A lot of people get into what I call “relationship sex mode,” which is that point in a relationship you reach where you always know the sex is going to be there. How does this manifest itself?
Picture this. You’re sitting on the sofa watching television and hanging out together. You know you can always have sex with that person so you lose what I like to call “the urgent sex.”
It’s so interesting how when you’re first dating someone, there seems to be this urgency to have sex. The two of you can’t sit on the sofa long enough to even finish watching an entire television show. Every time you start a movie, you never get past the first half hour because you just can’t wait to get at each other.
When you’re in a relationship, the problem is that you begin to spend a lot more time on the sofa — time that you really should be spending having sex. What you’ve got to realize is that when it comes down to it, the reason you are in this relationship in the first place is because you two had that incredible urgency and “can’t keep our hands off each other” feeling.
This feeling is something you need to keep in your relationship with your lover. Otherwise, you’re just going to get bored and your sex life will become very routine.
I find that this happens to so many people. A lot of people, for example, will get into a routine of watching television then going to bed and having sex . . . always around the same time. They only have sex at the end of the night when they’ve gone through their “routine.”
So you’ve got to start remembering what it was like to have urgent sex, the kind you had at the beginning of your relationship. You need to incorporate some urgent sex into your routine.
Every night need not be exactly the same. You need to mix it up a bit.
One night maybe you watch a movie. Then another night have urgent sex. Another night, watch some television. Another night have a long conversation about your lives and then make love after connecting.
It doesn’t matter what you decide to do and when. The key is to avoid that routine. The key is to avoid the routine of flipping on the television every night, because the television is the worst thing in the world for your sex life.
When you’re just laying on the sofa watching television, you’re not connecting with each other. You may be sitting next to each other, but you’re not connecting with each other.
So you need to take a good look at your sex life and see what’s happening with it. Are you already in a routine? Are you having sex at the same time every night after watching television?
You need to mix it up a little bit. Every week needs to be different.
Also, one or two nights a week you need to just turn the television off altogether. You need to get into a really deep, connecting session with your lover where you learn more about how to touch each other in different ways.
Otherwise, you are going to be doing it the same way every single time. When that happens, after a while you will both inevitably get bored.
So remember that incredible sexual urgency that you had in the beginning. That is what made the two of you come together in the first place. You came together because you were hungry for each other.
Don’t lose that hunger for each other. Keep that hunger going. Make sure you take that sexual urgency back with you partner, because that’s what’s usually missing in a relationship.
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Popularity: 5%
1:10 pm
hey I clicked on the link to get the secret product some reason it doesn’t work???
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1:10 pm
howe- try again the link works for everyone.
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1:11 pm
never mind got it, some reason it didn’t work with my browser the first time sorry:(
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1:12 pm
Thanks CJ!
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1:13 pm
Got to keep this in mind next, i think as you mentioned variety is the key to good sex!
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1:14 pm
anyone listened to the sex with the master program?
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1:18 pm
Hey Steve-
So far I am half-way done with it, it goes deeper into erotic messages, orgasm, just pretty much about how to become a better lover, I got a good deal on it so had to get it:)
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1:19 pm
Leo-
I have been thinking about it, just reading the info now, it looks really good, thanks for the update:)
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1:20 pm
sure your welcome:)
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1:32 pm
Great point D- too much time spending on the couch gets boring, and relationship gets stale, I wish my current guy knew this, actually I will have to share your article with him today since we are getting together for dinner:)
Thanks and everyone have a amazing sex weekend!
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1:33 pm
You too Julia have an amazing sex tonight after dinner:)
Love your directness.
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1:35 pm
sure Jimmi:)
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11:41 pm
Nothing 2 do with todays topic but I recently made the decison 2 never get drunk again. Like 2 days ago I got really drunk at a party. Not throwing up but close enough. And I have 2 say that I didn’t like 1 bit of it. My head was spinning, I felt sick to my stomach, I was no longer having fun. I actually had more fun at the party sober than drunk. So long story short I am restricting myself to 0 alcohol, max of 3-4 beers, or 1 cup of wine. If anything ill barely b buzzed, I jus feel that I can have a great time w/o the sickness, spinning rooms, n slurred words.
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8:25 am
I’ll add that to the list of places I’d rather be and things I’d rather be doing…. Oh wait! It’s already on the top of the list!
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5:16 pm
Okay, I’m getting off the computer now and I’m going to go have sex. Thank you for the reminder!
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4:10 pm
I never watch TV… it’s so rare that I watch it… but if I do watch a movie on TV with my g/f, we are still having a blast just touching each other.
It just builds that tension… that urge… so that as soon as the movie is done, you know what’s going down!
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2:23 pm
Who wants to have sex wit me tonight text me at 918 237 9871 or I’m me at zack24fan@hotmail.com
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