the truth about loveRecently, I’ve been talking a lot about surrendering to life and love. Now I want to talk about the importance of stating your truth. Do any of you really know your truth? Do you know how you want a man to treat you? Do you know the kind of man you want in your life?

Forget about all the superficial things he needs to be. It doesn’t matter if he’s tall, short, or bald, whatever. But let’s talk about the truth here. A lot of you aren’t in a long term relationship or marriage because you lie to yourself. You lie to yourself every single day. You’re in these relationships with men you think you can be happy with. In fact, recently a woman I’ve been working with realized she’d been lying to herself every single day about the man she’s dating. He’s amazing, but he has no sex drive.

He has such a low sex drive that once a month is fine for him, and if it lasts for more than five minutes, he feels like he’s done too much work. She is a very sexual being. Sex is important to her. She’s passionate, erotic, sensual, and she loves sex. She loves it when a man pleases her, and this man won’t. The thing is she’s still with him because he’s great in so many other ways. So every day she tells herself, “It’s fine. I can cope with out the sex.” But she’s lying to herself!

So many women do this. You lie to yourself. You’re depriving yourself because of your limiting beliefs, which somehow found their way into your brain.  It could have been your Mother or Grandmother that said, “You can’t have everything so be happy with what you have.” What happens now is you’ve gone through your life with that subconscious loop playing. You allow yourself to put up with less than you desire because you’re convinced you can’t have what’s important to you.

If this sounds familiar to you then keep reading. Because I’m going to show you a new way of thinking about things, that will blow you away. I believe you can have everything. Yes, there are compromises in relationships. This isn’t some utopia. We’re not living in a Disney movie where you’re Rapunzel and you meet Flynn Ryder, fall in love and live happily ever after.

The man you meet may not love the beach vacations you do. He may be the city vacation guy. He may be the skier. His favorite food might be Thai and yours is Vietnamese. He might be vegetarian, and you’re a meat eater. He might not like alcohol, but you enjoy a glass of wine with dinner. You can work on these little things with no problem.

You can always switch vacations or even go on separate vacations like I was talking about. It’s very healthy and it’s a great way to keep your relationship fresh. It’s your inner needs, wants, and desires where you need to state your truth always. Never hide who you really are, because that’s when you start lying to yourself.

How Long Will Relationships Based On A Lie Last?

You’re lying because you don’t believe you can have those needs fulfilled. Try to be in a relationship where it’s not passionate and see how long it lasts. Try to be in a relationship where communication isn’t there, and see how long it works. Take a look at your past relationships, and tell me why you haven’t learned the lesson yet.  History repeats itself. Every time you compromise on one of your core values, one of your needs, wants and desires, you’re not going to be happy. So the longer you stay with somebody, the harder it’s going to be to leave, it’s the more vested you get. State your truth from the get go.

Tell a man how you want him to love you. See if he’s up for the challenge. See if he’s up for it. Talk about these things on dates. State it to the person you’re dating, “Hey you know I really love an affectionate man. Hey, I love sex. Well, how do you love sex? What is your definition of great sex?”

Get them to define it.

Get them to define what a perfect weekend is. Get them to define their ideal family life. See if it matches what you want. Don’t be so afraid to state your truth. Your truth is all you have. Your truth is all you can possibly be, and all you can possibly do. So why are you so afraid to state your truth?

State your truth. Be open to your truth. Embrace your truth, and you’ll see things change immensely.