Let them know, you know all the forms of cheating not just sex and you’ll accept none of it. If you find yourself cheating on your partner, break up. You’re not in it for the long haul. Don’t waste another day hurting your partner when you could be out there living the single life.