dating tips for divorceesIt’s not often I focus on dating tips for divorcees, but I’ve had a little influx of emails from wonderful women like YOU, so this one is for you. When I get emails from divorcees, they quite often go something like this…

“Hi David, I’m a divorced single parent in my 40’s. The thing is I met my husband in High School, and I’ve never dated as an adult. I have no idea where to start and no idea what I’m doing. Help!”

One of the funny things about it is they always tell me they feel like a teenager again. Well, things are a little different when you’re dating as an adult. We may text like teenagers. We might be nervous like teenagers. But that’s as far as the similarities go. You need to follow certain steps when you head back into the dating world as a divorcee. Let’s have a look at them…

1. What did you learn – The first thing you need to do is write down all the things you learned from your marriage. What went wrong? What mistakes did you make? Then you need to write down what you want from a new relationship. How do you want to give love? How do you want a man to love you? What sort of relationship do you want? Write down exactly what you want. Let your imagination run wild. If the perfect man was out there, what’s he like?

2. Get your head right – You need to have a fresh, clean mindset. Don’t start worrying about meeting someone, or freaking out about whether you’ll be “left on the shelf.” Accept that for now you’re single. You have an opportunity to meet a new man, to experiment, and to learn wonderful things about yourself along your journey to love.

Dating is all about figuring out who you are, what you want, and how you can show up for love. It’s important you spend time getting your head around your new freedom, and your new situation. You also help this process by writing down what you want from a man. Once you have an idea of what you want you can start to go out and find it. Have fun with it. Meeting people is fun. Dating is fun. Let your hair down and relax. Take the pressure off yourself.

3. Learn the power of next – When you’re a “dating divorcee” you need to start to embrace the power of the word, NEXT. Not every man you meet is going to be right for you. You won’t connect with every guy you date. You might run into some players, and you might have to kiss some frogs on the way. You might even have to face a little upset. It’s completely normal, and it’s all part of the dating process. If things don’t work out, all you do is puff out your chest, and say the magic power word, “Next!”

If he’s not right for you, move on. It gives you a great chance to learn more about yourself. Kick back and have fun. That’s what dating is all about!