How-To-Change-Your-Guy-Without-Him-Even-Realizing-It-1So many women are so afraid to state their dating intentions.

Now, you may be thinking that you have stated your intentions, “I told him that I want to get married one day and have kids…”

But that’s not stating your intention, that’s just stating an idea. It’s not stating who you are or how you want to feel or what you’re all about.

A woman friend of mine who I really respect was going out with this guy.

She liked him a lot. She had great chemistry with him.  She smiled, she laughed, and they’d talk until all hours of the morning.

But the man she was dating already had a family and didn’t want another one.

He already stated he didn’t want another one several times.

So instead of thinking that she could change him, she actually stepped up to the plate and did something a lot of women don’t do in situations like that:

She friend-zoned him.

She told him, “Listen, I like who you are a lot.  I feel wonderful around you.  I’d love to sleep with you and be with you.  But you want something totally different and I’m not going to change that.”

She then proceeded to get really open and raw with him and said, “I used to change men all the time in my 20s and 30s.  I used to always think I could change a guy. Sure enough, I wasted years with men where still I ended up breaking up with them even though I thought that things would change.”

When she told me this I can see that she had hit a new stage of her emotional maturity.

She looked at me calmly and said, “I finally get it.  I understand now that there’s an abundance of men out there in the world. This one was amazing and felt great, but I wasn’t going to change him.  He was not going to be something different for me.  I don’t have that power to change anybody and I need to respect that about the world.”

This woman friend of mine learned one of the greatest lessons that a lot of women don’t learn.  She learned a huge lesson on men as they are.

When we tell you we don’t want something, we mean it.  We are very black and white the way we speak.

We’re not giving you mixed signals.  The mixed signals come from when you discuss it with your friends.

There’s always a friend that will tell you, “No, he wants a relationship.  He’s just giving you mixed signals.”

We’re not giving you mixed signals.  Just because we enjoy the time with you, because we make love to you, because we may go on a vacation with you still doesn’t mean we want what you want in the end.

You’re not going to flip a switch in us.  We’re men.  We state what we want and we state who we are.

So listen to what we have to say.  Respect it and if it’s not what you want, be okay with it and move forward.

There’s plenty of men out there in this world that want to be with you, love you and give you exactly what you need.

Find them.