Pickup Lines-Avoid All Of These
Now that it’s summertime –at least for a few more weeks! Summertime is like pickup season. Everyone looks at Memorial Day to Labor Day as the time that they’re going to go out there and meet somebody.
Women look good, men look better – everybody thinks that they’re just going to go out and pick up somebody. It’s pickup season.
But the fact of the matter is that if you look at it as pickup season, you are NOT going to meet anybody!
So, without further ado, here are ten of the worst pickup lines we have ever heard in our entire lives:
A woman and her mother are walking down the street. Of course, the old cliché is, “what are you two, sisters?” Like they haven’t heard that a thousand times! And then all of a sudden the guy makes the comeback, “oh no way, I knew you guys were sisters!” Meanwhile, the woman clearly looks 70 and the daughter clearly looks 40 – they don’t look like sisters. But thanks for the flattery.
How about another bad pickup line – walking up to a woman and saying, “you’re beautiful!” And then you have absolutely no comeback after that. You say, “you’re beautiful,” she says, “thank you,” and what happens next? No conversation.
Or how about, “don’t I know you from somewhere?” She knows you don’t know her from anywhere, and she’s heard that about a thousand times! You’re the third guy today to say that, so why are you bothering?
Another bad pickup line: “can I buy you a drink?” Does she look homeless? Why don’t you just buy her dinner? Do you go into a clothing store, walk up to a woman and say, “can I buy you a dress?” “Can I buy you a top?” Lame. They’ve seen it a thousand times before – she’s going to take the drink and run.
Here’s another one: you walk up to a woman on the street and say, “excuse me, weren’t you at the barbeque last Sunday?” I’ve actually seen guys use that one! A woman will point-blank look at him and say, “no, I was out of town.” And then she’ll tell you everything she was doing last weekend, too! So in a way, it is such a bad pickup line that it actually might work!
Another great bad pickup line: “excuse me, do you have the time?” Meanwhile, you’re so unobservant, you didn’t even realize that she doesn’t have a watch! And your carrying your cell phone in your hand which has a clock attached to it! That’s a bad pickup line!
Here another bad one: “excuse me, do I know you from somewhere? Aren’t you my future ex-girlfriend?” She’s heard that one before. And you know what? She is your future ex-girlfriend, starting from the second you utter that line!
Another one would be: “excuse me, can I have your number, because I just lost mine!” That’s a winner. You have to break that down a little bit. It doesn’t even make any sense that someone would walk over there and say that! “Excuse me, I lost my number, can I have yours?” It makes no sense at all.
Here’s another good pickup line: a guy walks into a coffee shop and sees four girls sitting around, having a cup of coffee. The guy walks over and says, “hey, what are you guys doing, having coffee?” I’ve seen that happen so many times.
There’s the power of observation, and then there is the power of being a dunce. What is that? Are you girls having coffee? No, it’s not coffee…
August 17th, 2008 at 8:33 pm
These are REALLY funny … mostly because most of us gals have actually heard at least one or two of these …
Of course, these are no “Are your feet tired … cause you’ve been walking through my mind all night long”
August 17th, 2008 at 8:41 pm
Hahaha man that gave me a good chuckle… especially the last one about coffee… so true!
I also want to mention that I’ve actually pulled off the “aren’t you two sisters?” sort of. Back in my “opinion opener” days I once came up and asked that same very question to a mom and daughter who really did look like they could’ve been either sisters or at least distant cousins. The mom was a total milf, so the question wasn’t all that unbelievable. Plus, I also told them that my friends and I were debating the fact earlier and as soon as I pointed to my group everyone gave the two of them a little wave. So I guess anything can work if you do it right.
Anyways, funny stuff David. I really enjoyed reading some of those!
August 17th, 2008 at 8:46 pm
I have never used pick up lines (just natural openers like you always say) but last night I got shut down by a girl as if I was using a pick up line. We were just having a nice conversation at a house party and out of nowhere she says ” Honestly, I would never be interested in dating a guy like you”. I wasnt even trying to pick her up. Thing is, the feeling was mutual but im not going to just blurt that out to her to make her feel bad. I was just being nice. She was just one of like 20 people I talked to that night and I treated her with the same respect as everyone else. (I had a great time btw using my improved social skills thanks to your lessons David) I was shocked and tried to just laugh it off (I wonder what kind of guy she thinks I am) but really I have been trying to recover from that comment all day. How do you recover from something like that?
August 17th, 2008 at 9:15 pm
Ouch Doug…that is a rough one. I suppose you can count yourself lucky that you weren’t any more friendly with her than you were? Probably, not enough to make you feel better after a rude body slam like that. Did you ask her if she was always that presumptuous?
August 17th, 2008 at 9:46 pm
maybe she was just testing you to see what you’d say…plus like david says, it’s just an encounter. You get over it by having another good encounter right after.
August 18th, 2008 at 1:16 am
Doug,
happened to me few months ago.
I would say the only solution is let it go and grab the next “victim” to go and talk to.
She does not like me? Next!
Why losing a day or as you put it “recovering” from rejection in this case when some random girl does not like you? Think how ridiculous that is!
August 18th, 2008 at 11:10 am
I was in the selfhelp section of a book store. There was an attractive woman in the same section with a stack of books. When she glanced at me I showed her i was looking at dating for dummies! I just smile and did not say a word! A minute later i asked so whats in your stack? She started showing me her books, I said it sound like you had a over bearing mom, and you could not do good enough! She laughed and said exactly. We talked for 20 mins, and she did give me her number. She turned out to be an attorney. FUN stuff!
August 18th, 2008 at 11:33 am
A few years ago I did the “Do I know you from somewhere?” line and she gave me a disgusted brushoff. However, just last week at a mixer, I wasn’t wearing a watch and forgot my cell phone, so I had to go up to this girl and genuinely ask her for the time, although I’ve done this in the past because I wanted to speak with the girl. In this case, I didn’t care at all what she looked like, I just wanted the time. After she gave me the time, I was just about to make some small talk since I’m already there but she beat me to the punch and started making conversation with me. I was pleasantly surprised as we eventually exchanged contact details and we’re going out some time this week. I guess my being authentic and genuine and being congruent with who I was gave off an attractive vibe.
August 18th, 2008 at 11:40 am
haha, last semester in college i heard this in a party “tell me. Did it hurt when you fall down from heaven?”
August 19th, 2008 at 10:37 am
hehe, i seriously thought pick up lines such as those you describe, david, were oudated!! i thought more clever ones were invented.. where’s the creativity?!
newer ones i’ve heard were crap about my eyes O.o
anyhow, i’ve heard the “have you got the time?” from a guy at a train station..after he sat down at the seat next to me AND pulled out his cell phone, i realized what he’d just done..i was 16 then!
August 27th, 2008 at 5:47 pm
In a word - hilarious.